peterepeat Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 well hello im new here. ok my situation its been 7months since my last break up with my ex gf we have just started to communicate again its like whenever i start doing really well being really positive. moving on with my life she some how always pops back in. i thought i could handle this friend thing but i think not. i always try to read to much into her messages.to see if theres hope but i know there's not. we were really close im geussing she just wants me still in her life.she once said with our connection we could have a beautiful friendship. it,s getting tiresome.im just writing this to vent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaTrue Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 -Nod nod- Are you on NC or LC, by the way? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 we had a few months of no contact we broke up in april and contact started again in august. its be come weekly contact now her contacting me via text and more recently email.its mostly about what were at in life and talking about things we used to share with each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaTrue Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 we had a few months of no contact we broke up in april and contact started again in august. its be come weekly contact now her contacting me via text and more recently email.its mostly about what were at in life and talking about things we used to share with each other. what switched this from nc to lc? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 i broke NC sending her a message saying i missed her. my bad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 i just really miss her i know its over. i want to reconnect and maybe get back together. but being in limbo like this is destroying me. shes moved on her pain has healed. i need turn my back on her and walk my own separate path. but as i said when im doing well some part of her comes back in my life whether it be bumping into her friends or relatives. its my own fault for breaking no contact i know genuinely wants to be friends not sure if she is with someone new i dont want to know. i cant wait for the day that she is someone i used to know. vent venting Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
O-shen Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 i broke NC sending her a message saying i missed her. my bad. haha kudos for the honesty Its hard isnt it. You want them back, but dont want to be hurt. But you dont want to let go, because it feels like you are loosing it all. We know what we have to do, yet find it so hard. ugh...if only life was all ewoks and unicorns. Seriously though, its a sad path I and many others on here have travelled down. NC is a hard thing to do, but we know deep down its for the best. Being in limbo is soul destroying, and causing us more hurt instead of fixing us. Even if they did come back, the time spent in limbo, would probably destroy part of who you are, what once was, and eventually, the relationship. It sounds like you are a smart dude, you know what you have to do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 when is this obsession going to end gee whiz my mind is plauged. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live-N-Learn Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 when is this obsession going to end gee whiz my mind is plauged. When you stop having contact with her and give yourself time to heal. Your still holding onto a small bit of hope she will come back. I know it's hard to let them go but ask yourself next time you interact with her how it makes you feel inside. I am sure it does not feel good. Yes, you get the momentary rush but then the pain sets in that she does not want you back. The best thing you can do for yourself is stop all contact. Friendship is not what you really want and until the day comes if ever that you can only want friendship, then you will continue to suffer. Do what is best for you in the long term..it's just not worth it. Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 yeah very correct ive had rough year mainly due to this situation things keep falling apart. i just got get through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 i used to be very reliable hard worker. very driven person. now im just in a pool of darkness i cant seem to find my feet. i got new jobs one they have now cut my shift my schooling has suffered last night at friends bucks night i lost my bag with every thing in it. i have little to no money. i have lost a lot of weight the only thing i have positive at the moment is my band and im slacking off at that i need motivation in life again. as i write i do get little excited to change things but stuff keeps bringing me down. i guess i can only become a stronger person from this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oO pd Oo Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Peterepeat - I hear you loud and clear with the motivation thing. It's as if all the wind has been taken out of your sails--and you aren't used to it because you are normally a very driven, very motivated person. The motivation will return. In the meantime, I know its really hard, but try focus on the positives as best as you can right now (even minor ones like the fact that you have found an entire community here at eNA that cares, sympathizes, and empathizes). Go ahead and scale your expectations about where you are in your life back for the time being. You are where you are. You know that you have the ability to be driven and reliable hard worker. You know that you are struggling right now--but once you get through this... you will again be a driven and reliable hard worker. Be patient with yourself and try not to get frustrated by comparing yourself now to where you used to be or where you normally are. Accept that you are still healing and try and cut yourself some slack. It's hard for us perfectionists to do that. Sometimes we get in our own way a little bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 thanks pal your right ive been reading some books about my obsessive nature and its giving me some clarity. so is venting on this page. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 reading threads from this site has helped alot im getting clarity back from a down fall im feeling quite positive moving house this week. the the house which and i used to share also breaking free of people whom are still in contact with her. im going back to a new beginning at least im going to try to. one of the things i was stressing about losing my bag is losing my phone just in case she might contact. but meh dosent matter NC begins now. being away from the city which i moved to too be with her made me realize that the only time we were truly happy was when there was distance between us. being a long distant relationship we have history before the relationship. but that's all memories now. also after being in relation ship with two girls around the same age bracket (24,25) im 29 its an age were, correct me if im wrong girls become lost and want to find themselves there direction in life. i gave her everything i could treated her like a princess. its her loss i know their will be more miserable times but its life ill learn from my mistakes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Man Who Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Hey Peter, Just my two cents here bud but what I'd do is cut her completely out of your life just now. Focus simply on yourself for a good period of time(no-one can define a good period, you'll know deep down yourself how long is a good time) and try to move on with your life even more. If she knows you'll reply to her messages all the time then you are still pandering to her and she knows she wears the trousers/has the power. 2 months isn't long enough NC for someone to properly heal and get over their previous relationship. Do what makes you happy, not her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 14, 2011 Author Share Posted October 14, 2011 its my birthday today the big thirty haha but what sucks is that im hoping that my ex will wish me happy bday sad isnt it. well im going to cut her off after today for sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peterepeat Posted October 20, 2011 Author Share Posted October 20, 2011 well today her cat died he was the most amazing creature she sent me a text to let me know. i told her my heart goes out to her and asked if there was anything i could do and asked if she was ok. her reply was thank you im ok. the thing is i dont make contact she does. its getting tiresome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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