ycmanvs Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I think I am starting to like being single. I am dating casually, but nothing serious and I am actually enjoying my life...weird... Last year, around this time, my ex and I broke up for the second time. It seems that I have finally come to terms with the fact that I am not "relationship material" because I seem to only like unavailable men and get turned off by most "normal" guys. I used to think this was a huge problem and I tried to change, but now I am starting to see that my single lifestyle works for me...so why fight my nature? I have a ton of close friends and I am very close to my family. I am very successful at work and I am becoming active in my community. I really do not feel the need to get married or have children... Of course, now that I've said it, I will probably fall madly in love, when I least expect it, right? Link to comment
thejigsup Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Just because you fall madly in love does not mean you have to get married. I have loved deeply, but always rejected the offers of marriage. You are finding out why I did this. Some of us function better and are happier being single. I love my life and see it as a gift I don't necessarily have to share with anyone else. If I do decided to share it, he has to be VERY special! Link to comment
HangInThere Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Not everyone in this world is suitable to get married and have children. And getting married/having children is not the only option for everyone in this world. It is so normal to be single and happy. Those who feel like they must have someone in their life in order to be "complete and happy" do have issues with their self-identity and self-acknowledgement. It took me 15 years to realize that only when you are comfortable and confident with yourself, you will likely to meet the one who's special enough for you to share life with. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 I agree with you both. I am so much happier now than I've been in a long time. I finally have my sense of self back and my identity. I finally see that I do not have to be with a guy to be happy. Link to comment
Jetta Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I was married with children and well it obviously didn't suit me because I'm no longer in that role that I felt was a lie in the first place. So go with nature, my nature likes relationships because I fear disease and prefer to be somewhat monogamous, but I do tire of the same old sex thing. Link to comment
blackhawks1287 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 How old are you if you don't mind? Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 I am 42. I've been in a few long term relationships, but never married. I went to med school, then law school and did a lot of travel...I see life like an adventure and have tried to experience as much as possible....of course I wish I could find someone who could keep up with me, but that is unlikely...as I need very little sleep....and am always on the go. Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 I find it rather interesting that no one is responding to these posts. It seems that people are always more than happy to help and talk about relationships, but if I post about being ok with my life, no one has anything to add....hmmmm.... Link to comment
Slimpee Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Granted, i'm only 28 but i've been single most of my life. While I wish I had a special lady friend, I would much rather be single and free than one of those people who jump from relationship to relationship and have to have someone in their life to feel validated. I'm in law school now...is it a lawyer thing? Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Granted, i'm only 28 but i've been single most of my life. While I wish I had a special lady friend, I would much rather be single and free than one of those people who jump from relationship to relationship and have to have someone in their life to feel validated. I'm in law school now...is it a lawyer thing? It could be. Most of my friends who are attorneys have this issue. I think we like our independence and we love logic, so trying to navigate relationships, which are based on emotion, turns out to be more difficult. Although some of my work friends are married, they are very independent people. Perhaps we just need to find people who put up with us and understand how we think. Link to comment
Slimpee Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 It could be. Most of my friends who are attorneys have this issue. I think we like our independence and we love logic, so trying to navigate relationships, which are based on emotion, turns out to be more difficult. Although some of my work friends are married, they are very independent people. Perhaps we just need to find people who put up with us and understand how we think. That's exactly what I do. I try to apply rational thinking to matters of the heart and end up overthinking...I shoulda been an artist or something What kind of people are your attorney friends married to? Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 That's exactly what I do. I try to apply rational thinking to matters of the heart and end up overthinking...I shoulda been an artist or something What kind of people are your attorney friends married to? Well, the attorney friends are also artists....musicians....dancers....poets....writers....painters...etc....it's like we need a creative outlet to balance the logical side....the spouses are usually just stay at home artists.... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 But many attorneys dated long before going to law school or even deciding to be attorneys (same with doctors) and I'm not sure you can so broadly define someone's personality by the job they choose. What happened with the guy you were dating? If you are happy being on your own then that's all you need to know - your post sounds very self-aware and self-honest and I don't see you making this decision from a cynical point of view -great!! Link to comment
ycmanvs Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 But many attorneys dated long before going to law school or even deciding to be attorneys (same with doctors) and I'm not sure you can so broadly define someone's personality by the job they choose. What happened with the guy you were dating? If you are happy being on your own then that's all you need to know - your post sounds very self-aware and self-honest and I don't see you making this decision from a cynical point of view -great!! Nothing happened to him. We keep in touch. I have not felt like seeing him recently and the few times he decided to stop by, I was not home. He does not seem to understand that he needs to call first or make a date, so he started to annoy me. Link to comment
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