octour Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 My ex broke up with me after 3.5 years. She met someone while we were still together two before she broke up with me. 2 months later, they went to the justice of the peace and got married. She lied to me about seeing anybody and said that anybody she was hanging out with were just friends and that all this time she has been drinking etc to deal with our breakup. I found this out to be all lies, all except for the drinking. Needless to say, I was devastated and finding out that she got married last week hasn't made anything any easier. Everyone says they are destined for doom and there is no way in hell that this is going to last. But that doesn't help me sleep either. I recently saw a doctor and she prescribed me 0.25mg of xanax to be taken 1-2 times per day. It has helped tremendously despite me having just balled my brains out about 10 minutes ago because I came accross all the emails she would send me. All the stuff I miss were in there. I have since deleted all of them. But my questions is, will being on the xanax actually help me heal or will it just prolong the agony of losing my best friend who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with? Is it just masking the problem or helping me deal with it? I would rather heal the fastest way possible and feel its the healthiest way as well. I want to be stronger after this, not keeping these feelings bottled up inside me only to resurface some other time in the future. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I was taking xanax for a short time as well after my break up. I never took it as they prescribed though, and just mainly took it as needed. It did wonders for me when I felt a panic attack coming on....but I tried only to use it at extreme times when I felt I just couldn't deal. Some people can do it with out, but there were times for me that my anxiety was so bad I couldn't sleep and i would just lay in bed gasping and crying so it was really needed for me. I would just be smart with it and don't depend on it (That stuff can actually cause dependency) but I don't feel it will prolong anything. It is a coping mechanism. Eventually (as we all do) you will begin to heal and not feel that horrible panicky, heart pounding feeling....it may still hurt, I'm not saying it won't, but you will be able to deal with it. You won't need to be on this stuff forever (I felt that too at one point- how am I ever going to just be 'okay' again with out this?) but you just do...it doesn't happen overnight. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Stop thinking about her as your best friend and the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with ---- while this might have been true 3 yrs ago, the reality is that this woman lied to you, began a relationship w/ someone else behind your back --- and walked into marriage w/ him in a few months. That is who she really is --- not the woman you remember. It will make it easier to move forward. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Hm I just looked at your dosage again and should also note I was on a higher dosage (2mg) so that should probably be taken into consideration. .25mg is not a strong dosage at all, so you may be okay to take it as prescribed more so then I would have. If they are working for you currently then stick with it, but again just don't get dependent on them. Link to comment
Sim54 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Drugs ultimately are not a 'cure' for your emotions, as in fact your emotions are not a disease that need curing. Sure, it hurts, and can make life very difficult, but the only way to deal with your emotions in a healthy way is to feel them. Running from them, or popping pills doesn't work in the long run, so although taking some pills now and then can help ease you through the worst moments, i would suggest getting proffessional help to help you deal more effectively with your anxiety for the long term. Link to comment
Glowguy Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Do some research into xanex. The side effects can be pretty awful and it can cause long term problems if you're not careful. I agree that .25 mg is a very low dose so you should be fine in the short term, but if you find yourself wanting to increase the dose then you might want to look into some non-prescription alternatives. I only ever take it when I'm flying or when I am feeling extremely anxious. I'm not a doctor but after reading about this subject I think xanex is really not meant for regular use. Link to comment
octour Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 I am in a lot better position mentally and physically then I was 1-2 months ago when my breakup was first happening. I've only started taking the .25mg after I found out she got married last week after only two months with this guy. The angst in my chest that left the previous week was immediately back and I couldn't function, eat, sleep etc. Basically, I had to start taking it because sleeping pills would only put me to sleep for an hour or two and I would wake up and stay up the rest of the day after an hour or two of sleep. It was the anxiety and the disbelief that was keeping me up. I know this is going to hurt for a while but at the same time I would like to heal in the best way as fast as possible. Link to comment
symbiot Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I used my sisters Xanax a little bit when I was really screwed up. Sometimes it helped me but IMO I think you will heal properly is to let your emotions come to you and feel them totally. Use them. Use them for all they have to offer you. If you repress them they will appear later and you'll have to deal with them at that point and they will be harder to deal with then and they could destroy your next relationship. This is part of the human experience. Link to comment
octour Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Right now, I am only taking one .25mg pill before I fall asleep. It keeps me from waking with my heart jumping out of my chest and staying up the rest of the night while only getting 1 hr of sleep per night. I no longer take them during the day so I guess I am improving quickly. I have a plan for myself that I am going to stick to as part of my recovery. Above all, I am doing everything I can to think about me and only me. I am not thinking about finding a replacement or filling a void or anything. I am a good looking guy and have never had trouble meeting girls. I will meet somebody and it will happen when I least expect it. In the meantime, the only thing on my mind is me. Because in the end, I am the only one that matters. Link to comment
Sim54 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 You are trying to medicate your heartbreak. It's not a good idea. That anxiety, i know SOOOO well. I lived with it for a long time, many months, but I REFUSED to medicate it. It's me, it's who I am, and it's a part of the process of falling in love. It's the flip side of it. You wouldn't medicate your love, so don't medicate your fear. Link to comment
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