LouieLouie Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 My ex and I of 8 months decided to catch up yesterday. He called it off as we fought too much and he just wants to be single and have his fun - affraid of commitment. We had had a couple of fights here and there as we wanted to be friends but obviously it takes a while for that to happen. We share mutual friends and our families are close etc so we couldn't really afford to just cut each other out. I was running late and so was he - his bus was late. We decided on a place to eat and he asked if my old housemates could join us - there a couple, one of which is a really close friend - I use to live with them until we broke up. My friend and I hang out regularly. I said sure as I hadn't seen her in a week or 2 due to uni exams etc. Anywho it was great fun and felt a bit like a double date. Afterwards they had to leave to go home and it was just me and my ex - he had some errands to do so I just went along with him. It was actually really fun being around him again. We did talk about the past but we weren't mean to one another - in actual fact we accepted our past mistakes and had a joke about it. He mentioned us fighting and I said hey I loved us fighting - he said he always had to win! I said yeah I knew that. We walked to his bus station - he gave me a hug really tight and I did too and he said thanks for lunch and he seemed happy. I said we should do it again soon and I left - didn't even look back. It was really nice and I think we both had a good time. I just hope it ignites something! I didn't hear from him today - I was suppose to go over to visit my friend and pay him back for lunch but my friend had to cancel. I sent him a message and asked if he wanted me to come over this arvo or on Friday when me and my friend rescheduled. He said Friday sounds good Is this a positive step? What should my next step be? Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Play it cool girlfriend. Let him initiate as much as you are. Link to comment
Mellie Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I agree with the previous poster. Also, it wouldn't hurt to cut it shorter if you do see him on Friday. When he said he had errands to run, that was probably the time to go home. I know you will want to spend time with him, but I think you should act contrary to that. Walking him to his bus is a bit over eager. It's no big deal, I just wouldn't do it next time. And I'd leave it to him to suggest any meet ups after that. The channels are open - if he wants to pursue them, but it's important not to push. Good luck. Link to comment
LouieLouie Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Just in response to what you wrote Mellie - he actually wanted me to come while and we were walking in the same direction to both of our bus stopes, we just reached his first before mine and he initiated the hug Thanks! Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 It's probably not a good step - if you have to pay back money for lunch that he couldn't shout. Was it his idea to have lunch or yours? And if it was yours - your still kinda chasing him by trying to give him back money which he should have paid for! Link to comment
Mellie Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Yeah, if you had to go the same way anyway fair enough. I just think it's better to cut it short and leave him wanting more. I'm I missing something? Did you pay for your ex's lunch? If so, you shouldn't be doing that. Link to comment
LouieLouie Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 We both arranged the meeting as we had a previous lunch date which he did pay for - he paid for this one but I insisted on paying him back. Were not together and he doesn't owe me anything plus I'm capable of paying my fare share, it's just I couldn't take the money out of the bank as I couldn't transfer it out of my savings and I ended up paying for something extra as the food was brought out at different times and since I ate someone else's meal I had to pay extra...sorry long story! Link to comment
Mellie Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Ah right Well, you know - I'd leave the ball in his court and see what happens. Try not to get your hopes up too much but at least you're on amicable terms. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Well this should be your next step........ Ok you have not heard from him today. You need to wait until he gets in contact. DO NOT CONTACT HIM before he contacts you - regardless if you owe him money or not. Just wait. If you do not hear from him, just consider lunch is his shout and let it go. If he does contact you cool - but not cool if he only wants his money back. Play it that way and you don't look like your chasing him. Link to comment
LouieLouie Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Thanks for your help!! Much appreciated Link to comment
DN Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I am not clear what you want from him - do you want him as a friend or do you want him back? Link to comment
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