jimbojTX91 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Hi all, I feel somewhat silly for posting this.. as I feel that I have put myself in the situation that has hurt me. The short story is I broke up with a girlfriend of a year nearly 6 months ago now, we parted on good terms and she moved out.. At the same time I met a girl at my work, it was totally unexpected, but things had finished with my ex and I wasn't hurt from the breakup so when it became clear we liked each other we started dating.. She had come out of quite a hurtful breakup about 4 months earlier, so things were quite slow going at first and to make matters worse she is quite closed off emotionally because of it and I feel quite resentful towards men in general, as she clearly would treat me that way sometimes, allowing me to do all the work while she could remain detached and aloof.. also punishing me for small things as if they were massive. But... I had a huge crush on her, which I believe developed into feelings of love over the past 5 months, I miss her terribly when she's gone and I get upset whenever she is sad, I also feel she has a lot of qualities that are perfect for me.. we laugh like I never have with a girl before and we have so much fun together when we hang out. So as you can see, even though things weren't perfect I still didn't want to let go of her in any way.. Anyway.. unfortunate timing as it was, my ex called me nearly two months into my new relationship to tell me that she was pregnant to me.. seems we had an accident before we broke up, the timings are bit fuzzy here but I know it's mine and I've accepted that she wants this child and will move interstate to raise it with her family (I will of course try to help her as much as I can). This of course put a massive rift in my current relationship, ..I told my new girlfriend right away.. It caused problems for weeks it was "will she walk away.." "will she stay...." , (not that this was a new theme in our relationship as I said she was cold and unemotional before) up in the air and no clue about what would happen. Eventually we moved forward and things seemed to be going well, I've treated my current girlfriend like a princess.. opened my heart up to her in every way, been so patient with her coldness and holding back emotionally and just opened up my arms to always welcome her and make her feel like the most important person in the world.. However, last week, my ex called who is moving interstate and asked if I could help her move some things and stay a few nights. I told my girlfriend that I'd said yes reluctantly because my ex had no other choice basically.. I had only the kindest intentions to help my pregnant ex, but I realise that I made the choice to let her stay before consulting my girlfriend to see how she felt about it.. (gf and I don't live together it's my place). We've spent the last 4 days talking/crying and reasoning with each other.. I understand that I hurt her by doing this, and she understands that I had only good intentions.. but again I seemed to have disappointed her. Right now she wants to have a "break", she is upset and confused and doesn't know what to do.. I have cried my bodyweight in tears but yet they keep coming and coming.. I feel so weak and so lost, like a shell of a person.. I keep thinking about my girlfriend and how sad and unhappy she is.. I keep thinking about the wonderful times we've shared.. but at the same time knowing that it's been a fight from the start and I am resentful that I feel like I've given so much/tried so hard for us, but she seems to only become emotional when she's upset with me.. not when she's happy with me. Sorry for the long post.. I know this is a complex situation, and from the small amount of details I am able to give I hope nobody will judge me poorly on what's happened.. I am just hurting like never before, feeling such awful loss and pain. Because I work with her she is in the office everyday, I have to go in tomorrow (monday), I know I can't concentrate at work with this.. I want to run away, I just don't want to go there, I know I will be close to tears all day.. Link to comment
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