JacsRocksSoMuc Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Hello anyone reading this thread I'm new here, in fact I've never once joined a forum before in my entire interweb life. I'm looking for comfort I suppose... I'm 27 years old, I am a big girl, but I am by no means unattractive. I take care of myself and my look... yes, I like to show off my cleavage, why? Because it's simple, most cute shirts show off the tata's. Does that make me a floozy? No... Truth be told I'm a 27 year old virgin. I am extremely cautious with who I let into my life, and I take good care...no great care of those who I do let in. Recently, I've been on a dating website, it's opened me up a lot, and I've gone out with many different men. The most recent guy I fell extremely hard for. We spoke every day for nearly 5-6 months, we webcammed as well, we also met up in person as often as we could. I almost slept with him, luckily he did not have a condom and I did not go through with it. After dating for a few months it became evident he had no intention on ever making me his girlfriend. I called it off, told him we should just be friends. He was upset over it, but continued to call me daily and talk.... I couldn't take it anymore and I asked him to stop calling me for a while before I hated him... three days later he's in a relationship with another girl... this hurt me in more ways than I ever thought possible. I suddenly felt like a piece of crap... i did everything I could for him, I comforted him when he was feeling down, I went out of my way to make him happy, I was always there for him, I never gave him crap about not being able to do something etc... I was the most understanding person alive... and even throughout last week he had mentioned how wonderful he still thought I was and how he hoped it worked out for us in the future.... so... apparently the future changes within a few days and I'm not good enough to make your girlfriend but someone else is... I just can't describe how hurt I am right now... I've never felt this way. No I didn't love him... but the potential was there, and I suppose on some level I did love him. So I started looking back at all my past dating relationships. They are all the same... guys date me for a few months, say they want more, say they care so much about me, and then they find another girl within an instance. I'm very sweet and affectionate, but I'm not crazy either... I give people their space, I'm probably one of the most unclingy people ever. I hate conflict and avoid it at all costs. But tonight something came over me... I stood up for myself. I sent this guy a message and I told him I was happy for him and that everything made sense now... he was simply using me until this girl came to her senses. That's fine, I just wished he were honest... I also asked him to tell me what was wrong with me? What was so bad about me to make no guy ever want to be with me? I've never thought something was wrong with me before... Not until this time around. I'm a 27 year old who has never had a boyfriend... Each and every time a guy does this to me, it cuts a little deeper, hurts a little more and closes me off for lengthy periods at a time... You'd think I'd learn my lesson by now... but I haven't... I keep hoping that there's someone out there for me... The worst of it is... I didn't go looking for this guy... he kind of just popped up... So... my question is... Is this really all that there is left to my life? Dating guys casually, never having anything meaningful? I dont' want the only good thing in my life to be my job... Is being single the rest of my life really so inconceivable? It hurts when someone is careless with your heart and feelings... but it hurts when the only person you have is yourself too... I don't know what to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.