Hi, please help

[20yrshurtand r]

Stick to your demand bornfree. Please get that lawyer going now. Whether this works out or not, you need protection. He needs that serious wake up call.

[swampyankee]

By the way I have bolted the door several times and each time he starts ringing the bell and I relent and open it because the children are asleep and I don't want to cause a scene in the neighbourhood. I will still have to live here after all.

 

Sounds like he's being very belligerent and disrespectful of your wishes. You're giving in to him just shows him that he can disregard what you have to say and continute with his behavior with no consequences whatsoever.

 

I would contact a lawyer and see about putting some teeth into your request by way of a restraining order. That way if he comes home again to a locked door, you can call the police on him.

[Rabican]

Ok first of all dont blame yourself for this behavior. Your husband cheated, he took vows when he married you and he broke them. Maybe he wasnt happy anymore in your relationship, and maybe you can take some amount of blame for him not being as happy... but thats as far as you can stretch it. You didnt put a gun to his head and make him cheat. hes doing that all on his own, and nothing you did MADE him do that. So stop asking yourself what you did. Hes a jerk.. End of story. You cant fix it, only he can do that... and if I were you at this point I would NOT want to fix it... kids or not. I have two kids, and if my wife were doing what your husband is I can guarantee you that Id be at the lawyers office right now waiting for them to open in the morning.

Do yourself two favors, 1 do some investigative work. Get all your phone logs from his cell phone showing incoming and outgoing calls and texts. Then every chance you get for a few days forward all of his texts to your phone, (or better yet your email), if you cant forward them, write them down with time and date stamps. then 2, get yourself a divorce lawyer, change the locks, and tell him hes gone. DONT take him back after that... he made his bed now let him lie in it. As far as I can see, hes done. Better for you, and your kids to end that story asap.