Slimpee Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I'm an intelligent, outgoing, funny (i think so, anyway), relatively attractive guy. For one reason or another, I haven't dated much. I don't advertise this fact but if it comes up, would that be a red flag to women? Or, would it be kinda cool, like I don't just date randomly? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I'm an intelligent, outgoing, funny (i think so, anyway), relatively attractive guy. For one reason or another, I haven't dated much. I don't advertise this fact but if it comes up, would that be a red flag to women? Or, would it be kinda cool, like I don't just date randomly? Some women do see that as a negative as in they want a guy who has some experience dating. But not all women will consider that a deal breaker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amber81 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 No its, ok, depends on the woman.... I would love to date you! hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LDRohnos Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I'd say a vast majority would consider it a good thing or least something that wouldn't matter much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaKings55 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Some of us are too busy pursuing our lives to date that much. Just try to pass it off as determination, or just don't say anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanaa Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 well if its like you dont know how to talk to women on a date...thats a bad thing in most female eyes as far as i can see Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slimpee Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Thanks for the responses! I think for me a part of it is not being confident enough to ask girls out but I think the biggest part is just being picky. I can definitely work on the pickiness by being open to the idea of dating different types of women, but I am old enough (just turned twenty-eight) to have an idea about what really excites me: strong, independent women with a sweet side who can accept me (i have a fairly "loud" or "large" personality) and put up with me but also challenge me. I tend to get bored rather easily (i typically don't divulge this on a first date I'm sure I need to be more open to what I want and need but I also don't want to waste anyone's time if i have a strong suspicion that it won't work out. Maybe i'll end up with someone whom I never would have expected...I have no idea. But at any rate, that's why I don't date more often... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
banal Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Look at it this way. If you were dating someone and she 'found out' that you hadn't dated much, and she broke up with you because of it...she's doing you a favor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tuffly Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Sorry to sound cliche, but what a breath of fresh air! I would love to meet a man who is stimulated by a clever woman rather than a man who dates a string of women for looks, or out of boredom. Glad to know you guys are out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hollyj Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 It shows that you're not an attention seeker that needs their ego stroked and validation from others. It is refreshing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RitaTrue Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Sorry to sound cliche, but what a breath of fresh air! I would love to meet a man who is stimulated by a clever woman rather than a man who dates a string of women for looks, or out of boredom. Glad to know you guys are out there. Ditto! Some girls dont care. Or actually likes the fact that you're looking for substance, and not just ass. Kudos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fern Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I'd prefer it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teale Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Most girls would like this. Knowing that your selective is flattering to them and indicates that your not just going to mess them around. One or two of my friends are of the opinion that a guy that hasn't dated many girls must be a 'boys boy' and immature...but that's definitely a minority, and it really comes down to how you present yourself anyway. If you're confident in dealing with girls, its not going to matter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I would want to know why and also, when you did choose to date, why you chose to date (was it to go out and have fun only or were you looking for a potentially serious relationship?). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superfox Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Woah! Slimpee is beating them off with a stick here! Selective dating is a good thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slimpee Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Woah! Slimpee is beating them off with a stick here! Selective dating is a good thing! I was just wondering if i'm some sort of societal pariah or something...but I think i'm onto something here! Just so you know, ladies, i'm not all perfect... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reboundstudent Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I guess I'll go against the crowds and say that while I wouldn't reject a man outright if he's inexperienced (which is a subjective term anyway) but it does make me fairly wary. Circumstances and explanations around why the guy is "inexperienced" matter a lot, though. Actually, there's a guy I've been on a few dates with that sounds remarkably similar to you. He is very good looking, has a large personality (one word: actor), and has some troubles with ADHD and getting bored easily. He is also inexperienced and "picky"... he and his friends tell stories of women throwing themselves at him, and him brushing them off. He's a very good person and I like him a lot, but I do feel very cautious about the idea of dating him. For one, I wonder if he's so picky that he's rejected several women, AND the fact that he's easily bored, do I really have much of a chance of enticing him for long? A picky guy is hard to please, and an easily bored picky guy is even harder... On top of him also routinely getting hit on, it's pretty much a guaranteed that he'll rub my insecurities the wrong way. Like other posters said, however, it's probably to your benefit that someone like me (who has insecurity/competitive issues) would be wary of dating you, as it means you'll end up dating the super confident equal to your good-looking and large personality. I'd also add that for the majority of women, inexperience is either neutral or a bonus (as other posters have testified to), so sounds like you've got nothing to worry about! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slimpee Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 That actually does sound a lot like me. I don't think I get hit on constantly, like the guy you're dating, but I do have a lot of stories of brushing off women (and then complaining about it later). I would say though, that this guy sounds like he's big-risk, big-reward. Yeah, you may get burned, but you may also have a fantastic guy on your hands. Just don't worry about "being enough"...you'll know if you two are right for each other... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueidealist24 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I wouldn't think it was necessarily bad in itself. I would actually think it was nice that you don't date tons of girls just for the hell of it. The only reason I would think it was bad is if it resulted in a major social awkwardness ON dates, but I don't think that's your case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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