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I hate my co-worker, how do I make her shutup


Miss Kitty

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I have a co-worker that is really annoying. She pretends to be someone's friend but she's passive aggressive. I used to really like her. Lately, I hate her. Everyday she makes comments about what I eat for lunch, if I'm following my diet, that I gained weight back that I'd lost (after surgery, yeah, I gained weight while having to lie down during recovery for hours everyday). I am getting really fed up with it. She fixed her body through plastic surgery. I'm trying to do it on my own. Then today she really crossed a line. She was calling my boyfriend disgusting because he was all dirty at work. His job is loading mulch and bags of dirt an cow crap into people's car. What does she expect? I am getting really, really fed up with her. Do I say something to her or management? My bf said that if she says anything to me, he'll take care of the situation by making it very clear to her that she will shut up or he'll have her fired for harassment. I don't know if I want to tell him though because I'm afraid that he'll get fired for what he says to her. I don't know how to handle this, but it's getting to a point where we can't peacefully work together at all.

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1 - shes not harrassing anyone. Being mean spirited and snide isn't harassment.

 

2 - you're BF is sounding very immature, and extremely inappropriate. He really would threaten her because she's being a rag? No go.

 

3 - you need to confront her on your own. Stand up for yourself, and fight your own battles. Pull her aside and say, "You know Joan, maybe I'm being hypersensitive lately, but some of the comments you've been making really hurt my feelings and upset me. I'm sure you didn't mean them that way, but I'd appreciate you cooling off."

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3 - you need to confront her on your own. Stand up for yourself, and fight your own battles. Pull her aside and say, "You know Joan, maybe I'm being hypersensitive lately, but some of the comments you've been making really hurt my feelings and upset me. I'm sure you didn't mean them that way, but I'd appreciate you cooling off."

^^ This.

 

If you don't say anything to her, then the next best thing would be to stay out of her way and eat elsewhere.

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No it is a form of harassment, and you can either tell her to shut up, or you will report her.

 

Employers have to protect their workers from any kind of harassment, and this is a form of it.

 

HR will probably get involved, but it's worth it to make her stop, or at least see how her behaviour is affecting other people.

 

You can't just rock into work, and talk to people however you like! It's not like your on your own free time, your on work time and there are rules put in place to protect people.

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I would probably say something back to her to put her in her place.

 

Example:

Her: "Wow, Sally, what have you got for lunch there? Is that a cheeseburger? Thought you were on a diet?"

Me: "Oh, hi, Margie. Was there something you needed, or . . . ?" It's all in the tone. Imagine fake nice, heavily laden with sarcasm. It's worked for me. The key is to dismiss without being downright rude. Eventually she'll get the hint that if it's not work-related, you aren't interested in talking to her.

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We only have one place at work to eat and I can't afford to go out to eat. Also, she says it on the work floor too. She says I'm gaining weight and need to get back on my diet and calls my boyfriend disgusting. Eating elsewhere isn't really an option and still won't fix the on the floor issues. As far as him being immature, I think that's way off. He's angry that someone is hurting my feelings. He's standing up for me. That's a good thing.

 

And I would definlty not confront her in such a nice way. I AM sure that she means it that way because she's a very rude and spiteful person and I would never say that I am being over sensitive when I'm not. Every day I have to deal with her rude, immature, and unprofessional attitude. It's not being over sensitive to be upset by that.

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I don't think your boyfriend or you are being immature, the childish one is the co-worker. Just tell her to keep her negative comments to herself.

 

Thank you. I have tried to tell her that and she still keeps it up. Now she's just getting meaner and attacking my boyfriend as well.

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No it is a form of harassment, and you can either tell her to shut up, or you will report her.

 

Employers have to protect their workers from any kind of harassment, and this is a form of it.

 

HR will probably get involved, but it's worth it to make her stop, or at least see how her behaviour is affecting other people.

 

You can't just rock into work, and talk to people however you like! It's not like your on your own free time, your on work time and there are rules put in place to protect people.

 

I agree, it is harassment. One rude comment is different, but on a regular basis, it's harassment. I'll certainly consider going to higher ups. I think I'll have a real serious talk with her first to warn her like you said.

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I would probably say something back to her to put her in her place.

 

Example:

Her: "Wow, Sally, what have you got for lunch there? Is that a cheeseburger? Thought you were on a diet?"

Me: "Oh, hi, Margie. Was there something you needed, or . . . ?" It's all in the tone. Imagine fake nice, heavily laden with sarcasm. It's worked for me. The key is to dismiss without being downright rude. Eventually she'll get the hint that if it's not work-related, you aren't interested in talking to her.

 

I put her in her place real good last night. I told her the only reason she's making fun of my boyfriend and I as a couple is that she doesn't have one. She said, how do you know, maybe I just don't go around making it obvious. I said, oh trust me, I can tell. She eventually admitted it.

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Try ignoring her - literally. Don't rise to the bait and respond to her nastiness. Simply act as though you didn't even hear what she said. Just turn around and start talking to someone else or keep doing what you were doing. Hopefully, she'll get bored with it if it's not bothering you. And when she puts on a "nice" act, don't fall for it - ignore her then, too.

 

Another approach might be treatment in kind. Most bullies only bully those who don't stand up to them, and back off very quickly when they receive the same treatment back. If you're able, respond as though you think her comments are intended to be witty and laugh at them. If not, then just be nasty back. You have a pretty good idea what kinds of things she's going to say, so you can be prepared. You probably have some idea of things she's particularly sensitive to. So for example, next time she makes a comment about your weight, your response could be "Yes, I think I've gained just about as many pounds as you have wrinkles" (or whatever her weak spot is). If you do that a few times, I'd bet she'll back off. If you can tell you're getting to her, you could even offer, in private, that you'll back off if she will.

 

I'd try hard to avoid going to management with this. Considering her a learning experience in life instead and learning how to deal with her a challenge that will serve you in good stead in your life. Unpleasant people are a fact of life and you'll deal with people like her again - so why not find the solution now? Management does not want to have to deal with situations like this and will likely consider this a matter of personalities not getting along and consider you as much or more of the problem. One of you could end up losing your job and it could be you, if they decide you're unable to learn how to deal with others. There's no legal protection against harassment at work - only against sexual harassment. So your job wouldn't be protected unless you have a union to fight for you.

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hi kitty

if we see good in others we communicate love!, so what is she good at, concentrate on that,

what are you good at and unique for?each of us are unique and have not occupied any ones else place, so if we stay ourselves we will let others being themselves too! and then there will be no conflict!

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