My first post need advise.

[Tfb43]

Ok, here it goes. I met my ex in Aug 08. It started as dating nothing serious. She was looking to move soon for a new job so attachments were not what she was looking for. Not long things changed we both fell in love. She moved accross 3 states for her new job. I waited 6 months to make sure we were going to work. I moved there. We had our ups and downs because we had never lived with anyone else. But, for the most part it was good. We had one fight while we were living together. She overreacted(her words) and kicked me out. When we met she said when she makes a decision it final. I didn't argue i just left. A few weeks later we worked it out and realized it was lack of communication. I kept my place just incase something else happened. But, it was good again. I stayed with her most of the time. Then her father died and there was a chance for her to be close to her family that was on the other side of the nation. I supported her 100% and told her she should try for that job. She asked how we would handle it. I told her to do it and I will work here until i find a job out there. She got the job in aug 10. and moved. It was really hard to let her go out there. We would be together now if i told her to stay or I moved with her. Fast forward to july 11 I get the breakup call. Nothing I could do because we were so far away. She said it was her not me, she wasn't happy. OK. I make a trip to see her in Aug. It was really stressful at first but it seemed that we still had feelings for each other. I asked if I could come back and visit more often. YES. Two weeks later she had some days off and an ex boyfriend flew out to see her. We know what happened. I couldn't say anything because we were broken up. SO , i went out too. Didn't make a difference to me I was still in love with her. So I asked to come visit, she was hesitant at first, but agreed. So I go out there and she has a guy that was a friend staying in a camper doing work at the forrest she was at. No problem she joked that he though he was going to get laid. She said but i was going to be there(joking). I found it awkward. We were sleeping in the same bed and we know what happened. I was not feeling right because she really wanted to be with the other guy. She said she wasn't going to and for me to stop worrying about it. Ok we go out and have dinner with her friend. I was not feeling well so I went back to her place. They show up and she standing in the door way and said I going to sleep in the trailer tonight. She walked out there, I followed and she began to flip out. Saying the meanest things I have ever heard. She didn't like me physically, mentally, or emotionally and wanted me out now! at 11:00 at night. So I left and have been sick over this. I felt this was a chance for us to reconnect. Why can't i get over this?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am so sorry. Is the person in the camper a different one from the ex boyfriend? Sounds to me like she dumped you in order to be able to have sex with whomever and however many people she wanted. There is no chance for re-connecting with someone who wants to run around and sleep with other people. It sounds like she has always been flighty even right from the beginning of your relationship. I think you are better off without her.

[Tfb43]

You are right... Im really bummed I let myself into this at all. I was happy being lied too? How in the hell did it even get that far? It is just painful. I keep looking for answers that lead to me being happy and it will never happen with her.

[Tfb43]

I just found out that the guy in the trailer is staying till monday. He was going to leave the day after i was kicked out. That just eats at me. How could I have not seen this personality in the three years we were together? Now the monster is alive? I feel like jumping off the tallest bridge. This pain is more painful that physical paid ever could be.

[Tfb43]

He is getting the weekend I had planned with her a month ago. And i had bought tickets to a hockey game that she loves. She had the nerve to text my friend and tell him i was headed his way and she was sorry. Now the sorry wasn't for me. the sorry was for me having to come back to there place to stay. How dirty is that?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

As painful as it is now for being duped like this, don't think that he is getting the weekend you had planned with her. Think that he is getting the loser you used to have. You are well out of it now..good riddance to bad rubbish. Very likely it is more the pain of being duped rather than the pain of losing her that is getting to you more. Betrayal is harder to get over than the person themself.

[Tfb43]

As painful as it is now for being duped like this, don't think that he is getting the weekend you had planned with her. Think that he is getting the loser you used to have. You are well out of it now..good riddance to bad rubbish. Very likely it is more the pain of being duped rather than the pain of losing her that is getting to you more. Betrayal is harder to get over than the person themself.

Betrayal is what I am upset about the most. Its that feeling in my chest that won't go away. It was strange how she was intimate with me then flip flop to be with him. I have made a choice to never be second again. I will walk away before i am second. I have never been a selfish person, I think I am going to be for a little bit. I am going to only worry about myself and what is best for me. Thank you so much.