chr8st8na Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I ask him questions bout his 11 yr old daughter and he shows me pictures of her when he takes new pictures of her, so it's not like we are taking her out of the equation. Its just that I know there's no guidelines set for a single parent to introduce their kid to their Significant Other, so I just never asked out of respect. However my friends think its strange that I haven't asked or even alluded to him if I can meet her since we've been dating for five and half months. Some of them think that he might start to think I'm not serious about him; and some of them think that I am letting him get away with not introducing me to his daughter ?? They all agree that they don't understand why it doesn't bother me that he hasn't introduced me to his grown child. Am I missing something here?? Because every time I felt like I needed to have a talk with him (which has happened twice) about our relationship, he always assumed that it was about meeting his daughter or putting his daughter before me that I had issues with. However it was his smoking and his crankiness that was the talking points (haha) I know it's usually the Significant Other that wonders why their partner hasn't introduce them to their kids, but I just don't have that worry. My friends say I am being way too lax with him. They have me wondering if there will be consequences/repercussions to me waiting for him to introduce us on his terms. Feedbacks please? Oh yea, my friends tend to be very distrustful of men in general (haha) Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I think it's actually smart that he's not introducing his kids to every woman he dates! 5 months is still relatively early on. I think he should introduce you when you two start talking marriage. whenever that may be...? Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Smart guy. I agree with annie. 5 mos is still quite early. Parents really shouldn't introduce their children to their SOs unless it's VERY serious. Children are sensitive and will suffer if they get attached to a girlfriend too early and then it doesn't work out and they miss them. I can't blame him for waiting. He probably doesn't want her to go through that, in case you guys don't work out. Link to comment
Princess123 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 You don't want the kids to meet every tom, deick, and harry! As they say. Link to comment
CatsMeeoow Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I was very serious with a guy - first real guy I dated in years as I was a busy single mom of a baby but at 4 I finally had more time for a personal life. I did introduce him to my son and I met his. Things were great. We talked about marriage. But, we hit a bump in the road when he ran into personal problems and the relationship died... My son was heartbroken at never seeing this guy and even more than 1 1/2 yr later would randomly bring up that X would make a great step dad and how he wanted a step dad for X-mas... sigh... but that's kids for you. That broke my heart big time. So the next guy I dated on and off for a couple of years I never introduced to my son and went so far as bumping into him and his kids at the store and walked away (with my son) like I didn't know him... sigh... that was bad too! I think your guy is smart - kids get attached plain and simple. How long has he been divorced? Maybe he isn't ready for his daughter to see him move on from her mother yet? But, at over 5months maybe its time to talk to this guy and see what his plans are for when he wants to introduce someone to his daughter? Good Luck Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I think this is a good thing. My friend has been casually dating a woman for 2 months. He's been talking to me about the reservations he had about their compatibility. He also told me that they talked about not meeting her daughter for quite some time. Somehow, that changed, she now calls him Daddy after two meetings(!!!), and he's got even more reservations about their dating relationship. It's just not a good situation at all. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 When you're engaged is a good time to meet her. Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted October 8, 2011 Author Share Posted October 8, 2011 well i agree. he's a great dad so i know he's not going to introduce her to just any lady. you have to melt his heart to be honored with the presence of his princess. our relationship is still new and i really would like to give it a year before deciding if i want anything serious with him. he's been thru a lot and so have i, so i feel like we just need to take small steps. BUT just to be honest, i think because i am starting to like him (like a lot) i would be happily surprise and flattered if he asked me to meet his daughter. why? because she's the center of his world and i really think it's because of her, he hasn't gone off the edge of some cliff. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Sounds like a good guy. Relationship is still very new so I wouldn't be expecting to meet her for quite a while but that's okay. You have time! Link to comment
Mesemene Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 I agree with the consensus - sounds like a good dad who wants to make sure you guys are going to be together awhile before letting her grow attached to you. 11 yrs is a vulnerable age - and you'd not want her to feel badly if things didn't work out between the two adults. I would continue to show interest in her, provided it's genuine - from what you've said he's expecting it to be a sticking point. I might go so far as to bring up that you admire him for protecting his daughter so she's not at risk of getting hurt, to make sure he's on the same page. Link to comment
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