Stranger Infatuation...

[ar1993]

Hello everybody!

I'm new here and this seems a great forum in which to share my situation.

I am nearly 18 years old, gay, and i'm attending the fouth grade of high school.

So here i am one day coming back home from school. As always i get out of the exit quite quickly avoiding shyly the crowd, and on my way to the subway i notice the profile of an utterly slim, good looking boy walking in front of me. In that moment i saw nothing else: slender silhouette, silky dark hair, graceful pace...hot. The same thing happens again and again, until during the institute's sports day, during which i could not stop staring at him whenever i had the chance to. Nothing like that had ever happened to me, having feelings for a stranger. And inordinately intense ones indeed. Life suddenly unwrapped, lit up: he became the only true interest, centre of thoughts and desire. Everything else could not be more insignificant. I was stuck.

After a month or so school finished, and i spent my summer thinking about this stunningly handsome boy, and began to discover anything i could about him.

So here are just a few clues to consider:

- two years younger than me

- more than 1000 friends on facebook

- he's a young model

- he's into fashion

- likes glee

- has twitter, with about 100 followers

- made compliments on other male model's photos

- very social, but has mainly girls as friends

- keeps a blog about fashion

- a girl who knows him said he's probably gay

- flamboyant manners and voice tone

 

So apparently all these aspects seem to lead to the possibility that he's gay. In fact, this may well be the less problematic aspect of the whole issue.

 

After the summer break i was really looking forward to seeing him. So the first day i finish school and head straight towards the exit, and there he was standing, new haircut, even taller than before, even cuter. I stare at him for a while but he doesn't even glance at me. Boiling with passion, breathless for the encounter i return home. The same situation has been repeating itself until now, and i'm afraid it will be until i do something.

I have reflected for a long time weather he might like me or not, but honestly no significant clue has come accross for now. He accepted me as a friend on facebook, but doesn't follow me back on twitter. I'm not even sure if he know's who i am.

His eye contact is almost too insufficient to be natural, he might be embarassed by my presence (if he realized i like him, of course).

Now, a few things about me, or maybe just one that sums up all: shy, shy, shy. Few friends, no relations, lots of thinking.

I am terrified even by the thought of approaching him, that's what i mean by being stuck.

Moreover, we have no friend, no interest, no nothing in common with him. But i melt every time i see him, he is so so so GORGEOUS.

 

Recently i came up with the simple (but not cheesy) idea of placing a small, almost accidental comment on his twitter profile about his blog. Something like "cool blog" or "i like your fashion blog" (which would be in italian, because if you still didn't realize, i am italian). In this way i would get a first reaction, an output from him to me instead of the other way round. Depending on the answer, or on the absence of answer, i will be able to understand more about this mess.

 

Ideas? Thoughts? Criticisms? Anything would help guys.

 

Thank you so much for the attention in reading this boring long thread, really, and thank you in advance for any replies.

[meoww]

as a model--he probably gets approached all the time. He probably has many options, are you just looking for a good time? Many models have a hard time settling down until their careers are over. I think you should try to make a mutual friend or try to attend a common social event. Face time is always better than an unmemorable comment on his twitter. He may not answer, and then it would be kind of awkward if you kept pursuing him. Find a way to talk to him in person. have fun!

[chitown9]

What about you? Are you interested in fashion? Maybe you could ask him if you could attend his next modeling gig?...(you could take some cool pictures)...

[ar1993]

Thank you guys

 

@meoww: that was what i was worried about, comments, chats are always a bad choice when it comes to comunicating with people you don't know well, but it would make me understand more. Also, he is a model, but not a particulary busy one i guess, it's more a cool status he is carrying out. But the main issue is me, i'm too shy to face him.

@chitown9: i am a little bit (because of him), but again, i don't have the nerve to approach him and ask.

 

Today i saw him and he kind of avoided me, i hope that's not a sign but only the result of my worry.

[89Caddy]

The first crush I pursued on was a guy who never showed any interest in becoming friends or anything more. I’m like you, shy, but I always focus on being bold in my actions so I made it a priority to become friends with him. We had no mutual friends and the only thing that we had in common was the love of nature. He was the jock, added everyone on facebook whose first name he knew, and I was the awkward, sweet guy that retained information. To summarize it, we became friends because I was persistent, we hung out, he felt comfortable around me, I the same, and then I blew it. A year after of becoming friends I blurted out, after multiple attempts, “I’m attracted to you.” and everything went silent (I got rejected). He allowed me to ask questions to help ease the pain (didn’t work) and in the morning, he said he hoped to see me in the coming winter. He was the mature one and tried to keep the friendship but because I was an idiot, I listened to my best friend (at the time) and sent him a message stating my feelings. He replied to it and the situation got worse. The friendship ended early in the school year and life went on. In November, I received a message from his girl-friend asking what we did together because he mentioned me and said I was cute. The truth is nothing happened and to this day I somewhat regret not maintaining the friendship.

 

The truth was eventually revealed and it was; he wasn’t comfortable with being in a relationship with a guy (was against his morals), he didn’t want a long distance relationship, and felt like a burden because the only reason I went over there was to be with him for a day or two.

 

My words of advice to you would be, to be bold in your actions, have confidence in yourself, become friends; like asking him if he would like to go to (wherever) with you and your friends, be secretive (tell few trustworthy friends only), don’t rush into things and most importantly do not use social networks to communicate with him. It's fine to comment on posts, photos, etc., but don't send messages asking personal questions because text doesn't show emotion. A simple question can be manipulated easily and you could be titled a "creep" for the rest of the year. Be optimistic so you have a passion but understand your consequences.

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out in your favor.

[Capricorn3]

He's 15 years old, a model, has more than 1000 friends on facebook - it seems he gets a lot of attention (1000 friends? )

 

If you're too shy to face him, then it will obviously be extremely difficult to get to know him, so you'll have to make a move if you want to meet him.

 

ETA: Sorry, I just saw your recent comment that he avoided you today. Not sure if it would be a good idea to approach him now.

[ar1993]

Thank you 89Caddy for your story, very sweet. I'm happy it worked out for you but in my case it seems less likely to happen.

 

@Capricorn3: yes, we actually belong to two different leagues: i'm shy, reserved, austere and mild. He's probably popular (among girls), social and quite posh.

How could it work?

 

I really don't how to evaluate the situation. Move on? Wait? Act in some way?

[ar1993]

A few things i have noticed.

The situation seems still uncertain, however it occurs to me that i'm often under his radar, he spots me with the tail of his eye in the distance without actually turning towards me.

He then moves, changes position in some way, sometimes walks in front of me, keeping his head up avoiding on purpuse eyecontact. He just seems suddenly on alert when he notices my presence. A few days ago i was walking up the stairs, he was coming down. I looked at him and he rigidly kept his head up avoiding again to look at me (certainly not the most natural movement to do, to look straight ahead without looking at your feet). However again, he carried out an opposite behaviour. I walked out of school, he wasn't there so i crossed the street and there he is coming out of nowhere right in front of me walking in the same direction. This lasted for about 30 seconds after which i decided to increase my pace and surpass him. As soon as i came beside him, he turned to look at me as if he new i was behind him. An intense moment.

I think that the bottom line is that a person usually looks at someone who is walking the stairs up and looking in your eyes, but does not pay attention to somone who is about to walk past him. Quite simplistic, but true. Do you agree?