GIGS Lovers?

[symbiot]

I found this site because of my breakup. I was searching the Internet looking for a way to get back together with my ex. I researched it relentlessly. I started NC. I started working on myself ( because I blamed myself for not being good enough for her). Man I went through it all. The begging/ crying,lost weight. I had tremors. Anxiety big time! Real thoughts of suicide. Almost lost friends. Gained weight. Kept reaching out. Thought she'd forget about me. Thought she'd never Roget about me. Bla bla bla..... My story is on here mostly under my post " what happened" . But it's also spread around here on various threads. You can pm me if you want more info, it's up to you. But the here's what I'm wondering: if you were/ are a victim of gigs or perhaps you are a perpetrator, after you have some time under you belt,do you still want them back? After all the work and realizations you've had would you take them back if they came back and apologized and promised you that they have changed. If they cried and begged? I'm 8 mos post BU and to be completely honest there is a small part of me that does want her back. Not much but the romantic part of me wants the movie scene: she comes back,tells me she has thought about me everyday all day long, she wants to do anything to prove herself and then she does and they lived happily ever after.I KNOW THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN,IT'S A FANTASY!

 

This thread is for everyone's gigs story not just mine.

[pl3asehelp]

No way man. No interest in someone who passed me up for any reason.

[symbiot]

Just for the record I'm almost healed but not fully, but it looks like you've been here for a while and I'm sure in two yrs I'll feel exactly the same as you.

[Carus]

I'm 2.5 years out....Yes I would consider taking her back....

 

Unfortunately she is still with Mr GIGS so that wont be happening.....

 

I guess sometimes the grass really IS greener over the fence....

 

Ever Forward

Carus* 8-)

[dabbledave]

Three months out and I would definitely consider taking her back if she were to profess her love and apologize for her mistakes.

 

However, there would be conditions:

 

I will not sacrifice the gains I have made since BU in order to do get her back. For example, there is no way I would return with her to her new country now that I'm back here and pursuing the internet start-up dream that I had dropped for her.

 

She would have to learn and understand how relationships go bad just as I have.

 

And after a relationship history of rebounding she would need time being a happy single. A year and a half would be ideal, though perhaps beyond her. In 19 months she finishes her contract there and will probably come back here rather than renew -- unless she finds herself a guy she wants to settle down with, of course.

 

DD

[symbiot]

I have made many improvements to myself as a man and for that I'm grateful. This experience has definitely made me a better man and not just for myself but for my next partner. I do still miss her though. Maybe I'm just lonely. But I'm not a youngling anymore either.

[Carus]

You're younger than me lol

[Stormcap]

I had a gf who came back after 1.5 years of GIGS. Before she did I thought that if she came back, I would consider it. And then one night, there it was, the movie scene, she was crying, telling me how much she missed me, asking me if I had thought about her and about us living together (what???). I honestly couldn't believe it. I was shocked. It had been 1.5 years and she had even travelled with her new bf abroad for like 5 months! At one point when she was telling me all this I thought, hmmm, maybe, but then I realized that she still had a bf while she was telling me all this so what happened was that all my ideas about her were proved right! You know, all that stuff we say about our ex's to make us feel better

 

We were in front of my house, and I could've invited her in and we would've probably had sex and all, but I decided not to. I politely shaked her hand while she stared at me like this I wished her a good night, and went into my house. A couple of days later she saw me down the street and she couldn't even look me in the eyes. I just said hello nicely and kept walking. So I guess what I am trying to say is that right now you may think that you would consider it, but sometimes the moment she tells you all the stuff you've been wanting to hear completely transforms you. Am I making any sense here?

[C_Unknown2005]

yes you are making sense.

[Thorshammer]

I cant take someone back, and they ALL came back. They never came back crying, they message me and catch up and they show interest in me again. At this point I precede to lead them on while I am on the other side yawning eating doritos. I warned all these women, "dont leave, this is FINAL, when you break up with me, its also me breaking up with you too! I will NEVER take you back, this is final. You are my love and the most beautiful when you are with me, once that connection is done, you will be just a fish in the sea."

 

I have gotten my little revenge when they came back and I feel no remorse, they are just single girls to me now and I am having fun. I dont look back and think about the love without thinking about the heartbreak too. So i owe them nothing, just like they didnt owe me to break up with me in a proper way (they all broke up with me in a mean way, bleh, city-girls!).

[dabbledave]

Am I making any sense here?

 

Lots of sense. That's the pay-off for moving on, isn't it? Choices

 

DD

[Stay_home]

I've had maybe one or two females who came back afterwards, no, I never got back together with them. Usually, I'm a one shot, one deal kind of guy. I don't like any back & forth, unstable, didn't know what I had, grass is greener, I'm too used to dealing with trash guys, kind of nonsense.

[AvonRepus]

I have a very addictive personality,mostly to men-well mostly to assholes. I will do everything for the person I am with and they know that better than anyone. I do forgive a lot, I put up with a lot of bs,I am willing to work on issues-pretty much I am not a quitter. So my husband for example thought that I will be always there for him. But I told him fair and square that I don't believe in on/off relationships,if he backs off,that's it for me.

So me dumping his sorry a$$ pretty much caught him off guard,he was very mean in the beginning,3 months later as some of you know-he came back,cried,got jealous,asked for my private life,etc...hints left and right about "us" moving in together ...And also it was amusing -he did not dare to beg,I was stone cold calm and had my "Oh come on" face on. Like I said before he was afraid of what I might say if he opens up and "pours " his heart out.

Better that way,3 days later I found out he had yet another crush that he was spending his free mornings with (the evenings he spent with me,trying to work on our good term ending).Huh.

 

This is the thing I don't get-Why would he persuade me for another chance and the whole time he is lying to my face that there's nobody else in his pathetic life?What's the point?

Later on when I caught up with her ( she had no idea what kind of person he was) and I cut him completely off my life he tried to get back together with her. He's just twisted like this.

Mental disorder maybe?

[Realitynut]

Immediately after bf dumped me, and I couldn't go anywhere without dissolving into a puddle of tears, I went and got gas and bawled my eyes out to the gas station guy. He had to get me a tissue!! Anyway... he told me he has been married 3 years now, but the girl that he dated, they broke up for a year, they both dated other people, then got back together, then dated other people...He said he wanted to MAKE sure, when he got married, it would be FOREVER. So He and she did date other people, then he decided there was no one better...so they are married.

 

So see, I don't know if they ever broke each others hearts, I was probably too busy crying to ask...but it sounded as if maybe it was a mutual decision...dk...

[Stormcap]

Immediately after bf dumped me, and I couldn't go anywhere without dissolving into a puddle of tears, I went and got gas and bawled my eyes out to the gas station guy. He had to get me a tissue!! Anyway... he told me he has been married 3 years now, but the girl that he dated, they broke up for a year, they both dated other people, then got back together, then dated other people...He said he wanted to MAKE sure, when he got married, it would be FOREVER. So He and she did date other people, then he decided there was no one better...so they are married.

 

So see, I don't know if they ever broke each others hearts, I was probably too busy crying to ask...but it sounded as if maybe it was a mutual decision...dk...

 

Yeah, my parents did that also. They went out for like 2 years, then BU for a year, didn't see nor talk to each other at all (remember, back in the old days there was no Internet and stuff), and then got back together. My mom says she didn't date anyone during that year, and my dad says the same, although we don't believe him LOL!!! We're pretty sure he dated someone else during that year because he always has this fake surprised look in his face when we ask him, then he tries not to laugh but you can totally tell he wants to, and then he goes like this [-X haha! But my mom doesn't care and they've been married for 40 years...