Meeting up with Ex any advice

[jdisorder]

Hi, well I posted here a while back. My ex lives in Malmo Sweden and I live in London. I am going to sweden for work and I am going to meet up with my ex. She has only agreed to it because she will be able to give me back some of my stuff. We finished on ok terms, but slowly she has become more and more distant and now she doesn't even think we can be friends. Thing is, yes I tried to win her back, but now I'm more about just being friends. It makes more sense to be friends but she has gone from wanting to stay in contact to not wanting to talk to me at all. My ex said she didn't want to see me (we broke up in July). But as she has a bag of my stuff she has reluctantly agreed to meet me for a quick drink when I'm in town. Everyone says she is being a bit childish, as the only thing I think I've done which has annoyed her (since the split) is come back to Malmo. I just want to fix our friendship now. Any tips, how should I play it? I'm sure if you calms down she'll see we can still be friends... The distance has been hard to say sorry, on my part, without seeming like I'm still wanting to get back with her. I just miss chatting about stuff we like...

[Eocsor]

Well, play it very cool and don't try and force anything. If you come on too strong you'll just alienate her further.

 

You may have to let the idea of friendship go until more time has passed. Things may still be too raw for that right now. Nothing says you can't try again in the future.

[robintoronto]

Let her speak most of the time. Actively listen to her (link below), let her feel like you heard her. You must end the night with her feeling like she has been heard and feeling good about the meeting.

 

The more she talks the better it will be for you.

 

link removed

[april15]

Get your bag of stuff, thank her for meeting you and say you are sorry for how things ended, wish her luck going forward, and leave. Anything more and you are trying to force the issue and will end up further apart. It is great you can feel good about her. You cannot force her to have the same feelings, don't try

[EgoJoe]

You might be telling the truth and I think you probably are yet I must stress that I don't want you to live in denial!