my girlfriend commands too much of my time

[Cmaj7th]

I cant believe this is the case in a LDR. My girlfriend lives five hours away from me and we spend a night or two together every few weeks. Since we dont see each other often a large portion of our relationship is talking on the phone and text messages. Every night we talk on the phone for over an hour but usually around two or three. When I come home from work late I cant just practice my guitar or curl up with a book she always wants to talk!!!! She's good conversation but I need some time to just relax!

 

She also is a texting maniac and gets upset when I dont respond instantly. I told her texting to me isnt instant messenger and Im not going to drop what Im doing or be rude to who I am talking to in person to respond to a text. She has even sent an angry text for me not responding to one she had only sent five minutes prior!

 

Today I woke up and realized my phone was broken. It was my day off and I did some yard work, worked out, played my guitar for a bit, then went to the store and bought a new phone. She then proceeded into getting super mad because I didnt run to get a new phone the minute I woke up! "you dont think about me at all, youd rather do random stuff than talk to me!"

 

She is too high maintenance and I've brought it up several times. She'll get upset for a minute then quickly change the subject. What can I do about this? Am I inattentive like she says or is she too demanding?

[Fudgie]

I would not let her change the subject. You need to stress with her that this is a definite issue and you feel that you guys need to work on this or the relationship will suffer because you feel smothered and unable to chill...you don't deal with CONSTANT instant communication all the time. She needs to hear this and you guys need to talk about this. If she gets huffy and storms off, bring it up again when she comes back. Don't let the issue slide until she has the convo with you.

 

How long have you been together?

[chitown9]

Yes, she is too demanding of your time She seems to be incredibly insecure...chi

[Capricorn3]

Give a specific time slot where it would be convenient for texting. In other words, when you are at work, she must NOT text. You are busy at certain times of the day/night and it's just not convenient and will not be able to drop everything to reply to her. She needs to understand this. Set aside time daily for yourself to chill out and play your guitar or read etc and this will also be a time that she should not be calling/texting. I would also only talk on the phone every second day, instead of every single day. That way, you will also have more time to yourself.

 

If she doesn't get it after you have told her this time and again, then you may have to rethink the relationship.

[bulletproof]

How is it that she has time to talk for hours and text whenever she feels like it? Does she work? Have friends? Hobbies?

 

If I were you I'd tell her that the arguments about this are unacceptable.

[DN]

we spend a night or two together every few weeks.

She has even sent an angry text for me not responding to one she had only sent five minutes prior!

What keeps you in this relationship?

[MyNinja]

I think she's using the constant communication as a means to "check up" on you. Considering this is a LDR she may feel very insecure in wondering what you're doing when you're NOT talking with her.

 

I'd have a serious headache dealing with this.

 

Good luck though. Hopefully she calms down a bit.

 

Until we meet again...

[blueidealist24]

She is too demanding. I've been named as too clingy for much less than this.