When is it too late?

[aminaSa]

Is there a period of time,when its pathetic and wrong if you still have hopes ? i am 7 weeks of NC,and friends tell me i should have forgotten him by now long time ago.Is it really that long time?

[CatsMeeoow]

Well it's never too late I guess and 7 weeks really isn't that long. Some people take one to two years to get over someone.

 

I think what your friends are really saying is its time to be making some new plans so you are not stuck in the same proverbial rut.

 

That doesn't have to mean dating but establishing new routines and while you don't have to "be over" this guy you do need to accept that its over... at least for now. Its important to take care of yourself and recognize processing loss is not linear. You will have ups and downs along the way. I think your friends really feel bad for how you are feeling but sometimes we just don't have the right words or we just simply get burned out on being the sole support system. That's why a place like this is great! On your lower moments just log in and state how you are feeling and soon it will be followed by lots of words of encouragement.

 

The best gift I got from my last breakup (which took me 1 1/2 yr to get over) was the ability to really know what I wanted and learning the way to going about and getting it. No I didn't get back together with my ex but I found a wonderful man and married him!

 

Hang in there... HUGS!

[In The Cold]

NO WAY! 7 weeks?! thats nothing - your freinds are saying what normal freinds would say. Look - your not going to "forget" the person per se, I told my first real g/f I loved her when I was 16, and I still think about her from time to time (like, maybe a few times a year) and that was 14 years ago. Lots of ppl that post here secretly have "hope" of reconciliation (maybe not so secretly, I mean look at what forum your posting in).

 

The key is to focus on yourself right now, its perfectly natural to think about them, but the key is going to be to heal - and for that you need to focus on yourself. Every second you spend thinking about them, is time you COULD be using to focus on you.

 

We're all going through the same thing - its normal

[madine]

My dad says it'll take easily the same time you were together to get over someone. So in my case that would mean about 13 months. I'm five months in and still feel crappy as ever. The only progress I've made if you can call it that is I no longer have the urge to contact her. But I still miss her every second of the day.

[aminaSa]

My dad says it'll take easily the same time you were together to get over someone. So in my case that would mean about 13 months. I'm five months in and still feel crappy as ever. The only progress I've made if you can call it that is I no longer have the urge to contact her. But I still miss her every second of the day.

 

 

Not really! a friend used to date a guy for 5 years,and now she is over him.She is crazy about a new guy

 

 

I really hopwe i will not lose 1 year to get over that jerk haha

[pennyloafer2]

Your friends just want you to be happy. Go at your own pace. Try to build a life without thoughts of your ex. It's a slow process but ultimately you'll be happy.

[aev]

If there's anything I've learned, it's that time ain't nothing but a number. There have been breakups I've gotten over in three days or three years. Likewise, there are reconciliations that happen as soon as a few days to several decades later. There's no way you "should" feel. There's just what you do feel. Ride it out. Your feelings will shift in time. Trust it and be kind to yourself.

[EgoJoe]

My breakup took longer to unfold than you've been broken up and is now over four months out. I am not completely over it but I can laugh at jokes and smile again. Give yourself a break but focus your mind on healing even if you hope to reconcile. Tell yourself, "I will heal. I will grow, learn, change and become better and stronger!"

 

Say this to yourself until you come to believe and act upon it.