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heart broken and confused


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Ill try and keep this as short as possible.

3 weeks ago my ex of 2 years dumped me,up until this day we had been fine,everything seemed normal,we both seemed happy etc,well,3 months before we broke up she did kiss a guy on a night out which i eventually forgave her and as i said,things seemed normal.


The day we broke up we was both txting each other from work,making plans for going out for a meal to celebrate 2 years of being together,my last txt to her was "4 hours until you finish,i cant wait to see you". then 2 hours later she txt saying she was gonig home,i asked why and she just said she was tried from work,i had a funny feeling about this so i went to hers when she had finished,she said nothing was wrong then she suddenly said she wasnt happy. I was gob smacked as i thought we were fine,anyway,we finished.


For the next few days we still txt each other,then i posted her stuff because i needed to get over her,she phoned me just after i posted her things saying i didnt need to post them etc,in the end we argued,so i txt her asking to post my key on her way to work the next morning. she txt back sayin she will do it the day after,so i said ok. That night we was txting again and she said she misses everything etc,so i just said,well come see me then,she said she would come with my key instead of posting it. She did,We spoke about work etc at 1st then we got talking about our relationship,she was crying so hard it was making me want to cry. In the end she just said it had to be like this,so i said ok,ill leave u alone from now on. A day later she was txting again,general chit chat really.


It had probably been a week since the break up now,plenty of txting still going on and the odd phone call..i remember it was a thursday and we had been txting all day and she said she misses me,misses talking to me etc so i asked her if she wanted to come see me,she said she might come after work the next day,she never did but txt me asking if she could come sunday,i said ok,she came on sunday but didnt look happy,probably from work,and she read my facebook messages when i was in the kitchen,anyway i got the same old crap from her so i said look at me,she did,i said do you love me,she said yes,so i said well i need to heal now,u know what that means,she said leave u alone and i said yes,she looked angry.


The next day she txt me saying "my mother says do u want to cut the grass and she will pay you" i said ok,because im skint,and asked her not to be there,when i got to hers she was washing and cleaning her car on the drive,typical lol,anyway,i cut the grass and hardly spoke to her,when i did it was brief. An hour after i got home she txt me asking why i was so quiet,i told her because it was awkward,she said she hardly spoke because id told her not to talk to me,so why txt me then?. in the end we argued about our relationship yet again.


The next day i bumped into her while walking my dog,we spoke ok and then i went home,a few hours later she rang and asked if i could fix her car radio,then asked if i wanted anything from the shops,i said get me whatever,she asked if i had ate that day and if i wanted food later,i said get something for later. She came to mine,i fixed her steroe,then she said she wasnt hungry anymore,so i said to her that it feels like u have used me,she said she hasnt. when she went home she txt again saying she hadnt used me,and yet again things ended in arguments about our relationship.


I started to ignore her txts for the next 2 days as i was hurting lots,but she persisted,in the end i replied,normal chit chat again. Now a few days ago i was drunk and replied to her txts and sent angry txts to her,i ignored her for another 2 days.


Yesterday i eventually replied to her,we started off normal chit chat again and i messed up and told her i had an urge to see her,she basically said the same to me but said its probably best if we didnt see each other,but she will let me know later if she is coming or not,She never came but we still texted alot,After hearing that she loves and misses me i messed up big style and basically asked if she wanted to try save our 2 year relationship,by starting a fresh etc,she said she doesnt think it would work and she isnt going to change her mind,i accepted this, she then said its upto me if i want to be friends with her,i just said i dont know,all i know is i love you. Ive not heard anything from her today but i am hurting lots still.


During our break up i have deleted her number,my facebook,told her 3 times not to contact me,but she still has,shes deleted me off facebook twice,its stupid and immature.

I do love this girl and want her back,we had an amazing 2 years and this came out of the blue,ive asked her if there is anyone else and she said no.


I dont know where to go from here,i wont txt her 1st,which i havent done since we broke up,but what if she txts me,how do i react? she confuses me,she doesnt want to be with me yet she always contacts me,less so when she is with her friends. She gets jelous too when she sees females talking to me,she even said other night that i can do what i want,i could tell she was angry.

I think this is everything and sorry for the long post but i needed to get it off my chest,any help or suggestions would be amazing,thankyou.

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Well first of all you are right not to text her first it is obvious that she only wants you when SHE wants. It does sound to me though that maybe she isn't over you. If you keep telling her to leave you alone and let you heal and she keeps on coming around or texting you she might still have feelings for you. Also the fact she still gets jealous about other girls makes it really obvious. But if you know that the relationship is truly over and you are trying to heal STAY AWAY no matter what. Just erase her from your memory and ignore her. Eventually it will get better.

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Well in my eyes its truly over because she has said it is,and theres nothing i can do about it,i do love her and want her back but when she says its over then the only choice i have is to move on,she doesnt let me. Ive had all that crap about maybe things might change in the future etc. Ive seen her 3 or 4 times in person since the break up and its killed me,im just confused i suppose,only problem is,im not a strong person when it comes to break ups,like if she txts ill want to reply so much incase we get reconcile,but i know deepdown she doesnt want to,or so she says. Its now 3pm and ive not heard a thing from her,i know shes at work but thats not stopped her much before,maybe she wont txt tonight either but if she does i just dont know how to respond or react.

Forgot to add something lol,i asked her why she looked at my facebook messages,she said she was looking to see if i was with anyone else,because id accused her when we 1st broke up,and it usually the accuser whos guilty. cant believe she would think i would go with someone else.

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I think she needs to know that she can't treat you like a puppet on a string. You have your self respect to think of. She shouldn't be allowed to get away with treating you like that. If she chooses to break up with you, she can't expect you to come running to fix things, or to act like everything's normal when she wants you around for a while. She still likes you, but if she's not willing to commit to you, she shouldn't be able to get the benefits of what a bf would do for her. Come on. She needs to be set straight. That might help her make up her mind.

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Yes but put her straight by not agreeing to her requests or being there for her unless she commits.

i agree with that,im not gonna totally ignore her as im not an ignorent person,but ill keep things short and simple and if she wants my help with something then unlucky her cos im not going to.

I wont contact her 1st no matter what though,thats just falling into her trap,its time to believe in myself again and be a stronger person,ive been told by many people that "if she wants me she will come get me" i kind of believe in that but i try not to have hope that she will come back,as that prolongs my suffering.

Ive had alot a personal problems too since the break bup which hasnt helped.

3 weeks ago i got dumped,a week later i lost my job,a week later my cousin is on life support (still is) and day later my uncle dies,not to mention i dont have any money now so i could lose my own home if things dont change quickly,this has all happen in just over 3 weeks so u can imagine how im feeling. But believe me i have done everything i can to stay strong but nothing seems to be working.

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Change your phone #. Get a new email address. Delete your Fb account and start a new one. Activities where you might see her quit if you can.


Start moving forward. Set a goal for yourself that has nothing to do with her and go for it, perhaps throw your effort into the job search or some side work. It will be crazy hard at first but you need to set yourself up for success. There will be bumps on the road but it will get better. The longer you let her dangle you on a string the longer you will wait to begin healing emotionally.

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She's holding onto you like a security blanket until she has somebody new solidly locked down... so she'll use you as a bridge out of the relationship until she has someone to replace you.


You need to tell her that you only want to hear from her if she has changed her mind and is ready to become your GF again and work on the relationship. Otherwise she needs to quit stringing you along and trying to be friends with you. What you want her to be is your GF, not a 'buddy' while she looks for someone new... there's nothing in that for you except pain. Respond to every single contact she makes with, 'are you ready to get back together'... as long as she says no, then don't respond with any more than that.

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i failed,ive had a pretty bad night and then i heard shes going to the seaside etc,and shes happy about it,makes me wonder if she actually cared,so ive txt her with some angry words lol,now im going to cut my sim card up,so i cant read any replies,my love for her has turned to hate tonight and i dont know why,i know its wrong thing to do but its too late now as i sent the txt.

i gave this girl my world and she doesnt deserve me anymore. grr i hate her lol.

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