"We'll talk later."

[hunniebunn]

I can't seem to understand the meaning of that word.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 3 months (I'm 22, he is 26), and we, in my opinion, have a really good relationship. We talk every night on skype, he texts periodically through the day, and even though we do live about an hour and a half away we still meet up about once a week.

In the last few weeks, he has been going to the doctors for a possible fractured tailbone, and he has been in major pain. Every time I go up and see him I bring him homemade treats, or bring lunch, or something to that effect. When he is sore I give him massages, if he needs something done and is having a hard time getting up, I help him out.

Last Wednesday I got him out of the house with Cirque du Soleil tickets, we had an amazing time. We joke around a lot, so I made the joke of asking if I was going to get lucky, since it's always him wanting it. He said that he was too sore, which I could see, and I told him, "you know we can just cuddle on the couch for a bit, since I don't know when I will see you next", and he said he was really feeling uncomfortable from all the walking. So I made sure that he knew that I was joking around, and he smiled and kissed my hand while I was driving.

We talk like normal on Sat morning, and I ask him if we are going to meet up since I am starting midnights, and I know we won't really be able to talk as much. He said that he was going to take some pain killers and a nap and would let me know if he felt better. So I waited, and waited, and waited, and finally texted him about 4 hours later asking how he was feeling. He said that he felt worse. And I got pissed.

I said how unfortunate. He took it as I was guilting him and said "thanks for your support". He then said that's all I have been doing lately (in reference to the date we had previously), I was in shock and lost it. I was the one that was always making sure that he was okay, always being supportive, and yet he had the nerve to say that to me. He then said, "I don't want to talk about this right now, we'll talk later." He has warned me in the past that when he gets upset about something, he becomes closed off so that he doesn't say anything he will regret.

That was Saturday...

I texted him Monday morning more or less just saying "I'm worried about you, I haven't heard from you." He said "I'm really busy right now. We'll talk later" (he is in the process of buying a home). I then just asked "Can you just tell me if we are okay?", which he then said "We'll be fine".

He didn't text back, which I'm wondering is because I sleep during the day, and go to work in the evening for overnights.

I honestly just don't know what's going on in his head, like it was a stupid little argument, and I know that it wouldn't be grounds for a breakup.

What do I do? Do I just let the ball fall in his court, or do I try to get a hold of him myself?

Thanks

[pixiebones]

He obviously sensed you were pissed at him for still being in pain, which, if I were in his position, I would have been a little insulted. He may be left thinking that you were only "caring" about him for your own gain.

[Imthatguy]

Personally I think he's being a baby. He can obviously walk and move around enough yeah it might be painful but its not that bad if he's moving around. At any rate your best course of action in my opinion is just to wait for him to message you back and not to worry about it.

[bulletproof]

 

What do I do? Do I just let the ball fall in his court, or do I try to get a hold of him myself?

Thanks

 

You can't make him talk to you. Wait for him to contact you. I think that if he's in a lot of pain and also going through the difficult process of buying a house, that's more than enough reason to need some space.

[mhowe]

I have broken my tail bone and the pain is indescribable. For 3 months, the process of moving from sitting to standing or the reverse brought tears to my eyes. Add to that the stress of buying a house, and I would say his plate is full. Since you straight out asked him if "you guys were ok" and he said yes, we will be fine --- leave him be. He's in pain, he's exhausted and he's stressed. Give him some space, don't text him to death or keep checking in. You've only been together 3 months, and what you may see as caring, he may see as "caring with an agenda".

 

And I got to tell you, the thought of making out when your tail bone is broken is making me wince even now!!!

[WindowTo]

I think even more helpful than taking him to cirque de soleil and bringing him lunch would be to not be so needy of attention when he is in pain and probably exhausted. The problem with texting and calling is that it is out of sight out of mind, the phone may seem like he can just give you a ring but to the other side it might just seem like it would be easy to understand that a person may be too tired or in pain to make a call because their mind is per-occupied or they are feeling like s***.