indigoblue Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Have you met someone online and feel like you have to hide how you met from your friends and family? I did and I felt like that played a big role in our break up. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Online as in an online dating site? Why wouldn't you tell people that, there's nothing to be ashamed of. If you met someone on the "link removed" forum I would probably hide that! Link to comment
indigoblue Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 yeah you're right I should have been more open with my friends about it... haha I just don't think my parents would really approve. sigh. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I do because usually you get such jaded responses from disclosing that you met someone from offline. If the first date was at the grocery store or something, I'd just say we met there. Link to comment
indigoblue Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 That's another reason why he wanted me to not tell anyone just yet... for some reason it gave me a bad feeling. Not about him just having to lie all the time to people lol. Link to comment
greywolf Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 When I had to explain how my ex and I met, I always just told the truth even if I was a little embarrassed about it. Embarrassment lasts for a few minutes, lies take more energy than their worth. Link to comment
Princess123 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 There is one way around it. LOL. Say you communicated first through on-line. Your first date was at ____________. So you can technically say you met your SO at ________________ technically first time you two "actually" met. Link to comment
indigoblue Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Lol yeah that's true... I wish I just told the truth about him to begin with. We were thinking of keeping it a secret until a good few months. Link to comment
truegrit Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I met my husband 8 years ago on yahoo personals. At that time it wasn't as common as now + the fact we were in our 50's, so we were a little hesitant to tell people especially our age and older... some were aghast, LOL! It was a little unique and we had fun with it telling people. BTW a lot of people were really interested in how it worked. Link to comment
indigoblue Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Aw. Yeah he even wanted to write to the website that it worked out between us lol ... but later on we know it wouldn't. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 We 'stretched the truth' to certain family members about how we met. My fiance and I met on here actually and to everyone else I just say 'we met online' or 'we met on a advice forum' but I knew how the older members in my family would react to this - like grandparents and such - so I said we met online AND in person at virtually the same time. I mostly did it, yes, so I didn't have to get another 'look' about meeting someone online but it was worth the less headache. Some people have preconceptioned opinions about any online dating, even in this day and ear... Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I don't think it is taboo anymore. everyone does it!! maybe 10 years ago, the perception might have been "only desperate" people do online dating, but now it is mainstream. and i think with good reason! if you walk into a bar, you don't know who is single, who is looking, who is gay, etc.... when you are online, it says 'i am looking for ......' which i think is great. it cuts to the chase. "back in the day" we were set up by relatives and married a nice young man or woman in our village. our society has changed, people aren't born and raised and die in the same village anymore. people move around a lot. i think online dating is great. Link to comment
superfox Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I bluff around the issue but most people assume i met him at one of his gigs, he just comes out and tells everyone he bought me off Ebay Link to comment
Voguester Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I don't get why some people are so against it, I mean come on. Most of my family members are pretty conservative, not technology savy and know nothing much about the internet apart...only the negative things. They and a lot of other people assume you're desperate and can't find a bf/gf the traditional way - I can't stand this perception, it makes me so mad!! I met my bf online and I have adopted the 'i dont give a crap' attitude, I think it's actually very cool that you can find a connection with someone all the way on the other side of the world and that feeling when you meet them in person for the first time - incredible. It would be different I bet if you said you wrote letters to each other like in the old days, the internet just has this stigma attatched to it unfortunately. My mom is constantly making nasty remarks about it like 'you and your internet datingg' grrrrrr! lol that gets my goat. Anyway what can you do? you're happy and that's the most important thing imo. Link to comment
Unknown1607307972 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I hate it when people ask how I met my boyfriend but I don't lie, I just grit my teeth and tell the truth, I hate lying I mean most people are cool with it but I get the occasional "oh....ok then...." remark. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 when I did online dating - I met several guys who lived down the street from me! but we went to different gyms, shopped at different grocery stores, worked different hours, so our paths never crossed. Link to comment
hers Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Aw. Yeah he even wanted to write to the website that it worked out between us lol ... but later on we know it wouldn't. My husband and I met on POF and we wrote the website and said it worked for us and we asked if they could dig up copies of our emails to each other...we never heard back. Ha! Don't be embarrassed...if online dating worked for you, be proud. I get the hesitation, b/c I faced it too, but really, I'm proud that I met someone I love, even if it was online, and that's what people are happy about for me. Link to comment
sidehop Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 It's socially acceptable versus back say 10 years ago. More people are used to hearing about all the marriage and how they met their S/O. We pretty much tell anyone that asks. Link to comment
minimini Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I met my husband on a internet dating website 8 years ago. I have no qualms in telling people that's where we met... cause really, why not? People are actually a little intrigued. It's a big world out there. Why would you limit yourself to just the people that live in a certain radius of where you are? Maybe you can present it that way? Link to comment
UnchainedSoul Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I am really hesitant to tell people myself how I met my S/O, because I'm afraid somehow to get judged. Even though eHarmony is a reputable company when it comes to online dating. But even though I feel uncomfortable about it sometimes, I would rather not lie. Bottom line, you found someone you love and enjoy spending time with and have an awesome relationship remember: "Its not the mode of transportation, its the destination" Link to comment
sidehop Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I am really hesitant to tell people myself how I met my S/O, because I'm afraid somehow to get judged. Even though eHarmony is a reputable company when it comes to online dating. But even though I feel uncomfortable about it sometimes, I would rather not lie. Bottom line, you found someone you love and enjoy spending time with and have an awesome relationship remember: "Its not the mode of transportation, its the destination" Oh well, people will judge no matter what; even without any ill intention Link to comment
qwertyukl Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Don't hide from people how you met. I met my fiance online and when we went on our first date my mum and dad were over and asked who I was meeting and I panicked and told them we had been set up by mutual friends because I was worried my mum would freak and not let me see him! Silly I know as I was 26 years old at the time (but I have a very young daughter and I didnt want her calling me out for being an irresponsible parent!). But it turned out he was my soulmate and we are now engaged. But... I still havent told my mum the truth about how we met because I'm so ashamed about lying to her in the first place! She will be more upset that I wasnt truthful to her and I regret lying so much. TELL THE TRUTH - Its always easier in the long run! Link to comment
amistake Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 i have had to face a similar situation. My folks dont understand the concept of meeting someone online. I have been successful till now and he doesnt mind sharing and protecting our secret Link to comment
quirky Posted October 21, 2011 Share Posted October 21, 2011 Erm.., I really wouldn't hesitate at all saying I met someone online. Link to comment
Voguester Posted October 22, 2011 Share Posted October 22, 2011 i have had to face a similar situation. My folks dont understand the concept of meeting someone online. I have been successful till now and he doesnt mind sharing and protecting our secret Yeah mine don't either and I would have happily said 'we met when I went overseas' but unfortunately my family started playing detective, went through my diary and my phone and realized I was in a relationship with someone I had met on the internet. I personally don't care what they think now though and I guess I do see how just telling the truth, being upfront about it would be best...there is completely NOTHING wrong with it and if Im happy, than that's the most important thing. Link to comment
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