want to be friends, to much hurt to get back together ?

[Aj7000]

My ex broke up with me about 6-7 weeks ago, before that she broke up with me 3 months in then we got back together.

 

looking back now i can see the last 7 months of us being with each after the first break up i wasn't myself and did almost anything i could to keep us together. i kind of get the idea that she broke up with me as she felt she was more into me than i was to her, but the real reason was its wasn't flowing right after the first break up and we didnt speak about our feelings

 

we ended up breaking up for good 6-7 weeks ago and i haven't seen her since. we had a few texts to each over, some of which have be mean and very hurtful. about 2 weeks ago i stood up for myself and said she had been very out of order during the break up and hurt me.

 

Before this i beg for her back, she then surprised me by saying said sorry and that she was anger with me and that is why she said those things and maybe in 6 months time when we are both in better places we might friends again.

 

i know that us as couple, don't work and after the heartbreak she has caused me, i would found find it very hard to trust her with my feelings again so could never really seeing us getting back together.

 

i would however like the idea of her being in my life as a friend again and it maybe sounds like she does too, but before she said about being friends again, when we first broke up she had blocked me on Facebook deleted me on Skype (i never spoke to her on them when we broke up or at anytime after) so i dont see why she did this and de-tag me from all her pics

 

so i'm a bit confused she went from never wanted to see me again when we first broke up, to now she left it with: maybe one day if we not seeing people we could be friends again, let the dust settle.

 

i do miss her a lot and care about her loads we were friends before we got together, just feel like i lost a good friend with this break up

[CatsMeeoow]

Its not impossible to regain a friendship after a break up but most will tell you it takes lot of time and well... eventually both parties wanting it.

 

Don't be surprised that she is telling you now she thinks its possible but down the road makes no effort and rebuffs your attempts at it. That's just life. People sometimes just tend to go their own ways.

 

Assume that the two of you are going separately from here on out. Don't hold out that you'll be friends in X months as that will just set you up for disappointment and heartache all over again.

 

The only ex I have ever maintained a good friendship with was someone I knew for years and was already a good friend. Even then it took a couple of years to get the awkward out of it and get back to where we used to be. I'm grateful for it as he is just a wonderful guy - just not my guy!

 

Good Luck

[Aj7000]

Thanks for the reply, I'm kind of on a roller coaster of feeling now... i liked the idea of being her friend, but she has hurt me so much from the break up i don't now know if i want that, at first i did but I've gone of the idea.... how odd, it was killing me a few weeks ago the thought of having her in my life, now i have feeling of anger over the way she treated me and i dont want that in my life..