MD Geist Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 My most recent issue with dating has been women will surely give me their numbers but will not return my text messages or phone calls. Some have even gone as far to have a very good conversation with me, meet up and such then just completely disappear. What could I possibly be doing wrong? My dating life has improved very little but women have done some horrible things to me and this is one that seems to be very frequent. I don't call and harass them. Maybe I should blow up their message box? I try and remain very moderate as possible and call at the most convenient time for them knowing that they aren't at work or with family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Princess123 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I don't like how people don't respond to texts in a good amount of time excluding professionals who are busy and have a lot going on in their lives. Honestly most people are GLUED to their phones though. It's especially worse in females so if she doesn't respond in a good time frame then off with her head. There is no point in chasing after a female, at all. Chasing is just playing games, find someone mature. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bulletproof Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 How could anyone here possibly tell you why the women you're speaking to lose interest? It could be a million reasons. Maybe you make an okay first impression but when they find out more about you they're turned off. Or, perhaps they were too uncomfortable to say no to giving their phone number out because they felt put on the spot, so then they just don't answer. Everyone flakes sometimes, not just women, btw. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offplanet Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 How could anyone here possibly tell you why the women you're speaking to lose interest? It could be a million reasons. Maybe you make an okay first impression but when they find out more about you they're turned off. Or, perhaps they were too uncomfortable to say no to giving their phone number out because they felt put on the spot, so then they just don't answer. Everyone flakes sometimes, not just women, btw. This is a good point about them maybe agreeing to give their phone number because they are put on the spot and don't know how to say 'no', but know inwardly that they are simply not going to answer the call. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MD Geist Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 And girls always want us to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsuperman Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 It could be any number of reasons. The solution is to move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laura40 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 It happens to us women too!! Men suddenly disappearing!! I know this happens a lot. I don't know how to advise you really!! Just try not to become too emotionally attached to anyone before you're either dating seriously or in a relationship! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galaxo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Disappearing on you is not a horrible thing. They are doing you a favor by not having you waste any more of your time on them. Be thankful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motley802 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Disappearing on you is not a horrible thing. They are doing you a favor by not having you waste any more of your time on them. Be thankful. How is that a good thing? Dropping a line that "I'm not interested" is easy and simple. At least you are not keeping that person hanging and wasting even more time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galaxo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 How is that a good thing? Dropping a line that "I'm not interested" is easy and simple. At least you are not keeping that person hanging and wasting even more time. How is it wasting more time? Live your life, do what you want to do, don't want around for anyone. It would be different if you was in a relationship with the person, or had been going out for a long time. Someone disappearing or not responding after you have known someone for a few weeks or months, you shouldn't be hanging onto already. I will tell someone I am not interested. As far as being told from someone else or them disappearing? Both say the same thing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motley802 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 How is it wasting more time? Live your life, do what you want to do, don't want around for anyone. It would be different if you was in a relationship with the person, or had been going out for a long time. Someone disappearing or not responding after you have known someone for a few weeks or months, you shouldn't be hanging onto already. I will tell someone I am not interested. As far as being told from someone else or them disappearing? Both say the same thing! I agree. But say you know a person for a month or two. You regularly chat with them and meet in person. All of sudden they pull a disappearing act. And may be you like that person. You are wondering whats happening. You keep on thinking may be she/he will get back to me in few days as life must be keeping her/him busy. After week or two if you don't hear back then you forget that person and move on. But that time is wasted isn't it? Instead explaining situation succinctly that I'm not into you will save all the time and hassle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Galaxo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I agree. But say you know a person for a month or two. You regularly chat with them and meet in person. All of sudden they pull a disappearing act. And may be you like that person. You are wondering whats happening. You keep on thinking may be she/he will get back to me in few days as life must be keeping her/him busy. After week or two if you don't hear back then you forget that person and move on. But that time is wasted isn't it? Instead explaining situation succinctly that I'm not into you will save all the time and hassle. I have had people that disappeared that I would had rather they not had. I do not sit around waiting for them, I do not change what I am doing and where I am going, other than she is not going to be there with me anymore. The only time that was wasted was talking to them before they disappeared, never after. Why is it a hassle? If they are into you, they are not going to disappear. Telling you they are not into you, helps how? Are you wanting to find out why? If it is something you cant change, then it is irrelevant. If it is something you can change and want to, you should have already changed for yourself, not for someone else. The change wont hold, and you wont be happy with yourself while your not being true self. One of the hardest things I ever had to do, was to look at myself in a brutally honest way, to figure out what I did not like and wanted to change. Many of those things, any decent person would not have told me anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MD Geist Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 How is that a good thing? Dropping a line that "I'm not interested" is easy and simple. At least you are not keeping that person hanging and wasting even more time. I know right! I had a girl do that with me, It hurt like hell but in the end I would have rather her do that then leave me hanging. I don't know if she still "Could" be interested or not but talk about leading on a guy. I'm pretty frustrated when girls do this with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MD Geist Posted October 10, 2011 Author Share Posted October 10, 2011 Why is it a hassle? If they are into you, they are not going to disappear. Telling you they are not into you, helps how? Are you wanting to find out why? If it is something you cant change, then it is irrelevant. If it is something you can change and want to, you should have already changed for yourself, not for someone else. The change wont hold, and you wont be happy with yourself while your not being true self. One of the hardest things I ever had to do, was to look at myself in a brutally honest way, to figure out what I did not like and wanted to change. Many of those things, any decent person would not have told me anyway. Its better they be honest and opened about it rather than keeping a secret. Girls and some guys truly need to speak up if they aren't happy or not feeling someone out. Being silent certainly doesn't help either! Id rather her come out and say "im not interested" in the beginning than give me the impression I have a chance with her and leads me for however long she feels like doing so. I believe girls use this as a confidence booster. the relationship might be out of our reach but its best to speak up and tell that person instead of being secretive about what they want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motley802 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I'm not saying she/he should explain the reasons why there is no interest. All I'm saying they should simple inform the other person that there is no interest. No other drama. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
motley802 Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Its better they be honest and opened about it rather than keeping a secret. Girls and some guys truly need to speak up if they aren't happy or not feeling someone out. Being silent certainly doesn't help either! Id rather her come out and say "im not interested" in the beginning than give me the impression I have a chance with her and leads me for however long she feels like doing so. I believe girls use this as a confidence booster. the relationship might be out of our reach but its best to speak up and tell that person instead of being secretive about what they want. Exactly. I was once told by a girl that she is not interested in seeing me as she found someone better. It hurt badly for few hours but I knew I moved on quickly rather than waiting for her response for a week and then deciding she is not interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RelaxByWater84 Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 It could be that the girl went on a few dates with a guy and they tried to tell him they weren't interested but the guy would not have it. It might seem like a good idea to them to avoid that confrontation. Another reason it could be that the guy was only interested in hanging out as friends and if she would tell him, he might laugh at her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymous 6 Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Unfortunately I have done this once or twice, if its been more than 2 days and she has not said anything, called or texted- either she lost her phone, broke her phone, or she is just not that interested in you. I remember my first date after a boyfriend and I had broken up, I liked the guy- but I was still hung up on my ex. Usually, if a girl does not respond to you, its probably better that way. Go find a girl that cant wait to talk to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorshammer Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Its either you didnt attract them, or didnt show much compatibility (which is part of attraction). If you are funny, confident, and help transition the conversation into finding what she is interested in, discussing it and knowing about it, can attract them enough for a round 2. Some women wont give you a second chance if you are just attractive, others wont make you a priority if they feel you only like them because THEY look attractive, thats why its important to share experiences and interests to like them as a person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stay_home Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 People flake out when they lose interest. Why she lost interest is beyond any of us on the board. And I don't think it's illegal to flake out, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alezia Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Usually it's just an easy form to deal with really insistent guys. You know, the type for who you've told them had a boyfriend and are still looking to arrange a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stand Strong Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Girls flake because in the moment to agreeing they are emotionally interested in what was planned. Later, they just don't "feel" it or are just relaxing/doing something they feel would be more emotionally stimulating (exciting/more interesting) The key is to make her feel like she'll have a better time hanging out with you than anything else she can do. Which is why I sometimes avoid making plans on the weekends. Make a Tuesday interesting for her or some odd day in the middle of the week. There is something to do everyday. Not just the weekends. We've all said we'd call someone one but changed our mind later (or just me?) so it's basically the same thing... also, it's good to not care and have a back up. A way to minimize: Give them two options and have them pick. They are less likely to flake on their own plans of something they clearly want to do. "Do you want to go have ice cream or see a movie?" If she says it doesn't matter, insist that it does/say that isn't one of the options you gave her (jokingly of course) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MD Geist Posted December 13, 2011 Author Share Posted December 13, 2011 Girls flake because your not perfect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thorshammer Posted December 13, 2011 Share Posted December 13, 2011 I keep it moving, no one is a princess. I dont chase women, if they dont share the same amount of effort as me, then i can return their "flaking" and distance as well. I remember this one girl that was playing this push and pull BS and i saw right through it. She wanted to be a little princess, so i went distant and careless on her and dropped off the face of the earth. Then she started throwing feeler messages, then started throwing the kitcken sink asking what I didnt like her. I dont deal with flakes or princesses. I cut them off immediately, they dont exist for me, just like i dont dwell with the gold-diggers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imsuperman Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 I keep it moving, no one is a princess. I dont chase women, if they dont share the same amount of effort as me, then i can return their "flaking" and distance as well. I remember this one girl that was playing this push and pull BS and i saw right through it. She wanted to be a little princess, so i went distant and careless on her and dropped off the face of the earth. Then she started throwing feeler messages, then started throwing the kitcken sink asking what I didnt like her. I dont deal with flakes or princesses. I cut them off immediately, they dont exist for me, just like i dont dwell with the gold-diggers. This is the way to go about it. I approach it like this as well. You have to not be so attached with the outcome of individual women. There will eventually be those that come along and are clear about they want. If certain ones like to keep everything a guessing game or try to make you jealous, do nothing. It's their problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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