bdbmwer Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Im currently on day 6 and shes already texted me twice . One asking why i deleted her on FB and another asking what our professors email was today. I ignored both of these texts and just now I heard my phone ringing, I got to it late and it was HER thank god I was slow because i was so tempted to answer My question is this. When is it appropriate to not reply at all and when is it appropriate to answer the call? I mean i have to answer eventually dont I or well get nowhere? as far as the breakup it was worded as break and was not bad at all. it was due to codependency related tendancies and what ive now come to realize as the intrusion by another guy shes now seeing but I dont see it going anywhere. also worth noting is she got her friend to text me today asking what im doing for the weekend even though ive talked to this girl like once. today must be a really desperate day for her =D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 No contact means exactly that. If she contacts asking to get back together, or is hinting strongly that she does, that is something you might want to answer, otherwise don't reply. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdbmwer Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 ok thank you but how will i know what the topic or reason for her calling is if I dont answer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickyylove Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Why did you delete her off facebook? Erm I think it's quite obvious. What was the prof.'s email? Erm she can ask someone else. Yeah no contact at all, and yeah man lol she so misses you. Well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 She will find a way if she really wants to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 1. it's obvious why you deleted her from fb - you broke up! 2. she can easily find the professor's e-mail by doing a google search or checking the campus department listings. if she doesn't know the answers to 1 or 2, she's an idiot. if she really wants to get back together, she can send you a text or an e-mail with the subject like, 'let's get back together.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickyylove Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 It doesn't matter, if it was VERY important she would text also. I assume it's ask why you're ignoring her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pennyloafer2 Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 No Contact at all. If there is some practical reason to contact her (ie, you left a book at her house) have a friend get the book for you. Contact just brings up the old feelings and delays healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angler Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Don't reply to any of it. Breadcrumbs. If the reason for her call is really important, she can leave a voicemail, or text you, and if neither of those has any substance, continue to ignore. Just remember how crazy and desperate you felt at first when you wanted her most and she wanted you least....now turn the tables. Don't think she won't find a way if she wants to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Keep leaving it alone. If she starts to approach you near class or send emails continuously. Break out the boundary and just say, "I'm not your friend or interested in being friends." then walk away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdbmwer Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 thanks everyone! I appreciate the reinforcement and feedback. I thought I was being too harsh but i must admitt its kind of fun being the one chased after worrying about how to get her back for so long Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdbmwer Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 Im at another crossroads. Last night I went out to the club and had a blast the hook is that we ended up meeting up with her best friends but my ex wasnt there because she was grounded for the night and they saw me being happy , having a good time, and most importantly all over this other girl which im sure they told my ex. Now for tonight there is this blackout party that I really want to attend. The only problem is our mutual friend who seems to be more loyal to me than her since we hang out more has told me that my ex will be there. However word is that her and her new guy are not doing too well so im not sure if hell be with her. Do I go because I want to go or do i suck it up for this one and avoid it because she will be there? something tells me after how much ive ignored her she will try to have a "talk" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Don't go, do something else and for the love of god stop talking to her friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angler Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 my ex wasnt there because she was grounded for the night LOL, what!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdbmwer Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 yea...she still lives at home. funny huh. HOW did i leave this out. regarding her friend. well her and my ex had a talk and our friend assured her we were just good friends and all but last night my ex's friend, me , and the girl I was dancing with (my ex's friend's friend) slept together and almost ended up having a 3some haha! thats why I think shes more on my side because she wants me imo. talking to her friend is bringing me a lot of fun because i always hook up with her friends and we go clubbing. do i really need to stop talking to her? I told her not to bring up my ex so boundaries have been set Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted October 14, 2011 Share Posted October 14, 2011 Dude if you slept with two chicks and didn't have a threesome you lose points. In a situation like that you have to make a move they've already expressed interest and removed the barrier "for" you. You gotta be the man and make the move. All they can do is say no at that point. Which is unlikely. Still, stop talking to the friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdbmwer Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 wasnt failure on my part the 1 girl broke up with her BF THAT night and after doing SOME things started to feel guilty =D and the other one the more she shows interest and the more im ACTUALLY seeing her as a friend even though shes beautiful(this is my exs friend) so it was kind of an all or nothing deal. I still got something . but damn alright Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdbmwer Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 THIS JUST IN. the new dude is already out.....already Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 bwahaha! keep ignoring.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorshammer Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 Make her work for it, let her know you have boundaries, and when you break them and leave, you wont crawl back that easy. Milk this situation for all the attraction it can give you- and i would wait until a voicemail comes clear, or a month passes and you contact her wanting to be friends with a position of strength and confidence. Just keep in mind, she was trying to contact you to keep you as an option, and to give her an ego-boost since this new dude wasnt working out. And seriously, they broke off that fast? Whats her issue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdbmwer Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 so ive decided im not going to let her impede me having fun and im going to this party with a bunch of friends and just ignoring her unless she comes up to me. apparently i was misinformed about the other dude there just not getting along well. anyways im being told this new guy who likes to fight people for no reason along with his roidhead friend will be there so wish me luck that no scuffles start. But strangely I have this weird sense of confidence right now just like when i saw him pick her up from school and didnt care. I feel like me seeing her with him wont bother me for whatever reason as much as it will bother her seeing me and I can be enjoyable tonight. Wish me luck haha this has a lot of potential to swing either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted October 15, 2011 Share Posted October 15, 2011 You need to tell whoever keeps giving you info to stop. Don't go to the damn party. This is going to hurt you down the road. That weird sense of confidence could be denial. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdbmwer Posted October 15, 2011 Author Share Posted October 15, 2011 Heeded your advice. Suppose chances are MUCH higher bad will come from it than any good. Her knowing that I was possibly coming was enough.however I don't think it's denial. Worrying about how everything affects your ex and your chances is mentally draining and eventually you just hit that point where you literally don't care anymore. I've hit it. Thanks everyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.thumb.jpg.a7437edbcaa5924fb077b36bf6653986.jpg)
.thumb.jpg.619cbf9ada685acba712967edfb3e7aa.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.