gluestick Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I think it's safe to say that most dumpees tend to take more, if not, all of the blame post BU. I know I did a little over a month ago when my ex broke up with me. Last night, I even re-read my gchat conversation with the ex immediately following the BU, trying to understand why he gave up and what changed. The realization hit me that I took full blame for the BU, how pathetic and self-loathing I sounded, and knowing I pretty much gave him the biggest ego boost ever. I still remember the last contact we had was when I went over to his house to let him know I needed NC and that it might take years before I can reconnect with him as friends. Guess what he said to me? That he felt I sort of took him for granted and that his ex (the only other serious relationship he had) told him she always regretted dumping him and that it was the biggest mistake of her life. I hope, for his sake, that at the end of the day, it takes two to make a relationship work and a BU is never one person's fault. I know I am thankful for this experience will give me so much room to grow, mature, and learn from my mistakes to be better applied to my future relationships. Do you think it's always 50/50 blame for both parties for any failed relationship? Or do you think either yourself or him/her contributed more to the demise of your relationship(s)? In my case, I think I don't think it was 50/50. I feel I contributed more to my BU, so more along the lines of 60/40. Link to comment
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