6 months post break up..is it a good idea to meet up?

[Kuite09]

Okay so as some of you guys may know my story....

Its been since March that my ex of 7yrs broke up.

We have had limited contact here and there since then and he is currently seeing someone at the moment even though he told me he still loves me and misses me etc because it was so much history and feelings are still there.

 

I havnt seen him since May (memorial weekend) I injured my foot and he came to the hospital to see me and take care of me at home.

 

Today I decided to text him and tell him I was thinking about him because I had a dream with him in it and he replied thats funny because a few nights back I had one with you.

We texted back and forth and I told him I miss you!

He replied with- Thanks, im cautious on how I respond to texts from you now because last time I did tell you I missed you and loved you, you flipped out because of my situation (him dating someone) but you know exactly how I feel the same way you do.

I replied with a simple ok and he called me at work, I havnt heard his voice in a month or so.

He called to tell me not to assume that he doesnt miss me etc just because I don't hear from him and that those feelings of missing a person don't fade in just a few months.

 

Back in the end of August beginning of September he called to tell me hes been thinking of me and wants to see me soon and here was I super cool about it and happy until I found out he was still with HER and I flipped out on him and that meet up never happened.

I got so upset because how can he ask me to hang out if he is still with her. I thought he was asking me to see me cuz so was no longer in the picture but I was wrong.

That whole week we argued back and forth and of course me asking him, how could you ? why? etc. I felt like the break up allllll over again.

 

Well the conclusion of todays talk is that I told him I want to see him and he asks why? I was like because I havnt seen you in 5months and would love to catch up. Let me pick the time and day and lets meet up and he said "OKAY" I was not expecting this at all but now I don't know what to think of it? why would he meet up with me if hes with her?

My ex is not a jerk or player type hes also not a child, he is a 36 yr old man.

 

So what you guys think about all this?

 

Why you think he accepted my offer? When I havnt seen him in 5 months.

 

Here is my previous thread.....

 

[22n32]

Who broke up with who? And the reason behind it?

 

And what do u really expect to gain outa meeting up with him.. he has gf and will only pour salt on ur wound..

[Kuite09]

Who broke up with who? And the reason behind it?

 

And what do u really expect to gain outa meeting up with him.. he has gf and will only pour salt on ur wound..

 

He broke up with me and it was due to trust issues he had with me and my nagging, complaining and constant attitude. I took him forgranted no matter what I did he was always there till he got up and just left.

 

I totally understand he is with someone else so why would he even accept my offer?

[KronicMan]

it doesnt sound like youre happy either way if he accepted or not....im sure this would be better if you both were single...i dont think you should meet up if hes with someone, it sounds like you still have feelings--unless u can handle yea im with her and dont plan on leaving

[Kuite09]

it doesnt sound like youre happy either way if he accepted or not....im sure this would be better if you both were single...i dont think you should meet up if hes with someone, it sounds like you still have feelings

 

I know I still have feelings. We were together for 7 yrs and no I am not doing as bad as I was 4, 5, or 6 months ago.

 

Time has gone by but I just been wanting to see him so bad and now I get my chance and even though he did accept my offer why would he even see me if hes with her?

 

My ex is a great guy he is not a jerk or insensitive, hes a 36 yr old man not a child.

[22n32]

I think u need to leave him alone and don't text or invite him to meet up...

 

He needs to come to u and say i think we should try again.. for now ur getting breadcrums by him saying he misses u, of course he is gonna miss u after all those yrs but not enough to try again and he even went out and got a new gf..

 

He likes having u around he has two girls chasing him..

 

I think u need to accept its over for good, take the griveing procceses and go NC and work on ur issues..

 

And don't accept any calls from unless he is single and enough time has passed were u worked out ur issues and u can both restart as a new couple..

 

But for now assume its over forever and there's really zero reasons to meet up..

 

U need to move on. Because he has..

[Kuite09]

I have been working on myself and continue too.

I have so many positive things going for me right now, work is doing good and I just finished buying my first home all by myself and I am so proud of myself for doing that.

He has no clue by the way.

 

I am happy he accepted my offer but don't get why he did if hes still with her.

 

We barely talk so its not like im on him chasing him and stuff but I do text like I did today etc.

[22n32]

Because he wants to keep u around just incase it fails with the other Rel.. this is selfish and not something a real man does..

 

I think the fact he got a new gf speaks volumes of he has moved on.. u should do the same..

 

From ur post it seems ur still hanging on to get back together. U cant fully have a healthy Rel and u have Totaly let go for a period of 1-2yrs and this is with zero contact. Then meet up and if the spark and Passion is there u can move forward..

 

For now its just old feelings coming and going.. u have to let go before u can get him back..

[Kuite09]

Because he wants to keep u around just incase it fails with the other Rel.. this is selfish and not something a real man does..

 

I think the fact he got a new gf speaks volumes of he has moved on.. u should do the same..

 

From ur post it seems ur still hanging on to get back together. U cant fully have a healthy Rel and u have Totaly let go for a period of 1-2yrs and this is with zero contact. Then meet up and if the spark and Passion is there u can move forward..

 

For now its just old feelings coming and going.. u have to let go before u can get him back..

 

I just cant picture him keeping me around as back up just incase...he is not that type but then again who knows.

 

Today when he called me he told me just because I dont call you and you really dont hear from me doesnt mean that I dont miss you and care about you.

Hes like I feel the same way you do and you know exactly how that is.

Why tell me all this bull crap and still be with her?

[HeartGoesOn]

I just cant picture him keeping me around as back up just incase...he is not that type but then again who knows.

 

Today when he called me he told me just because I dont call you and you really dont hear from me doesnt mean that I dont miss you and care about you.

Hes like I feel the same way you do and you know exactly how that is.

Why tell me all this bull crap and still be with her?

 

Because he's banking on having his cake, and eating it too. No matter what he's telling you, the fact remains that he's with her simply by his own choice, and if he wanted to be with you, he would.

 

You're putting yourself in a no win situation, which will obviously not end well. I'm sure this is difficult to accept, but you have to think of the consequences.

[22n32]

Re read what u just wrote me.. why did he write u that? Well exactly why I said little breadcrums and keep ur hope up..

 

U seem to be still a little blinded by him the emotion and love..

 

He can tell u anything till ur blue in the face.. but words are cheap and action is everything..

 

And if u say he is a real man then he wouldn't say he misses u but has a new gf!!! Understand what I'm saying?

 

If I love and care about someone. I would do anything possible to get her back, and Def wouldn't have a new gf..

 

U have ur rose colored glasses on and only see what u wanna see.. its okay we all have been there..

 

But in reality he is playing u.. I'm not saying he doesn't care but clearly not enough..

[Kuite09]

Re read what u just wrote me.. why did he write u that? Well exactly why I said little breadcrums and keep ur hope up..

 

U seem to be still a little blinded by him the emotion and love..

 

He can tell u anything till ur blue in the face.. but words are cheap and action is everything..

 

And if u say he is a real man then he wouldn't say he misses u but has a new gf!!! Understand what I'm saying?

 

If I love and care about someone. I would do anything possible to get her back, and Def wouldn't have a new gf..

 

U have ur rose colored glasses on and only see what u wanna see.. its okay we all have been there..

 

But in reality he is playing u.. I'm not saying he doesn't care but clearly not enough..

 

You are right..I just need to let it go because if he truly loved me he would be here with me right now.