rbsx Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I'm not asking this question because of any one specific relationship that I've been in, suffice to say this is something that I've observed in many of the girls that I've dated and I'm curious as to how you girls do it. I just don't get it. For the past year I've been tussling with one of my exs, the same one who hates me, yet says I'm the most attractive man in the world. The one who says she'll always pick up my call, then never returns it. The same one who says she misses the fun we have had together, isn't over me, but doesn't care to get off her butt to come and visit. The same one who wants to travel with me, spend time with my family, or sends me texts wishes that I was around to spend time with, or reminisce about trips that we took but doesn't ever put any effort into anything. The same girls who will say "Do whatever you want" but that's actually code word for "You know what I want and you better do exactly that". The worst of course being "I wish we could do that again!" -- well.. why aren't we? Girls generally don't have an answer for that. Actually the worst would be saying "No I miss you but I can't visit you!" Only to see her take a trip to visit someone else at the last minute a week later. I've spent many a phone call with teary eyed girls telling me that they miss me, and all that * * * * and then at the end they're like.. we're friends right? ? After all the tears, you want to be my friend? No thanks. As men this simply doesn't make sense, as an economist we'd say that we have unlimited wants and we are forced to make choices due to limited resources (in this case, the limit of our resource is how much we invest in things). From my point of view, I'd love to have some of these girls as a part of my life. The problem is, I can't have one foot in the 'relationship' life and one foot on the 'friendship' life. It just doesn't work that way, not to mention it's just not possible. I don't understand how girls justify such dissonance between words, and actions, and fundamental disconnects between what they expect versus what is reasonable given what has been invested. Maybe girls do want both. Maybe some girls are scared of real commitment. Maybe some girls are bitter. Maybe some girls care but don't know how to express it. I don't know, but this is hard to process. Link to comment
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