Thanksgiving dinner invite ettiquette

[annony]

For those of you that don't know, Canadian Thanksgiving is on Monday.

I am cooking a dinner.

Last week I put out an open invite to all my friends saying that they are welcome to come, just make sure I know you're coming so that I can have the appropriate amount of food.

This went well, and I ended up getting 6 confirmed guests. So today I went out and got the groceries, I always plan on having about 2 or 3 more servings than I think I'm going to need, just in case.

Well good thing too, because no sooner did I get home than I get a text from a close friend that I thought was going to be out of town "casually mentioning" that they didn't have a place to go on Thanksgiving.

No problem, come on over, I have enough turkey!

Not two hours after that I get a text from my sister saying her original plans had changed, would it be too late for her and her boyfriend to come to my place?

No, not too late, but just about! Glad I got 3 extra servings worth of food, turns out I needed it!

So after all this is settled, I'm getting stressed out about portions, I can't return the turkey and get a bigger one, it's already started thawing. Oh well, let's hope I have just enough....

 

text from another confirmed party guest "Hey would it be alright if I bring so-and-so?"

I've never met or heard of so-and-so and this particular guest is already bringing a date... this will be two "dates" for that person.

I text back and say "Oh sorry! I have already bought the groceries, and *sister's name* and her bf just texted me and told me their plans changed, so it is already going to be tight"

So my friend texts me "Well maybe you should have told me you closed the invites then!"

 

I think that comment was uncalled for. I mean, really it takes a solid day for a turkey to thaw, and a lot of prep goes in to a thanksgiving dinner. It's not like it's wings and hockey night, I feel that this is short notice. There's no way I would have invited a stranger to a friends house like that, let alone to a turkey dinner knowing how much work goes into these things.

Should I have accepted my friends friend anyway? (keeping in mind this friend is already bringing someone!)

[ButterflyWrists]

Your friend was in the wrong. Although s/he might be feeling guilty, because they already invited their other friend, thus them being rude to you. It is still this friends problem, not yours.

[chitown9]

You were absolutely in your rights to turn down this extra person. I think that this individual who texted that message to you has no idea what is entailed in food preparation....

[squirl]

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

As the host, it is totally your prerogative when someone asks to bring an extra person. If you actually want a big crowd and the question is food, you can tell the late responders to bring a dish or more groceries. However it's totally understandable if what you really want is an intimate gathering of your friends (and +1s), then it would change the dynamic you wanted to create. Your friend should understand that. After all, your home is not a restaurant, and you're being gracious by hosting them. A plus one is pretty normal, but any more is really a favor.

 

Everything you did was fine. An extra option would be to add "kindly let me know by Friday if you can make it, as I will be shopping for groceries this weekend." But it's not necessary.

 

Your friend's comment was uncalled for.

 

Hope your dinner goes well

[catfeeder]

Rude enough to ask to bring a stranger last minute, even worse to snap at your response. Are you sure this is a friend you'd want to keep?

[annie24]

and don't you have a 1 bedroom apartment? that would be too tight of a squeeze for that many people. i agree - the friend's remark was uncalled for.

[indigoblue]

If that friend shows up, you're not obligated to show much warmth towards them. Don't invite them in the future Problem solved.