Cried over a bagel this morning, think it's time to admit I'm burnt out.

[annony]

I had a meltdown this morning because I had been up at the crack of dawn with my kids after having worked until 1am last night.

My son loves to eat, he's two, he's growing, and he's discovered how wonderful flavour is.

I made the kids oatmeal for breakfast, and sat with my son helping him eat, all while my tummy was growling.

I had turned on my coffee maker in hopes of having coffee by the time I was done feeding my toddler, but in my tired zombie mind, I forgot to put the grounds in, so when I went to pour a cup, I had only hot water. I reset the machine and moved on to cleaning up the oatmeal shrapnel that my son had strewn all over the dining room.

I finished cleaning up, while nagging my daughter to get herself dressed, and texting my bf reminding him that it's his close friends birthday.

Finnaly, coffee?

No, I return to the smell of burning and an empty pot. Crap, forgot the water this time. I coach myself to remain calm as I pour the water into the machine getting ready for Mama vs. Coffee round three.

This time while waiting for hopefully coffee, I run around the house cleaning up kid debris and trying to find all the components of my daughters uniform for her impending dance lesson. Turns out, neither she nor I can locate her bag. I refrain from taking out my frustrations on her (REALLY! HOW CAN YOU LOSE YOUR DANCE BAG? WHY WOULD YOU HIDE SUCH A THING?) and search any and every unlikely place for her gear, eventually finding it in the bathroom cupboard. (WHY? HOW DID IT GET THERE?)

Now, finally, coffee? YES!!! The coffee is ready, but I can no longer ignore the fact that I am starving.

Since having my son, I have not eaten regular meals. Sometimes the first meal of the day is at 8pm after he's gone to bed. I know this is wrong, but when I find myself stretched too thin, my own needs are the first one's I cut. Yesterday, a need I cut was my dinner. I go for something quick, because soon we have to pile on the bus and go to dance, and because I want to eat it before my son sees me.

I grab a bagel, I'm not even going to toast it, I'm just going to slap some cream cheese on it and eat it as fast as possible.

I made too much noise in cutting the bagel. My son heard me and came to see the fact that I had food. He wants it. This is the last bagel. I tell him "No baby, Mama gets this, you already ate breakfast, Mama's hungry." He frantically reaches for the bagel with tears in his eyes. I try and turn my back and not look at him as I spread my cream cheese, but his teary eye'd stare is shooting guilt beams in the back of my head. I cave in and give him half my bagel.

I scarf my remaining half as fast as I can, but I realize I'm still starving. My son however, is not starving. He's now too full, but at least he's happy. He spins around in circles in excited delight, getting dizzy and.....vomiting.

I start to cry. I'm hungry, I gave up my food for my son who just ralphed it up all over the floor.

My daughter comes in and takes one look at me, and the puke, and her brother who is laughing hysterically. She asks what's going on.

My response.... "Mommy really wanted to eat her whole bagel."

 

I have a blind toddler, as well as an active busy daughter, and my own business. I am sleep deprived and malnourished. My mental state has gotten to the point where I'm having meltdowns over bagels. Someone save me?

[guynextdoor]

You are an awesome mom. Let me buy you a cream cheese bagel and coffee. Hang in there, I feel your pain.

[WindowTo]

Remember, when you get burnt out, you will suffer and so will your kids! Look for help wherever you can! Family, friends, nannies, babysitters, 2 babysitters! Schedule time for yourself even if you have to pay someone to look out for the kids or take care of your business for a bit. Don't feel selfish about taking care of yourself because your mental state is very important to your kids' well being as well as your own!

[lavenderdove]

OK, remember, you're the Mom here and you don't have to give your son a bagel just because he wants one... if you give in to guilt or whatever, you'll have no control over them at all by the time they're teenagers.

 

It is time to get tough and remember your kids won't do well if you are not healthy... so SLOW DOWN and set up a schedule and start following it. Feeding yourself IS a top priority, and if your daughter misses a dancing lesson because she lost her bag, so what!! And if she misses that lesson, then next time she'll be more careful and keep track of her bag. And if your son gets annoyed because you don't let him stuff himself when he's already had breakfast, SO WHAT!!! You kind of brought that on by indulging him when his stomach was already full and he didnt' need that bagel and you did...

 

Of course Mommy can eat her whole bagel.. in fact, she can eat the whole bag if she wants... don't let your kids run your life, you run theirs... never forget that! Don't think that your job is to wait on your kids and do everything for them, or give them everything they want just because they ask for it. You'll raise selfish and screwed up kids if you continue like this... Start prioritizing your life, and you'll gain control over it again. You are a top priority because you are the Mom and need to be stable, healthy, happy and grounded to be a good mom. Take time for yourself and to do the things you need for yourself, and don't overspoil them or let their every whim rule your life.

[pl3asehelp]

I sympathize - this sounds like my everyday. My wife and I have a 3 yr old and a 1.5 year old and no family around to ever give us a break. Unrelenting. Just know you're not alone.

[Seraphim]

You can not look after your kids if you yourself are not healthy. I totally understand the need to give all to your kids and sacrifice but the hard truth is it will put you in an early grave. A 2 year old eating just oatmeal for breakfast is TOTALLY adequate. He wanted what you had because toddlers are by nature greedy, they want EVERYTHING someone else has. He ate he was fine. You can not think or even operate properly without food. Stop doing that to yourself.

[luminousone]

Sometimes we have those days, don't we! Just remember that as they get older it gets easier in many ways. In the meantime you really do need to take care of yourself - and that is so important so that you can function better as a mom!

 

One thing - make sure you eat together as a family as much as you can. Let your 2 year old feed himself - give him finger foods, and also his own spoon for his oatmeal.

 

If you eat with them, they will learn healthy eating habits and will associate eating with family time. And they will also observe you taking care of yourself, which is very important for them to learn!

 

Try to get as much sleep as you can. I know, I know, easier said than done...

 

Having a child that is 2 is difficult, but you have to remember that it is normal for them to go through those temper tantrums if they want something. You will only make life harder for you and your son if you give in to them! So if he demands your bagel or your meal, he will learn if you stand your ground and tell him that it is your bagel and not his.

 

It does mean you will have to live through some temper tantrums, but if you give in now then they will only continue! My nephew still throws temper tantrums at age 12 because he spends every weekend at his grandparents and they always give in when he throws a fit! Ugh. And so now he has no friends, family members avoid him, and he has great difficulty in school.

 

So hopefully you will get more sleep tonight, and you will not skip meals anymore (otherwise you are operating on low blood sugar).

 

Give lots of love to yourself and to your sweet children...

[Jetta]

I really just skimmed your message.

 

Do you have a timer on your coffee pot so you can set it the night before? That was one thing is done when you're half asleep. Sorry about your stress, but lack of nutrients is not helping you. Make time to eat.

[annony]

He is blind, he can't feed himself. We're working on it, which is why there's always such an oatmeal mess.

Just one of those days. I have been running on empty for far too long. I really need help, I do this all by myself without the support of family or friends. I'd really like one day a week, or even every couple of weeks where I don't have them so I can get other things done.

If I was able to put my kids in daycare for a short time, I would, but because of my son's challenges it's impossible. There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, I'm working with a couple of different therapists to get my son to a point where he can be integrated in with other children, one day I will be able to leave him in someone else's care. My energy level would like that to be today, but it's not.

[Miss Firecracker]

I have a child age 23 that still cannot be left with anyone. I'm tired too. I haven't had any time alone since 1982.

 

Buy a lot of bagels and freeze them.

[EgoJoe]

I absolutely love the avatar of Miss Firecracker and I want to tell the OP that while not a parent. I have been there with the coffee and doing things for others. I went through a period this last march where all I ate in two and a half week span was a piece of toast...I drank alot of coffee and water.

 

Remember that your health is important so that you can take care of your children better.