choclatelover1 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Hi all, i'm a gay guy and i've got a problem with one of my friends We got to know each other though a mutual friend and I noticed he was getting upset about somthing so I went out of my way to spend time with him and just talk about general things, he finally told me about the issue and i'd had the same problem so I understood him and told him things about the problem that I haven't been able to tell anyone before. We seemed closer after that and we became firm friends. He always says hi to me when he sees me, we meet each other most days for lunch with friends and even though he doesn't always say much to me, if i'm not there he always notices and asks me if i'm ok when he next sees me and if he will see me again. While he was away for a week he appologised about not being there for lunch (which I told him he didn't need to). Hes in a long term relationship with a girl and in my opinion they look good togther and hes always giving her a hug and kiss to the point that its in our faces and a bit "look at us" but he never mentions her or their relationship to me nor does she lunch with us. There are just some things which he does that I don't understand in some ways. He was working on a couple of projects for ages and when he had finished, I asked to take a look and he refused and said it wasn't good enough, though I said it was probably good he still refused but showed it to some other friends and he did the same things with some holiday photos etc. I felt really put out by this as I thought we were friends and I show him things I do. We had a rough time with our Uni exams earlier this year, I nearly failed and he was there for me and I was there for him. But everytime I try and thank him for it, he goes awkard and we end up changing the subject. He playfully flirts with all our friends both male and female but never with me and he also seems different when were on our own, more eye contact, softly spoken and always stops if I look a bit down even if hes going to be late for class and if his girlfriend calls him when were talking he turns his phone off. He mostly leads conversations and keeps directing them back to me and really hates compliments. I was considering leaving Uni and when I told him he got really upset about me leaving. When I decided not to leave he was really happy and excited about me staying. Hes like one of my best friends and hes done so much for me by being there which is more than anyone else has and he asks nothing in return but on the other hand his behaviour really confuses me. I feel like i've done somthing wrong when hes being standoffish like not showing me his project and a few other things. I've tried to talk to him but if I get near the subject he avoids the question. I spoke to one of my female friends not at Uni and within the second sentance she said that perhaps he likes me more than a friend but I don't know how thats possible as hes committed to a girl. I care about him as a friend and I can't see any malace in what he does and just want to know where I stand and if i've done anything wrong. If I can't get him to talk to me about it then I don't know what to do, can anyone suggest anything? Thanks in advance.. Chris x Link to comment
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