CarnelianButterfly Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I have been talking with a guy in Seattle (I'm in the midwest) for a little over 2 years now. We "met" through Facebook, started chatting and found a mutual interest in each other. During this time, I have dated and had a serious boyfriend and he has had a girlfriend. We exchanged photos, spent hours texting and have even weathered some nasty arguments, but I am way too shy to talk on the phone. He asked me to call on his birthday, which I did and left a voice mail, but otherwise its too close for me to talk to him. I am very very uneasy about this whole situation. I hate to admit how attached I am to him. He is 2000 miles away, has a girlfriend and it drives me crazy. I am so drawn to talking to him because he understands me. I don't have to worry about being too depressive or discussing my darkest issues. He doesn't balk at my history with cutting or being suicidal. He gives me advice that helps strengthen me and move forward. Our only issues are when I date someone he doesn't approve of. We spent a 4-5 month period not talking because he was very much against me dating my ex. This is the ex that turned out to be abusive and horrible to me. I look back at what I was being told by him and know I was an idiot and he was calling me on it. He's been a good friend, but its the things beyond that friendship that makes it hard on me. He's had a nickname for me for a long time, if he doesn't call me by that name he calls me "Lovely" or "Love". He has told me a few times that he loves me. He left a voice mail for me that he said he was grateful to have me in his life and he thought I was a special person. But he will also tell me that he will always be my friend, he'll be my friend to the day he dies. Being told that makes it clear he's just a friend. It really hurts me to be pulled back and forth between him saying "love you" to being told we'll always be friends. I need to stop this insanity and let go. I see the if, but I need to see the reality. I have decided No Contact. I haven't unfriended him from Facebook, but I deleted him from my feed. I'm working very hard not to text him. I had been texting daily, so its hard not to want to tell him about one thing or another. I know I need to be firm in my resolution because it will be better for me in the long run not to have this pain in my heart. Link to comment
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