InvisibleWound's Everything Journal

[InvisibleWound]

Hi eNotAlone. I decided to start a journal for myself but also for I am not constantly posting threads. I could just put a lot of what I want to say in here. Choosing a name is hard so "Everything" is the best way to sum up this journal, it will have a bit of everything in it.

 

I got today off from work and I am bored out of my mind so this seems like a good idea. I am having a cup of hot chocolate right now, just relaxing. I have started the long and annoying process of washing my fleeces. Every year I seem to buy one or someone else does so my collection is up to 9 fleeces. I am washing most of them and putting them in a box. I always keep 2 to 3 in my chair at my computer because it gets cold over here, I am right beside the balcony door. Maybe one for the bed and the rest can just be out of the way.

 

I made a list yesterday of stuff to get today and its a pretty long list, but that is ok. I think if I work at it I will get it all done and have tomorrow to just relax. Or split the chores up. I was hoping the dishes would be done because the roomate started them but he has left the rest to soak since 6am this morning I guess this is what video games does to some people, so in return on my days off I do everything and don't really get to relax.

 

My boyfriend works a lot of 14 hour shifts so I don't expect him to do much. I guess I am just being a bag and complaining but its how I feel.

 

Hmm... Hmm... I am not sure what else to put right now.

[InvisibleWound]

I got to write here because I am very misrible right now... The last few days have been emotional and frustrating. I called my bank last night and talked to a credit specialist about debt consolidating and loans. I was told I can't even apply right now because I have only been at my job for 3 months, Oh and the only asset I have is a car that was given to me.

 

I asked them if they had something in place for if you were to lose your job while paying the loan back and they said no. So I definitely was upset by this. I don't think I can go this route now. I think I may have to suck it up and try and pay the 7,500 down the best I can with what I have. I just can't put myself in a situation of unsure income. With the way things are going at my job, I think I am going to try and find work elsewhere. I only get part time hours, so that amount of money is hard for trying to pay the card down.

 

I considered moving in with my parents temporary to pay the card down but if I do that it won't be a huge savings because my distance will be greater for travel. Plus if I even try and talk to my boyfriend he will get upset and take it as us breaking up. I am at a point now where I don't want to be doomed with this debt. I will probably be in my 30s when its paid off... I am doing the best I can, paying as much as I can. And I don't even use the credit card, I just make payments on it.

 

Ugh... This is only part of my frustration though. My co worker today was going on about our supervisor stealing our tips again and it ruined my mood for the whole day. I went nuts trying to strip my rooms out and when I saw the supervisor who fills in for our main one go into one of my rooms I just started at her. I think she was uncomfortable. She came out and handed me $2.00 dollars in quarters, she has not done that in months. Then she went to the hall I was not working by and stripped out those rooms, and then no more tips for me. I am getting really frustrated. I can't saw anything because I have no solid proof of anything. She later made a passing comment to me and said "Are you going to split that tip?" and I was not sure if she was joking so I just laughed. Later she bought it up again and I was mad at this point and said "Do you really want a dollar?" and she said "No, I would of taken it if I wanted it" What the hell does that mean? Seriously.... She was not talking in a joking manner and its almost like to me she just admitted to the crime. Ugh... Either way I am getting sick of working there. Today she got in my face and said I had to go faster, etc... Then I said "Well this room had a dirty bathroom that took me 10 minutes to clean and this room was trashed" She did not even acknowledge what I was saying and just wanted me to hurry up. I was told if a room is really messy or trashed you get extra time. The past few weeks they have been hounding us and trying to make us leave before our end time is even up. 10 rooms would be 5 hours of work, if they were all checkouts. Asking someone to leave at 4 hours of work instead of 5 is ridicules and they don;t factor in that we need 15 minutes to take out all the garbage, and take our stuff to the laundry room.

 

Blah, I am just so fed up. Apparently my time is becoming a problem to the point that one of the mangers may yell/write me up. Which is fine, i delt with being wrote up at TeleTech. I am trying so hard but ugh. I think I need to apply to the new call center and town and say "Oh well" this job is just getting to be to much somedays and the whole tip thing makes me dread even going there knowing I may never see one again.

 

Anyways had to vent... I don';t know what to do at this point. If anyone reads this feel free to comment and leave advice.

[InvisibleWound]

Just Want To Share Some Goals

 

Over the last couple of weeks I have decided that I need to get down and seriously lose weight. No more half thoughts or "maybes" I have to do it with or without my boyfriends participation.

 

I went out 4 days ago and bought brown rice, romaine lettuce, celery, green peppers, apples, bananas, froot loops, oatmeal and oranges and a small jar of peanut butter. I love rice and stir fry so it all works out. I bought Froot Loops as a treat cereal wise and where I work in the mornings I need something good to eat before work.

 

My job is housekeeping so I have a physically active job which seems good, I already lost 15 lbs since starting there. I want to start walking though. So I figured baby steps, like this week I think my goal is going to be to take 2 walks. I know 2 walks may sound dumb, but for someone like me I don't think I will be able to accomplish this unless I start slow. I wrote a letter and I figured I could walk down to my Pharmasave to mail it, should be a 20 minute walk or so.

 

I have been weighing and keeping track of my weight to see if I am gaining or losing. I am looking forward to see how this goes and hoping I stick to it!