do people try to sometimes try to recreate or mock past relationships?

[Sandysun1]

I know this might sound like a strange question, but do people sometimes try to mock former relationships after a really bad breakup or try to recreate them?

 

I'm writing about my brother. He was cheated on throughout his former relationship for 5 years. This was his first real relationship. When he found out he went through an awful time and was diagnosed with depression. He would drink and was angry at everyone. My family tried to get him help, but it didn't work since he wasn't interested in being helped. Right away he would get into one relationship after the other and always find some reason to dump the girl. Most of these girls were really sweet, but he was always saying, nothing lasts forever and he would get out of them right away. This went on for two years and he would also stay in touch with his ex's family and I know he used to spy on her and her new relationship and I know he still does and he still keeps in touch with the girls parents.

 

Here's the thing after a bout of really bad drinking and strings of girls - He met a girl online 4 months ago and after 2 months they decided to move in together. He still talks about how nothing lasts forever and he talks terribly about relationships, even though they're together. He also seems to be mocking his former life with his ex. He takes pictures with this girl at the same places where he went with the ex and writes comments almost mocking his last relationship, I know this since I knew the two of them and certain things they would both say. He takes this girl to dive bars and brags about it. I don't want to be mean, but this new girl was a stripper and she is really much trashier than his last girlfriend. Totally opposite of the ex who was really classy looking - sweet and innocent and a hard worker with a great career and you would never know that she was a cheat. This new girl is unemployed and brags about it, a real slacker, she poses in pictures in lingerie with him. I sometimes wonder if he's trying to act out his former relationship with his ex with this new girl since she's so different from the ex.

 

I know this sounds really strange and I sound nosey, but I'm really worried about him. He makes comments about wishing the world would end so he can die--this just doesn't sound like a man in love and I feel bad for this girl if he is just using her. He also still drinks a lot. They almost always are at a bar or are drinking when I see them.

 

He's my brother but I think he needs serious help and I just wonder could a breakup change a person this much. He wasn't a big drinker when with his ex. He used to be the most romantic person I ever knew. He treated his ex like royalty and now he's become so different, almost like he laughs at the idea of love, but he tells all of us he's in love. Some of the pictures he takes with this girl and posts on his Facebook are like poses he took with the ex, but he makes these odd mocking type faces. He's 25 and recently went back to college. The week he met this new girl he was still lamenting how 5 years of his life was a lie, and then he met this girl online - he met his ex online as well.

 

I'm just curious if there's anyone out there who might have changed this much after a breakup. I barely recognize him anymore.

[LDRohnos]

He sounds like he took that episode with his ex cheating on him REALLY hard and it completely destroyed his self-esteem and he's definitely in a deep depression, as you said. It doesn't seem like he's recovering from it either, if anything he's just wallowing in it.

 

It's fairly obvious that his self-esteem is absolutely shot and he probably thinks that this stripper is about the best he's going to get. He needs to get help because as far as depressions go, they're usually a downward spiral. It's going to get worse unless unless he goes to seek medical attention.

[Klokwurk]

Yes, this happens to some men. I am so sorry... His self esteem is really messed up. He needs forgive himself. He is a real romantic at heart, and true romance is much more difficult to get working in this modern life.

 

I understand him. Actually I want to have a drink with him now. * * * * love.

[In The Cold]

ya thats a tough one for sure - especially if he has already pushed away when you've tried to get him to seek help before. More drastic measures (intervention) might be needed.