Marcy2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Hi, I am new to this so, "hello all." THE MEAT AND BONES: Met a guy at school. Everyday after a class we had he would find me and talk to me for about 45 minutes until he had his next class. This continues through an entire semester. It never dawns on me that he may like me in the slightest because we're just talking...he was going through some life things. Fast forward to the end of the semester. He says he wants to keep up with me and I think he's joking, until he decides to give me his teenage drawings from way back to ask my opinion. We meet up at a bookstore and chat all around that and other things. Since, then (and this has been a good 6 mos), there has not been a day when he hasn't texted me (I've only initiated texting him 4Xs in those 6 mos) or emailed me. We get along. Pretty swell. He's daring, but also hysterical and kind-hearted. I didn't know that I would eventually warm to him. SIDENOTES: He admitted as much to having a crush on my brain, but not the rest of me. Ha! I am an average sized woman, who is very happy with her looks, and he says this to me. Now, after months of him buying me books (we both love reading) and taking me to lunch and cooking for me (I've done the same- friends do that) he lays that out there. Then proceeds to take an ex-girlfriend to the fair and send pics to me. Jealous? No. A wee bit disappointed and a little hurt. Either he's a liar (and he's not attracted to me at all) or he's attracted to me and doesn't want to be or maybe, he does just consider me his FRIEND. He sensed that sending a pic of his girlfriend may have set me off a bit - not really, it kinda helped me see that maybe he's not the kind of guy for me after all - and has been texting me (damage control) since then. WHAT DOES HE WANT? Please let me know. I'm closing in on leaving because I blame myself for warming to him. What guy makes friends that quick with a strange girl and cooks and hangs out with her w/o something?!? He's sooooo not gay. He did jest though, that his friends were curious as to why we had not gotten closer. HELP. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 welcome to enotalone. It sounds like he wants to be friends, but not more. I agree that his actions are confusing, but since he's never tried to kiss you or take things further, I think it's just friends. Don't be surprised though, if you meet another man, or suddenly lose weight, if he can't live without you. Link to comment
Marcy2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Now, should either happen (because I was dating and so forth before him) what should I do? What would YOU do? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Now, should either happen (because I was dating and so forth before him) what should I do? What would YOU do? It depends! Do whatever you want to!! If, in the future, you are dating a new guy and this guy friend has finally come around, then you are in the nice position where you get to choose. I guess you will just have to see how you feel at that point. Link to comment
Marcy2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Thanks! I figured I'd just have to see where I was "at" should that moment come. (I think it's going to come, I've put it out to the Big Guy to let me keep on chuggin') What super sucks is that I enjoy being friends with guys because it allows me to let me guard down...what SUPER DUPER sucks is as this happens, I relax and here comes those damn feelings - and they usually pull away. I will just have to be a cold * * * * * and then, of course, I'll end up married with some kids and be happy. LOL Thanks again! Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 no problem - good luck, let us know what happens!! Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 i think... he may adore you for your personality but he's just not sexually attracted to you. he also sounds like he really likes your company and your attention. sending a pic of him and his ex was probably trying to get a different reaction from you to boost his ego too. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 I don't think he's been confusing at all. He's told you he loves your mind, and he is openly dating other women in front of you. I think he's clear he's just a friend. A good friend, mind you, but just a friend. Link to comment
Marcy2011 Posted October 12, 2011 Author Share Posted October 12, 2011 Cool. I have made a choice and I will appreciate and respect his friendship offer (nothing more) and move on with my own life. Haven't had a consistent male friend like this - almost ever - so this is why it's taken me for a loop! Link to comment
Marcy2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Author Share Posted October 16, 2011 The plot thickens (why?!?! lol) So, essentially, my new friend is really "attentive." I am getting used to that, but alas, he is the initiator of our communication. Why? Well, it is easier for me to pull myself out of him emotionally, when I'm not initiating contact. He tells me a few days ago that his sister likes me. Huh? Now, I only met her once and she was in back pain. Now it may sound like I say all of these things in vain, but I am not, I am trying to work it out inside of my head-- it's unusual. I went to his house to "hang out" and he's shirtless, playing his guitar. ooook. Even though he's had tats removed on his upper body, he could have worn at least, an altered shirt, because, I am, still "company", right? LOL This entire situation is just interesting. I enjoy all of my moments and decided to accept a date with another gentleman soon. I am curious about the future, but the fun is getting there... Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 16, 2011 Share Posted October 16, 2011 I got an e-mail from a guy 5 minutes ago. We've been friends for 15 years - we met in high school when he was an exchange student from europe. We've always been in contact - we used to write and IM near daily. He planned a trip to see me for 2 weeks when we were 21 (so, 10 years ago). I thought that of course, it meant he had a romantic interest in me, because who talks a girl daily and then plans an international trip to go and see her if he doesn't want to bone her?? i initiated some kissing, but he wasn't thrilled about it. he told me the next day he only likes me as a friend, and that he cares for me very much as a friend, but it's just friends. So, I was very hurt, but I accepted it. We're still friends today and he is married to a spectacular woman. So, I guess what I am saying is that it is possible for him to be friendly, initiate contact, do many things that are kind, but not have the desire to take it to the next level. Link to comment
Marcy2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 thanks. I hope I don't come off as a pest for still getting used to this situation - but I think you just nailed it for me. My emotional investment beyond friendship is almost totally gone now. Now, I can enjoy whatever this is. Regardless. =) Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 17, 2011 Share Posted October 17, 2011 no, you are not a pest! don't worry. just try to enjoy his friendship. but if you can't, it's ok to cut ties too. with my guy friend i talked about there, after he left, i told him i needed a few months to kind of 'heal' because i liked him and he didn't feel the same way. he was sad but agreed. then when i felt better, i resumed communication. Link to comment
Marcy2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Share Posted October 17, 2011 Nice. It is always good to have confirmation from someone else who's been there. I actually stopped turning me wheels last night, about all of it, after having read your email. Needless to say, I slept very well and did not wake up dreading some really wonderful/cute mixed signal text message from him (which makes it harder for me). Maybe I'm not supposed to be his girlfriend. Maybe I'm supposed to meet someone who's ready for me. I am. If it's not him, then ok. We're friends & I'm moving on. If it does get too hard, I have the gift of goodbye - either temporarily or permanently - no worries there! I cannot believe I didn't know about this place earlier. You guys are great!! Link to comment
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