My Appreciation For All of You

[Heal2Awesome]

I want to thank everyone who ever posted here. Discovering this forum and reading it for the last 2 weeks changed my life.

 

About 1 month ago my ex broke up with me after a fight. I'm a charming guy. I know how to get girls attracted to me. But when I enter a relationship I become a little needy and controlling. Of course my ex was no angel, she had some commitment issues, and can be very immature sometimes. So most of our fights centered around that. Every time we had a fight, her way of dealing with it was to break up with me lol Then I turn myself into Mr. charming and get her back. This happened maybe 4 to 5 times during our 4 month relationship.

 

After our last fight and breakup, she finally seemed to have her mind set to moving on. But she still wanted to be friends. So we did the friends thing for like 2 weeks, and every time we hangout I'd charm her into having an intimate time with me. So naturally I thought (almost positive) that we're gonna get back again. To my surprise, on a Sunday, she text me and say she can't see me anymore for a while. To me this was out of nowhere. I asked her to call me to talk about it. She did. She expressed clearly that our relationship is not working, that she wanted to move on, but every time she hangs out with me she can't help but to fall back, that "it's impossible for us to be just friends". Plus she feels like I wanted to be with her because I just needed someone, that I friended all these girls on FB since we broke up bothered her, and that I just want to get her in bed every time we meet up. (Not all of that is true, I really loved her) I explained and I pleaded on the phone, tried to get her to change her mind....until I felt like it's not gonna happen, so I agreed to let her go and said good night.

 

Next day I felt so confused and hurt and frustrated, so like some of you, I searched online to look for brilliant ideas on how to get an ex-gf back!

 

That's when I stumbled accross this forum.

 

Reading all the posts about your experiences really helped to calm my ego down about being dumped. Instead of feeling like there is something wrong with me, or somehow I need to prove myself by getting her back again, I realized this is just a part of human drama everyone goes through. And it's not a big deal.

 

Following the rules of NC helped me tremendously in healing and moving on. Last week I went out and met 3 girls, had 2 dates, and now in contact with the 3rd girl on FB and we're gonna hang out soon.

 

Yes even after meeting new people I still miss her sometimes, the hurt feelings still pop up here and there. Some days when I wake up in the morning I feel alone and depressed. When it's cold and rainy I fantasize about cuddling up with her. It's only been 2 1/2 weeks since NC, she is still on my mind. But reading all of your stories makes me realize what I'm going through is normal. So I don't take it that seriously!

 

I'm actually starting to feel pretty awesome about being single. Being free and able to pick who I want to date. It would not be possible for me to heal this fast without reading what all of you have to share. I'd probably still be sitting there feeling bitter and plotting ways to get her back!

 

Weekend starts tomorrow, can't wait to go out and meet more women

 

Thanks you guys for posting. Keep it coming!

[guynextdoor]

You stated that you didn't use her for sex but you clearly stated that you used your charm during the 2 wks after the break up to be intimate. Isn't that a little contradictary? May I ask why you are jumping into the dating pool so quickly considering you broke up not too long ago? Do you feel like you are completely healed to start dating again? From your post I dont' think you are ready to date, but that just my .02

[Heal2Awesome]

Intimate means dining out, having a hilarious conversation, walking by the river, holding hands, sitting by the dock, kissing, watching a movie in my room, cuddle up, make out...etc. Maybe she felts that way, maybe it was just an excuse she came up with to justify the break up. It doesn't matter anymore, we are both moving on, and I wish her the best. In retrospect I'm glad she initiated the break up, we were not compatible, and I know I didn't have it in me to break it up.

 

As long as we live in this body that comes with an ego, we're never really healed my friend. I love charming girls, other than lifting weights, dancing, and making fun of my co-workers, that's my most fun hobby!