quantumst8 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 How likely is it that a girl who's interested in you would lose interest if you never let her know you like her as more than a friend? Is it possible that a girl could have romantic feelings for you for a few weeks, but you wait and keep things friendly, and after a month you make your move and she rejects you because she lost interest? Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Well, it would depend on age and circumstance --- but, yeah. Unrequited feelings die.... Link to comment
blackhawks1287 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Likely and possibly, be persistent if you know she felt that way a couple more times. If she still backs off then let it go. Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 That sucks. Especially since you're the same person before and after. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 How likely is it that a girl who's interested in you would lose interest if you never let her know you like her as more than a friend? Is it possible that a girl could have romantic feelings for you for a few weeks, but you wait and keep things friendly, and after a month you make your move and she rejects you because she lost interest? yup - happened to me plenty of times!! eventually, you get tired of waiting, and then you move on. or maybe i made a move that wasn't returned so i move on. and then the guy becomes interested. sorry, over it. Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 and then the guy becomes interested. What if he was always interested, though? Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 No you are not. The first guy wasn't interested in me --- never gave me any encouragement. So I moved on. The second guy is interested in me. I'm still me -- how come he is interested now. That sucks. Especially since you're the same person before and after. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 how does she know that if you didn't make a move earlier? Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Is this someone you've known for a long time? She may have lost interest due to lack of reciprocation, or she may have observed things about you that didn't work for her, or she used those observations to talk herself out of liking you. Either way, now she knows your interest. Just go back to doing what you've been doing. Depending on what made her lose interest, it may eventually switch back on her end once she sees a green light. Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 No you are not. The first guy wasn't interested in me Sure he was. He just didn't make it known for whatever reason. Maybe he didn't get any signal from you that he should make a move. Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Is this someone you've known for a long time? A month and a half, I suppose. Seems like she was texting often, inviting me places, etc. up until the last week. Now she seems distant. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 maybe she is waiting on you to make the move now..........? ask her out!! Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 in my case i waited for a year and then he finally asked me out, my feelings never died or were less but i know this is not for everyone! Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I'm sorry, but if you didn't make it known ---- how would she know? Look, as long as she isn't seeing someone else, you can probably pour on the charm and get back in her good graces....can't you? Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 maybe she is waiting on you to make the move now..........? ask her out!! Well, the reason I haven't is that she never reciprocates physical touch. I'll touch her arm or leg casually during conversation, sometimes I'll give her back rubs which she seems to like, but she's never once touched me back. That's the main reason I've been hesitant to push the friend barrier, even though I've always liked her. Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Women don't connect physically until they have connected mentally. Post this and read it often!!!!! Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Well, the reason I haven't is that she never reciprocates physical touch. I'll touch her arm or leg casually during conversation, sometimes I'll give her back rubs which she seems to like, but she's never once touched me back. That's the main reason I've been hesitant to push the friend barrier, even though I've always liked her. maybe she wants to get to know you better first?? like on a date? Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 maybe she wants to get to know you better first?? like on a date? Maybe. I've only got past experiences to go on, and I'm fairly use to women being touchy feely if they're interested. I've been out with her several times already doing several different things. How do I invite her out on a date and distinguish it from the rest of the times we've been out? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 i don't know that you need to distinguish it. if she's always invited you out places, but you've never invited her, maybe she is waiting for you to reciprocate? Link to comment
mhowe Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Hey XX -- I know we've hung out a couple of times, but would you consider a real, live actual date!? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 why?? no - just ask her out for dinner or something, and then hold her hand or give her a kiss at the end of the night! Link to comment
quantumst8 Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Well, I've invited her a couple times before. I did take her to an Italian restaurant. But I didn't try to hold her hand or kiss her or anything like that. At the end of the dinner, she asked to split the check so I took that as a sign she might only be interested as friends. *pulls hair out*... I just can't tell Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 i asked my bf to split the bill cause i didn't want him to pay for it all but i was very much in love and i also never touched him and came accross as very closed off, but not because i didn't love him, i was just very scared....luckily it all worked out in the end, but the odds were definitely against us haha Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 How likely is it that a girl who's interested in you would lose interest if you never let her know you like her as more than a friend? Is it possible that a girl could have romantic feelings for you for a few weeks, but you wait and keep things friendly, and after a month you make your move and she rejects you because she lost interest? My husband was in a similar situation -he was not sure whether to ask me to get back together with him after we'd been out three times platonically (we'd ended things almost 8 years earlier). His friend advised him to wait but the situation was that he was going to be leaving town for at least several months for work, pretty soon. For me the issue would have been more about timing- if he had waited another month let's say chances are I would have been dating someone else, maybe even seriously. No, I probably wouldn't have waited around for him to express interest in me and I'm not 100% sure I would have said anything to him because we were about to be long distance and if he hadn't asked before he left I might have assumed it was because he wasn't interested. I'm so glad he didn't wait! Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Being turned down and not contacting or suggesting activities and doesn't reciprocate touch. I agree, those aren't great signs. That's why I'm on the fence as to why she lost apparent interest. Was it from self protection, or because she saw or heard a red flag. Did you also hear this from one of her friends, or are you making the call only on her actions? BTW, I don't think splitting the check means anything one way or the other. If she's still willing to "hang out" with you, set something up again for just the two of you. Dinner is good, or choose some other activity where you can freely talk and have fun together and get to know each other. Then, don't use words right away, but subtly push your physical closeness. Don't go for hand holding or back rubs too quickly. Simply stand a little more closely to her than normal. Occasionally touch her arm when you're talking to her. See how receptive she is to that. If she's feeling stung from what she perceived as a rejection early on, that may help her feel safe with you again. Simply using words and asking her out obviously didn't do it - she has to feel it again. Link to comment
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