Forget Myself Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 3 weeks ago my ex called me to apologize for treating me bad, i said thanks for the apology and then we small talked a bit and then she got flustered and hung up. Last night I called and left a voicemail saying I was thinking about her and that it would be nice to catch up sometime and I hope she is doing well. I got a response at 1am saying "I'm sorry for everything I put you through. But I don't want to see you. I'd appreciate it if you didn't contact me. I'll have the 300 dollars I borrowed from you soon and I'll get your address from you then." To me it appears she is mad at me, I don't know why. It's almost like the role is reversed here and she is feeling like the dumpee and I the dumper. She was the one who wanted a break, to break up and was seeing other men. I initiated no contact the next day and we haven't been in contact since. We never even talked about what happened. We had plans to move in together into a new apartment one day and she was saying how much she cares for me. And now we are here. Can anyone give some insight? Perhaps she wanted me to show her how much I wanted her and instead I pushed her away? Should I tell her I miss her and that the door is open for me? I do want to get back with her someday, I don't think it will be now by the looks of it, but I really am feeling like this was my fault now, and I don't even know why I feel that way. I was so certain her taking a break meant there was someone else in the picture. Could she really just have needed space? I was doing so well about healing myself, and now I am confused. It appears she is not on the same page about what happened, is it possible she could feel like the one who was dumped? If so, why would she feel that way? And should I reach out? A girl at my work was saying sometimes girls will say the opposite, when they really just want you to chase them and show you care. Could this be the case about our break up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDRohnos Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Not at all. She wanted the breakup and she still does. She called you for her own selfish reasons...she feels guilty for hurting you and wanted tell you that she's sorry for her own peace of mind/closure. I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but that's exactly what's happening here. She wants nothing to do with the relationship you guys had anymore. Do not reach out to her, she's gone. It's time to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stand Strong Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 If she you dumped you, she's the one who has to come back for you. It's best to move on. Avoid spinning webs and scenarios in your head. It's a waste of time and energy. Focus on seeing everything as it is. Meet new girls and just have fun. If she wants you, she knows where to find you. Maybe you won't still be single though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calichick007 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 You absolutely should not contact her. She could not have been more clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget Myself Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 I was doing fine, and still am, I don't want to confuse anyone about that. I don't think I would have even contacted her, but there is this new girl at work and she was asking me about it and giving me advice and perspective and she said she probably is confused and misses me and I should call. She practically took my phone and called herself. She was just trying to be nice and help me reach out if that was what needed to be done. She says I definitely shouldn't contact her again, but at least she knows now where I stand and who knows maybe she will come around someday. I'm not pinning on her or waiting around. It just made me think of things differently I guess and now I am wondering why she could feel that way about me. And if she really was over it she would just be casual and not make a big deal about things. Based on her kind of extreme reaction I would say she still has harbored feelings towards me, of some kind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calichick007 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Wait... I just saw your posts in another thread. She dumped you to see other men, then contacted you to say she manipulated and used you, and that you meant nothing to her? I definitely don't think she's hurt or feeling dumped. I think she is a cold person and just has no further use for you. I don't even know you, but I'm 100% positive you could do better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget Myself Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Wait... I just saw your posts in another thread. She dumped you to see other men, then contacted you to say she manipulated and used you, and that you meant nothing to her? I definitely don't think she's hurt or feeling dumped. I think she is a cold person and just has no further use for you. I don't even know you, but I'm 100% positive you could do better. It sounds so simple when you say it like that, but when I think about it, it's so complicated. I often wonder why it is so hard for me to take the same advice I give other people. I have an inability to see my own problems in the same light that I see everyone else's. I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt, excuses for her actions, and believe that I might just be interpreting them wrong. But in reality, that is the real truth, and I have been given no reason to believe otherwise. I think the last two and a half months I have been fooling myself to believe I was moving on. I don't think it really started until I got that message yesterday. I don't feel crushed like before by any means, but a definite change took place within me somewhere when I read that. I guess in reality I just didn't want to move on. I just really wanted to give myself to one person, and I was so sure she would come back. I honestly can say I'm not interested in dating at all. I'm so tired of dating, I have an incredible lack of interest in most women I meet. I just want to be working towards something for once, that vintage love. I really gave it a good try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 It's hard for you to see it clearly due to emotional attachment and all the vagaries of perception that stems from your knowledge of every little thing that happened. Time and space will provide clarity.I promise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget Myself Posted October 8, 2011 Author Share Posted October 8, 2011 She lives an hour away from me and I just found out she got a second job TWO BLOCKS from my house. At the place where we first met that I used to work at a couple years ago. Why on earth would she do that??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanaa Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 She lives an hour away from me and I just found out she got a second job TWO BLOCKS from my house. At the place where we first met that I used to work at a couple years ago. Why on earth would she do that??? would she say no to a job just because she met you there and you happen to live near? come on now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget Myself Posted October 8, 2011 Author Share Posted October 8, 2011 an hour from her house? and she doesn't need it, she already has a good paying first job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Byron1979 Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 an hour from her house? and she doesn't need it, she already has a good paying first job I wouldn't worry about it, honestly. I wouldn't worry about what her motives are. Just live your life. Don't contact her. Don't go out of your way to see her at this 2nd job. Just do your thing. Don't preoccupy yourself with what her motives may or may not be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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