Reflective Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 This is kind of scaring me. I'm not used to Clingy people.. Ok. This guy asked me to coffee. I've known him for a little time. I said "This isn't a date right? We are just going as friends to know each other and see each other?" He said: What? You don't want to date me? Me: What? Um. What do you think this is..? He said : We are dating... You don't want to date me? Me: Wow.. What?! I just said I'd go to coffee with you He said: I like you. More than Friends and want to date you... NOTE WE DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER WELL Me: Wow. He said: But we can take it slow if you like and be Friends Me: Yeah that's better. He said: Ok baby! Me: What? you mean friend He said: Yeah sure. So how are you? Me: tells about day he said: Awfeel better hugs and kisses Mind you before this my phone got deleted I lost everything like numbers. I thought he was my best friend Peter, so I said "Is this Pete? Hey! I miss you how are things!" before this I also said I lost all numbers. This guy said "What? Wow. Who is Pete? Your new man now?!?" Ok please help me out here. Is this behavior normal?!? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 What is it you want?? Are you creeped out and now want to cancel your date with him? Or do you want to go on the date anyway? Link to comment
bulletproof Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 This seems to happen to you a lot. Why do you think that is? Link to comment
Reflective Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 What is it you want?? Are you creeped out and now want to cancel your date with him? Or do you want to go on the date anyway? I obviously have interest even if it's little hence why I accepted it but I'm not quite sure about his behavior.. is it normal...? Is this clinginess at it's worst? I don't know I have guyfriends and they don't act. the way he does.... so I'm wondering what is goingon here? I didn't lead him on. I just said yes to a coffee date. That's it. So why is he acting like we are together? He is acting like how my ex bfs did - IN A RELATIONSHIP. Link to comment
Princess123 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Strange man who is desperate to be in a relationship. Creeper in my opinion, that isn't clingly its weird. What they do now is usually a peak into the future. So could you tolerate this behavior in a few weeks? Months? Years? Will you think it's odd then? Link to comment
indigoblue Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Lol... you can make up an excuse and cancel or just go on a date and see how it goes. If you don't really like how he acts then you don't have to go on a second date or you can cut your date short. Link to comment
Reflective Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 This seems to happen to you a lot. Why do you think that is? No...? Why else would I be here asking questions? Look I just accept a date if the guy is attractive and has intrigued me a little by conversation. We have had maybe 4 convos. Coffee dates aren't that big to me. In my eyes they are just a chill atmosphere to get to know each other. nothing serious. So what is this guys deal? Hes not ugly so I don't see why he is acting a little clingy too quickly with me? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 It is a potential red flag - I won't lie. People who try to "rush" relationships - that can be a bad sign. or he can be a hopeless romantic. it's hard to tell at this stage. if you are interested in him, go out with him but MAKE IT CLEAR that you are not his gf, but are merely interested in getting to know him better, to evaluate if you and him would want a 2nd date. Link to comment
Princess123 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 What does a little mean? What does 4 convos mean? How long have you really known him? How'd you meet? Link to comment
Samedy Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 No judgements here. But what did you expect his response to be to your question? I mean, even if he knew it wasn't a date... It would be hard to answer that question without either being defensive, or making light of the whole situation. (and also hard not be be offended) And really, what is the difference between a date and going out for coffee? Link to comment
Reflective Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 What does a little mean? What does 4 convos mean? How long have you really known him? How'd you meet? eyeroll.... big deeeeep breath. I've had FOUR conversations with him. We met through a friend. He sought me out. A little means gee... not a lot? I've spoken to him a little. Light conversation. Do I need to simplify anything else lol! Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 And really, what is the difference between a date and going out for coffee? same thing!!! of course, 1 coffee date doesn't equal boyfriend/girlfriend. it's not clear if the guy gets that. oh well. Link to comment
xyzzzz Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 how many these type of guys have you met now? Link to comment
Reflective Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 No judgements here. But what did you expect his response to be to your question? I mean, even if he knew it wasn't a date... It would be hard to answer that question without either being defensive, or making light of the whole situation. (and also hard not be be offended) And really, what is the difference between a date and going out for coffee? well it obviously wasn't hard to answer if he answered now right? Well I've made it clear out of the convos I had I'm not like other girls that just rush into things. I take it slow. Start off as friends even if I have to. So he knows that - or at least says he does - he knows I respect myself he knows I don't rush. So if he DOES get offended who's fault is that? I never once made. a move on him, never touched or kissed the man or done anything to ignite a romance. I was simply friendly yet detached. I accepted a coffee date, not his hand in matrimony. A coffee date to me is something fun chill and non serious. It's not heavy. We can relax drink tea or coffee have fun and just get to know each other without all the annoying romantic cheesiness that real dates involve themselves with I.e going to dinner, or the movies. Besides we will be around people so I can bolt quicker. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 well, you have a choice now - either turn down the date, or go on it and get to know him. if you want to go slow, then keep it as only a coffee date and leave after 1-2 hours. don't go home with him, don't let him come home with you, don't go drinking. Link to comment
Reflective Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 same thing!!! of course, 1 coffee date doesn't equal boyfriend/girlfriend. it's not clear if the guy gets that. oh well. A coffee date isn't a real date to me. It's light non serious very chill and relaxing. No pressure. Both parties can just have fun relax without the added tension and romantic boring/cheesiness that other choices of dates have to offer like going to dinner or the movies. Coffee dates are around a large group of people which enhances the chill/relaxed atmosphere it increases safety in case something happens. Coffee dates are non serious and less intense. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I think a coffee date is a date. Anything can be a date. Going to the grocery store can be a date! it's just two people, with a romantic interest, spending some time together. Link to comment
Reflective Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 well, you have a choice now - either turn down the date, or go on it and get to know him. if you want to go slow, then keep it as only a coffee date and leave after 1-2 hours. don't go home with him, don't let him come home with you, don't go drinking. Well thankfully I don't drink. Either he has serious issues and wants to trap any pretty woman he meets or he is one of those annoying hopeless romantics? Our coffee meeting or what he likes to call date, is at 5. I'll be sure to leave before the sun sneaks away. There's no way I am leaving at dark, not with how this guy is acting. He is nice but man.. this is kind of.. out there ha ha. He's hot too so I don't understand what he is acting like this for.. Link to comment
Reflective Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 I think a coffee date is a date. Anything can be a date. Going to the grocery store can be a date! it's just two people, with a romantic interest, spending some time together. Huh? How is going grocery shopping a date? Am I just not getting something? Do most of you guys like to place unnecessary weight on matters that in actuality aren't entirely relevant? I'm just curious here. Maybe I missed the memo on relationships here. Fill me in. How can grocery shopping equate to a date... So.. going to the bank with someone is that a date too? Not trying to be rude but it seems awfully far fetched to me. what's romantic about grocery shopping? Just going off what you said lol Link to comment
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