brazilgirl21 Posted October 13, 2011 Share Posted October 13, 2011 I don't even know where to start. Literally. Where do I even start? I guess I can start by sating that it's 3am and I can't sleep. I have to be at work tomorrow by 9am. I can't sleep because dating can just be SO cruel. Why? Why is it this hard and this painful? Why does it hurt this much? And why do we keep putting ourselves back in the game just to get hurt ALL over again. I have been on ENA for almost 3 years after I ended my only successful and 3.5 years long relationship. The past 3 years? It has been disapointment after disapointment. Ok, but let me stop rambling about the past and talk about what happened now. I met a guy. A little over a month ago. It was a mundane Friday and I was having dinner with a close girlfriend. The guy I had been dating for the past month had just went back to his home country and I was a little sad. It wasn't too bad because I KNEW he was leaving when I met him anyways. So the blow is never as big when you already expect it. My friend asked me if I wanted to meet the guy she was seeing at a bar after dinner. She told me he was with a very cute friend who worked with him. I said why not. Let's rock and roll. Of course I wasn't expecting anything, as these setups are always a letdown. When we arrived at the bar - I was pleasantly surprised. Wow, this guy is cute. But not only that, we spent the WHOLE night engrossed in conversation. It was one of those moments where everything clicked. By the end of the night he was already holding my hand. When we left the bar, he tried to kiss me. We ended up going back to his house and having drinks on the living room. We just talked about everything and spent time together. Then he drove me back home. The following day we went to a party at his friend's house and then to a club. Then we went back to his house because we simply could not stay apart. At that time, I have to agree he couldn't stay away from me. I was still not completely crazy about him. On Sunday he works. He's an investment banker in Sao Paulo - the new financial capital of the world. Sorry Wall Street and NYC. At night, we went to grab pizza with our friends who are also dating. On Monday we didn't talk and then on Tuesday he sent me the CUTEST message on facebook. We talked a lot about movies so he sent me a message saying: getting ready to watch some of my faves and posted a clip to each of his favorite film. One clip was of Pulp Fiction, the other was of Big Fish and it was a clip that said: "They say when you meet the love of your life time stops, and that's true". The other one was a clipe about "Fate" from Benjamin Button and he wrote: this is kind of how we met. We talked about how if they hadn't ordered pizza at the bank or if this or that hadn't happened we wouldn't have met on that Friday. Anyways, it was just a clip of his favorite movies, but it was pretty romantic. On Wednesday we went to watch a Brazil game with our friends who are dating. On Friday, some of the girls from my hometown were in town so I had to go out with them. He came too and brought friends. All of my friends were smitten at how amazing and nice this guy was and how he was crazy about me. On Saturday I went to one of his friend's birthday party and ended up sleeping at his house afterwards. Still, nothing happened. Later on Sunday he came by to watch big fish and then dinner. We talked everyday on the following week and on Friday he took me to dinner. We then met a few friends at a bar and then I slept over again. On Saturday we woke-up, went for breakfast and I went to meet friends. On Sunday he picked me up early and we went for a run on the park. Later, after work, he came to spend some time with me at home. We talked most days on the following week and on Friday he took me to a really nice restaurant for dinner. I went to sleep at his house for the 4th weekend. We hadn't had sex yet and we didn't on Friday. I just wasn't feeling secure yet. During the night I sensed that he was a little colder towards me so in the morning we talked and he said that he didn't understand why I still didn't trust him enough to have sex, that we had been together for 1 month and it was natural in a relationship and bla bla. Everything he said made sense. He said that he didn't need to say he liked me all the time because just the fact that he spent EVERY second he wasn't working with me should tell me that. Ok. I got it. We hugged and I said I still needed a little time and bla bla. We then went to have lunch and to an art gallery. Then we went back to his place to nap and then we went to meet my friends at a bar. That night, I slept at his house and we finally had sex. We had breakfast the next day and he went to work. After work, he met me for dinner. On the following week, which was last week, I started to feel insecure. First of all, having sex makes me feel completely insecure. It makes us girls vulnerable. On Monday he sent me a cute text though and all was well. On Tuesday we talked. Everything was good. On Wednesday, we didn't talk at all. I had initiated contact on Tues so I left the ball on his court for wed. On Thursday, I was feeling very insecure. Eventually he showed up and we made plans for Friday. It had been a crazy week for him at work so he just wanted to cook for me and watch a movie. Friday was AMAZING. We had SUCH a great time together and everything seemed perfect. Better than they had been. He said he liked me more now than he had on our first date and that I was amazing and we got along so well and bla bla. Then on Saturday it was a Jewish holiday and I'm Jewish so we went to lunch together and then I had to go to temple. He had a party with friends and I told him to go and NOT worry about getting out early because of me and we'd just meet up when he was ready. It was a day party. That's when things started taking a turn. 11:30pm rolled in and he hadn't contacted me. I texted him to see where he was and he was still at the party. Ok, no problem. He was being very unresponsive to me but I was drinking with friends and my friends wanted to go out so I decided to make the most of a night out with my friends. He texted saying: "Baby, I'm really tired and am going to bed, can we see eachother tomorrow?". I said of course and that I was going out with friends. I was a little irritated for like 5 seconds because we only see eachother on fri,sat,sun but soon enough I was fine. He sent me cute things all night and things seemed really good again. When I woke-up on Sunday I texted him saying I wanted to go for a movie. He said he didn't know what time he'd get out of the office, maybe around 10pm. And then I got very irritated. I was feeling vulnerable because I had sex with him, coupled with the fact he was too tired to meet me after a party with friends. And if he knew he would stay at the office until 10pm on a Sunday, why tell me we'd see eachother? So I guess I was a little pissy: "Haha, ok! No worries! We are probably not even going to be able to hangout let alone catch a movie. Let's talk later". After a while I noticed I had been a little unreasonable so I texted some cute things and stopped being annoyed. So at 9:30pm he asks me if I want to grab something to eat and we go for pizza. Things seemed great, like always. And you guys wonder what's wrong with me, right? Well, I might be crazy, but I'm feeling like something is up. On Sunday, he didn't send me any cute good night texts like he usually does. On Monday and Tuesday we didn't speak at ALL. Today was a holiday and I knew he had to work. Blackberries are down all over the world so we can't talk via bbm - our normal mean of *cute* conversation. So I called him this morning and he was just waking up to go to work. Yes, he also works on holidays. The conversation was normal I guess. But I just feel like something is off. You know that gut feeling? Since I know I might had pressure him a little on the weekend, I sent him a very cute text after he hungup: "Hey, think that your dedication and hard work will pay off on the end. Longterm thinking always! Have a good day at work!". He did NOT reply to my message. And text/phone IS working on blackberry. And he didn't talk to me at all anymore. Look, I know that the guy is SWAMPED at work. Probably a little more then the first week we met, but he always, ALWAYS made time to send a little text or call me. What is up with him this week? Why is he being so distant? Am I psyching myself over nothing? It REALLY does not feel this way. I've been dating the guy for the past month and he is acting different towards me. I guess D-Day is Friday. We ALWAYS go out on Friday because Saturday is his day off. But will he even contact me? It's not looking like he will. And if he doesn't, do I contact him? What do I do about this situation? I don't want to pressure him, but should I tell him how I feel? This guy works SUN-FRI until 1am in a very pressure packed environment, but it has always been like this. I understand the pressure. But it's just hard when he made me fall for someone who was ALWAYS being sweet and making time for me and now suddenly is starting to pull away. I don't want to lose him. But have I already? I don't want to blame the lack of contact on Blackberry because he has my phone number and even though bbm/e-mail is not working he can call or text. What is going on here? How should I proceed? I didn't talk to him on Monday and Tuesday because I know he needs space, but after talking to somebody daily for the past 40 days, it gets very weird when we stop talking specially after we had sex. Ugh. Please, please help a desperate soul and sorry for the long rant. PS. I feel like this is over. When one has to write about it on a new thread on ENA it normally means things are wrong. Link to comment
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