ladyjane83 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I posted me original story in the infedelity section, but its got a bit long and so thought I would oost the update her. In short I found out my boyfriend of 1.5 years had another girlfriend for 2.5 years. When it all came out he chose her and was really quite nasty about it saying I never meant anything, which he then took back, but he is choosing to make a go of things with her, but still in touch with me...even though he tells her he isn't. .I think last time I wrote he had told me he wants to work it out with her and that they are just talking at the mo but he promised he would let me know whatever the outcome is. He also said that he cant really keep in touch with me if he is trying to work things out with her and that she would end it if she knew he was still contacting me...but would always reply when I text him and even randomly called me for 'chats' which led me to believe he was having just as much trouble cutting contact. Because if he was serious about her and didnt want me in his life surely he would just say 'look I'm back together with her now (even if they werent yet) and completely ignore all my contact. Last week I asked him if he fancied meeting up before he moves away to uni to clear the air and he can give me some stuff of mine that he has....but he ignored the text and didnt respond and then 2 nights late he called me saying he didnt respond because he panicked because he didnt know what to say because he really wants to see me and thinks it would be nice, but if she ever found out it would be over before it starts, his words were 'my heart wants to meet you but my head says I shouldnt if im trying to work things out with her' we chatted fora while and he was saying how its hard because we always got on so well and if it wasnt for the situation and it was just us then there wouldnt have been a reason to break up. he left it by saying to leave it with him and he will call me in a couple of days. He didnt call when he was meant to, so the next night I called him. We talked and it was fine, he even called me the nickname he used to call me. I asked if he had given anymore thought about meeting up and he went from saying he wants to to just no, I cant because Im trying to work things out and so I asked if they are back together and he paused for ages then said yes. He wasnt going to tell me, and won't tell me how long they have been for (Surely if he was serious about it he would want to tell me so that I would leave him alone, not lie about it and keep calling/texting me) and he lied about going to her town to see her etc he said he hadn't but I know he had. I don't get why lie about it if he is serious about her. I got upset and we hung up then he called back later and we chatted. we left that chat on good terms, I sort of wished him luck with it, he said he doesn't know if it will be the same between them, then he said he will call me in the week for a chat. I went out on sat night and had fun with my friends, syupidly I sent a photo of myself in my dress to him when I was drunk, I apologised the next morning and he said I don't need to, it was a nice picture, he asked if I'd had a good night so I subtly dropped into conversation that I met a guy and have a date lined up (I didn't) and he porperly flipped at me, said why would I think he would want to know that blah blah blah said he "isn't going to call me anymore if I'm going to tell him things he dosnt want to hear, you have a date, wow, good for you" and said there's no point in us talking anymore as it won't achieve anything now (in his words he was only talking to me as friends anyway, so why would me having a date change that?!) I asked if I could call him on monday and he said theres no point as I'm obviously moving on and we have nothing to say to eachother. I called him anyway and he didnt answer, but then called me back and he was so obviously jealous... Was saying how he is with her now so doesn't care what I do, he isn't speaking to me again and I can go on as many dates as I like because he doesn't care. But then would ask questions like how long did I talk to him for, how old is he, what's his name, is he good looking?!, am I friends with him on fb, but then would be like, but I don't care anyway!He was really mean, said why do I need to go out and chat up guys, what's wrong with just having a night out with my friends instead. He said he has only been keeping in touch to keep me happy but now Im obviously moving on then I dont need him anymore etc etc. The on tues I text him and he was still really off with me. Then that night HE phoned me (bare in mind he said the night before he isnt going to talk to me again because he was only doing me a favour and now I dont need him) so I didn't answer the phone. On weds/thurs though he went back to texting me as normal and said he called on tues just for a chat and to check I was ok after our last chat... This is the guy who is "tyring to work things out with his gf and doesn't want to talk to me anymore". I didn't reply to his last one then I got another out of the blue saying "so are you going to go on your date on sat then?" So jealous!!! I told him I wasn't. Then Friday we were texting and he said he is moving next weekend so I said that the offer is still there to meet up before he goes. He didnt reply then that evening he called me... (He seriously can't stop the contacting, no matter what he says!) We talked for 45 mins and he was lovely. He said he doesn't know what he feels at the moment, and that he is trying with her but doesn't know if it will work and that she doesn't seem that into it and so that rubs off on him and makes him not that into it. He said he really wants to meet up for a drink but really doesnt want her to know. He was so contradictory I just wanted to laugh....his words: "I really want to meet up, I think it will nice. But if we do you can't tell anyone and I won't tell anyone either because if she found out it would be over... But I don't want it to sound like I'm going back to sneaking around again because I'm not!" ....really!? listen to yourself!!! He lied about seeing her again, said he didnt see her last weekend, but Im pretty certain he did. and said he isnt seeing her this weekend (but he was driving somewhere while he was talking) he said he would call me on tuesday and have completely ignored me ALL weekend, which is how I know he is with her. Which is fine, I would expect that if he is trying to work things out with her...what I dont get is why lie to me about it if we are 'just friends'. I think the obvious thing is that he is keeping me there incase things dont work out with her (not that he would get me) but thats really obvious..... but he said on the phone "I dont want you to think Im keeping you hanging on the back burner because if you think that then I would rather cut ties now) so what are you doing??? ok maybe he is just trying to be freinds, but then why lie about seeing her, and also why risk ruining things with her by being in contact with me?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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