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How do you breakup with someone that you love?

Anonymous 6

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It's been 2 and a half years of a consistent battle, I went out on one date while we were broken up once, but other than that remained faithful- he has- had pictures of other women in his wallet, gotten caught in inappropriate conversations through facebook, e-mail and texts, come home with phone numbers of other women and lied about them, signed up for dating websites while we were together, went to go see an ex girlfriend while we were broken up for a week and still to this day refuses to let me meet her- to add a cherry, made me feel crazy for being suspicious and sniffing out all of his lies.

I'm getting ready to go into the military and I can't put off breaking up with him anymore, I love him, I want things to work, I have tried to forgive him, but there is a gut feeling inside of me that wont let him; It seems that no matter how hard I try I cannot trust him. Maybe I am too unforgiving, which makes me feel awful. I always feel that if I make an honest mistake that if I ask for it, I would hope for forgiveness. However, I don't believe that all that he put me through was an "honest mistake"


If there are any guys out there reading this, if you could please add some Intel on why a guy would treat his girlfriend, who he swears that he loves and wants to marry someday.


Bottom Line- I cannot take the stress or worry anymore, obviously from all of these previous incidents, he has no problem being unfaithful or lying to me about it. I have come to my own conclusion that I would rather die alone than live with feeling insecure about my looks, personality etc.


However, he makes me melt, smile and comforts me in all ways that I want and need. I find it soo unbelievably difficult to leave. I HAVE left before, and I swore I wouldn't go back- Needless to say, I am writing this now. I went back, and I need to find a way to leave for good. I have no idea if there is some sort of game I can play with my mind to MAKE myself not listen to him or think about him. He always finds a way to get ahold of me, and always finds a way to make me come back when he does


how do I break things off for good?

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Think of it this way maybe?


You're going into the military. That means time away for training, any specialized training you may get, and possibly deployment at some date.


If you can't trust him when you're WITH him, how on earth will you be able to trust him any time you have to be away? And how is that wonder, worry, and insecurity going to affect how you can focus on your training, or learning specialized skills - which lead to YOUR potential promotions and selection for assignments?


Is the little words of comfort worth risking your career and the start of your path to the rest of your life?

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Do you two live together or have separate homes? Living together is a lot worse and harder to do then having separate establishments.


It is pretty clear that he is not being faithful, not being real with you and has grown acustomed to you taking him back, knows your every move before you even make it...


It's tooo stressful, its been 2.5 years for him to get it right and he STILL hasn't. It seems like the choice is obvious, Im sure you are a beautiful, smart girl, especially if you were accepted into the military, congrats btw!


I WAS there and still in so many ways AM still since I still am with him, but I CANNOT plan to stay with him when its been 1 year of this now and he still has not gotten it right. He acts clueless, like he did nothing wrong whenever he ignores my calls/text for a 8 hr period, somehow makes me feel bad whenever I go to confront him about still seeing his ex girlfriend, how do I know hes not kissing her and doing her behind my back? Makes me feell like he loves me, then makes me feel like he don't give a damn....Its so hard though because I see the good side of him, I so much see the good fighting the evil. I KNOW and I am positively SURE you know that this is going no where, no matter what either of us say or do, its doomed, not because of anything that you are doing, but because of the things HE refuses to do to make you feel respected, loved and like his equal.


He has(2) phones, one he says is for work, other one is for personal use and only a select few have that number...He takes both phones with him every time he has to go to the bathroom, shower...anything!!! I have snuck through it a couple million times and everytime, for the most part I'd 1. find a text from his ex girlfriend or 2. Find a text from his other ex girlfriend, I found one with inapproritae context, talking about how she wants to suck his (Bllleeeep.) And I again took him back because he told me he never responded back or came over...There is SSOOOOOO much more I can talk about that I complain to my co-worker, best friends on a daily or weekly basis! I want OFF this roller coaster so BAD but now Im faceing possible pregnancy...=( Getting the test soon!...

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o you two live together or have separate homes? Living together is a lot worse and harder to do then having separate establishments.


No, the last time that I caught him being unfaithful I moved out; To make sure that I would not go back to him, I moved into a community that did not allow pets (he has cats) so that he could not come and stay with me.

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You are going out with the classical bad guy. You have zero boundaries, why do I say this? Because you didnt leave, you stood with each clue. He will keep pushing the envelope more and more. And think about it, can you really grow with the history this guy displayed? Thats a lot of baggage! The dude has commitment issues and isnt ready.


If you are going into the US military, be aware that deployments can take up to 6 months in Navy/AF and 1 year with Army/Marines, EVEN if you are in the reserves. This is really bad with someone who wanders off too much. Also, you might meet someone in the military, everyone always does, its like dorming in college.

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