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What does my friend really want from me...

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Hi all, i'm a gay guy and i've got a problem with one of my friends


We got to know each other though a mutual friend and I noticed he was

getting upset about somthing so I went out of my way to spend time with

him and just talk about general things, he finally told me about the

issue and i'd had the same problem so I understood him and told him

things about the problem that I haven't been able to tell anyone before. We seemed

closer after that and we became firm friends. He always says hi to me

when he sees me, we meet each other most days for lunch with friends and

even though he doesn't always say much to me, if i'm not there he always

notices and asks me if i'm ok when he next sees me and if he will see me again. While he was away

for a week he appologised about not being there for lunch (which I told him he

didn't need to). Hes in a long term relationship with a girl and in my

opinion they look good togther and hes always giving her a hug and kiss

to the point that its in our faces and a bit "look at us" but he never mentions

her or their relationship to me nor does she lunch with us.


There are just some things which he does that I don't understand in some

ways. He was working on a couple of projects for ages and when he had

finished, I asked to take a look and he refused and said it wasn't good

enough, though I said it was probably good he still refused but showed

it to some other friends and he did the same things with some holiday

photos etc. I felt really put out by this as I thought we were friends

and I show him things I do. We had a rough time with our Uni exams

earlier this year, I nearly failed and he was there for me and I was

there for him. But everytime I try and thank him for it, he goes awkard

and we end up changing the subject. He playfully flirts with all our

friends both male and female but never with me and he also seems

different when were on our own, more eye contact, softly spoken and

always stops if I look a bit down even if hes going to be late for class

and if his girlfriend calls him when were talking he turns his phone off.

He mostly leads conversations and keeps directing them back to me

and really hates compliments. I was considering leaving Uni and when I

told him he got really upset about me leaving. When I decided not to

leave he was really happy and excited about me staying.


Hes like one of my best friends and hes done so much for me by being

there which is more than anyone else has and he asks nothing in return

but on the other hand his behaviour really confuses me. I feel like

i've done somthing wrong when hes being standoffish like not showing me

his project and a few other things. I've tried to talk to him but if I get near

the subject he avoids the question. I spoke to one of my female friends

not at Uni and within the second sentance she said that perhaps he likes

me more than a friend but I don't know how thats possible as hes committed

to a girl. I care about him as a friend and I can't see any malace in what he

does and just want to know where I stand and if i've done anything wrong.

If I can't get him to talk to me about it then I don't know what to do,

can anyone suggest anything?


Thanks in advance.. Chris x

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