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I really enjoyed reading this post today. Great great insight. I had a really low day today and been struggling majorly. I just feel after 4 mos. post BU that the hurt is never ending. I have the feeling of being wounded and JUST right when I think I am about to go over the "hump" of healing I fall right back down. I don't know what I want anymore all I know is that I have no idea how to let go. I have lost myself in this process and it is incredibly unnerving. I just want enough to be enough already and I don't know how to turn the hurt off. I am scared I will forever hold onto him and I know that isn't healthy but I cannot figure out how to let him go. This post helped me make it through the rest of today though... small victories Thanks Dave!

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" YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM. They have to do this themselves. If you expect them to do it for you, you AGAIN are fooling yourself. In order for someone to change, they have to WANT to change without the pressure of “Change or I will abandon you.” Natural occurring change happens over time, not day; not weeks. People do not change despite what they tell you. They change naturally because they see what it is they need to improve about themselves, NOT because you told them to. If you allow someone back in your life that says they have changed, looks like they have changed but hasn’t…you will be right back where you started soon enough. Don’t give people credit until they earn it. "

 

^ ^ ^ love this, so true.

 

Great post

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Bump!

 

I absolutely enjoyed reading your words SuperDave. You have such a way with words and emotions.

I'm bumping this for other newly heartbroken people to read this gem.

As a fellow broken hearted person as of recent -- I've been in need of words to heal. I can't think straight. So reading inspiration from someone such as yourself and many others on here, my heart is filled with hope and faith. Hope and faith that I'll be okay no matter what. That it seems hard right now and I can't see what the future holds. I just have to trust that this too shall pass - and it will.

 

Everything is temporary. Things change, people change, emotions change. Heck, I have a different view on my long ago ex who cheated on me today then I did years ago. We heal each passing day.

We put so much pressure on ourselves during a breakup that we forget this darkest moment is suppose to catapult us to being the best version of ourselves. I've seen it time and time again. People move on eventually at their own pace and they become this new person I hardly recognize. Usually always a good thing. Allow your pain and hurt to motivate you to realize this moment will pass. This is a moment to evolve and reinvent yourself.

Someday you'll look back at this moment and smile, or cringe. Life is funny that way.

Over time our perspective changes. Our routine changes. We adjust naturally.

Our past loves may or may not return.

But what does it matter if you're one big hot mess. Sometimes we forget that we put someone else we love before us (our partners) and we forget to take care of ourselves.

 

Much love

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