Did he leave me for someone else??

[Laylan]

So i was with this guy for 2.5yrs we loved each other, long distance. Our relationship was really good, we didn't have any problems except for the fact that i was ready for marriage and kids and he wasn't. I knew he was always held back a little bit but he always told me he wanted to get married and have kids with me. Well when it came down to actually getting engaged he said he wasn't ready and broke up with me. Told me he wanted me to get married and be happy because he didn't know when he wanted to get married and didn't want to hold me back any longer.

 

So what makes me thing he left me for someone else?

 

I was out of the country for a month. Everything was ok before i left, we were talking and everything was great, we had planned on getting engaged as soon as i got home. The break up wasn't crazy, i said some mean things, like i hate you for doing this to me and how could you, blah blah blah, than we talked for 2 weeks after we were broken up than I went NC. Its been almost 6months of total NC. He never even sent me a text.

 

Now i'm wondering if he really left me for someone else??

 

Any thoughts??

[symbiot]

I don't know your story. How old is he. Was he acting more distant towards the end?

[Laylan]

He is 28 and i'm 26. He wasn't acting distant. He had been working out and that took over. He is very smart and educated. He started to act like the way his body looked was everything. Thats the only distance i know of. We were happy up until i left the country and even while i was away i was talking to him online almost everyday. The only thing i can say i felt was that his ego got big and maybe felt like there was more out there for him than me??

[symbiot]

Deciding to leave a thriving relationship while someone is gone for just one month is not normal behavior. Absence make the heart grow fonder. He could have meet someone. I totally understand the feeling that you need answers, that you need the truth, but you should be careful of what you wish for. If you find that he did leave you for another it will hurt so much more and it will leave you with feelings of low self worth and the need for more answers. Every question answered leaves another to be asked.

[Laylan]

You are so right. I hate that after almost 6 months i'm still asking myself these questions. Sometimes i feel fine and i feel like i could care less and than at other times i just would wanna know but like you said knowing would only make it worse.

 

thank you symbiot!!

[In The Cold]

Not knowing the "real" reason is something I have been struggling with as well. Like symbiot said though, even if you did talk and found out the "real reason", you would still have more questions after that. You gotta figure - what are you planning to hear from him? Is it really going to make you feel better? Probably not right. If you have to ask yourself "Should I do this?" then the answer is "NO! No you shouldn't".

 

So I would say do NOT contact.

 

If you get to a point when you can tell yourself - its completely over, they can tell me anything and it would not have the slightest effect on me, maybe then you can try and seek closure...but by that point - you shouldn't need it

[Laylan]

Thank you In The Cold.

 

I will not contact him, since the last time we've talked i've promised myself that i woudln't. That is one thing i can stick to. Questions don't go away. Sometimes i wish i knew and sometimes i'm glad i don't know. I just know that i hate all this. I am so much better than i was a few months back. I am just over the 6 month mark of NC. I feel fine, i don't feel like i need him or have to have him to live. I am doing so much better. Its just that everytime i try to move a little further along something stupid comes up that kinda sets me back.

 

Thanks for everyones responses!!