vel2011 Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 It's been 2 months since my ex gf broke up with me (2.5 yr relationship), and it was a very amicable, respectful BU. I read alot of people posting on here saying what they have changed since being dumped, and how they wish they had done these things whilst still in the relationship, and how they wish their ex could see the changes they've made. I've been NC for the whole time (she has intiated 3 times and we met last week). In this time I've changed alot of things (for myself, not her), but I realise alot of these things are a direct response to the BU. After analysing my relationship alot and why essentially she went from being in love with me to deciding I'm not the one (therefore losing attraction I guess), I realise that I wasn't entirely happy with me and that she was the source of the majority of what I loved in my life. I have since joined a gym and started working out (something my ex would have loved), reconnected with a lot of friends and started being more social and active (like I was before the relationship, as I had made my gf too much of a focal point of my life towards the end and become a bit lazy in organising things with friends), started reading more books, collecting and listening to more music, decided to learn a language, become a bit less worried about money, generally started being a bit more nonchalant about life in general and care-free / fun around people. My question is this... I like to think that I knew I needed to do these things towards the end of the relationship because I'd become a bit easy, needy, less of a challenge and less of the fun attractive guy I was when we got together. That naturally leads to regrets, and wishing you could tun back time. But does anyone else feel that the changes they've made since being dumped wouldn't have happened without the BU? And then feel massive frustration that you left it too late, didn't analyse all this and concentrate on yourself more when you thought you had and were comfortably in love with an amazing person. And do people think that if someone truly loves you, they wouldn't BU with you and would give you the chance to show you can go back to being the person they fell in love with, or is it just a sad fact of life that it's too late and they will never see that you realise where you should have done things differently and have learnt from the relationship? Link to comment
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