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Is it possible to stay faithful in this situation? Or should I just not go?

ashley001

By ashley001
in Relationship Advice

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ashley001 Community Regular

ashley001

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I'm going to visit a friend who goes to a university the weekend of Halloween. She is a wild child as far as partying, etc. The last time I visited her in January, I didn't have a boyfriend at home so I could go to these parties with her and dance/grind on whatever guy I wanted, hook up with guys, etc. and not have to worry. I'm just concerned about going because I feel like if I go, but can't get too drunk, can't really dance with guys, etc. I would feel like such a sissy or a party pooper on her/her friends plans. Should I just avoid going completely? Stayful faithful is extremely important to me and I would in no way want to risk anything. Or should I still go?

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piruru Enthusiast

piruru

Posted
Posted
Why would you need to get drunk grind on other men and hook up with them in order to have fun and not be a party pooper? If you don't think you will have self control then don't go.

 

Agree with this so much. Staying faithful or not in this kind of situation really depends on the person though.

 

At the end of the day, if you know yourself well and don't trust yourself enough, don't give yourself the opportunity to make a mistake. Stay home. Your boyfriend will thank you for it.

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Tanzi Mentor

Tanzi

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Have to say I'm pretty confused. Are you saying that because you have a bf it makes you a party pooper simply because you cant grind on other men?!?!? Can't you have a good time without grindng on other men? Why do you HAVE to grind on other men, bf or not? And are you saying that if you go this party you would find it hard to stay faithful?

 

If you know that going to the party is going to lead to you grinding on other men and that NOT going to the party is the only answer you have to staying faithful then I don't think its a question of whether you should go to the party or not, I think its a question of whether you should be in a relationship or not! Personally I don't think you are ready for a steady and committed relationship if you already know that you are going to have a hard time staying away from other men that you haven't even met yet.

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sophie274 Mentor

sophie274

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I think the fact of the matter is that this party is going to be dreadfully interesting to you if what everyone else is doing is getting super drunk, and dirty dancing and hooking up with guys. Those types of parties are just boring and gross if you're not into those kinds of activities.

 

That's the reason I wouldn't go - because it sounds like it's just not your "speed", socially, anymore.

 

If the issue really is that you feel you can't trust yourself not to join in (i.e. that you would feel so much pressure to be "fun" like your friends and do what they're doing, that you would end up dirty dancing), then I agree with the others that you need to think about that some more. You should be able to trust yourself in a situation like that, in my opinion (though you may not want to be in a situation like that because it wouldn't be an evening you would enjoy).

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Glowguy Apprentice

Glowguy

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Stayful faithful is extremely important to me and I would in no way want to risk anything.

 

It seems like you've already answered your own question right there. If I was your bf I would be very concerned about your judgment here. The fact that you might be pressured into doing things that are against your principles to gain a favorable perception from your partying friend screams of insecurity issues.

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