octour Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 My ex girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago. We dated for 3.5 years. She met someone while we were dating and lied to me about it. 2 months later, after saying she doesn't want to be in a relationship or will ever get married, she married this guy at the justice of the peace. She asked me to marry her after our first 2 months together too. This is the most bazaar thing I have even been a part of and it hurts like hell. Especially because I was having a ring made and was going to ask her to marry me. How can a person jump directly from one LTR into another and be married already? What's that say about the guy she married as well? Link to comment
Lester Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Yep, very weird. Maybe she did you a favor? Link to comment
Eocsor Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Sounds like you dodged a bullet. She doesn't care who she marries just that she does marry. Link to comment
octour Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 Yes Eocsor, that's what friends and family tell me. She asked me to marry her after only 2 months as well but I thought it was too soon. Even though I thought she was a terrific girl and loved her. I just don't know how she could do this with another guy immediately after me, or while she was with me. He's from England and if I didn't know any better he is going to use her to get his Green Card. When she throws herself at you, she really throws herself at you. I hope for her sake that he is not doing this. And I hope for his sake too. I still really care for this girl as this is all very new to me and it still hurts like hell. I am not hoping that this blows up and she comes crawling back, but if he is using her, he will regret it. Link to comment
octour Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 I just really wish I could somehow, or with the help of somebody here, realize how I dodged a major bullet. It's just not sinking in. Link to comment
Stay_home Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I just really wish I could somehow, or with the help of somebody here, realize how I dodged a major bullet. It's just not sinking in. Well, for starters, nobody in their right mind would ever marry someone after two months of dating. You just can't scientifically know a person that well after two months to say "I do". I'm not going to say that it hasn't been done before, probably much sooner that, but is it normal. No. Hell no. Second of all, there are two things to decipher here. A) Is she marrying because she really loves the guy or B) Is she marrying because she just wants to be married. There's a difference, Octour. Huge difference. And chances are if she asked you to marry her after two months, LIED to you, then asked and married the new guy two months into the relationship, she just wants to be married. Sounds pretty screwed up to me. Link to comment
Eocsor Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 As has been said, she's not in love with anyone, just in love with the idea of marrying someone. Do you really want to be with someone like that. Also, she's had sex with this guy now. Chances are from the way it sounds she was involved with him before she left you. Do you want someone wh can't be faithful. You aren't in love with her, you are in love with who you thought she was. She has shown she isn't that girl. Time to move on and start to heal. Link to comment
Lester Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 You aren't in love with her, you are in love with who you thought she was. She has shown she isn't that girl. Time to move on and start to heal. I think Eocsor really sums it up here. It hurt for awhile but will get better really fast. She sounds like a modern psychology class in a dress. PS, Run like hell if she comes crawling back. Link to comment
octour Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 I really appreciate your responses guys. I am a lot further along in the healing process than I was a month ago. And its responses like these that are helping me realize that this happened for me, not against me. And Eocsor I think nailed it on the head, I too think I was in love with who I thought she was. And maybe that's what I am dealing with right now. I'm disappointed in myself for not seeing this earlier or if I did, I subconciously chose to ignore it. Above all, the biggest lesson I have learned is that when you get to the point of contemplating marriage, You not only marry the girl you marry the girl's family. And with all the lying, beating, and cheating that has gone on and continues to go on in this family, I should be counting my blessings. In addition to what I have shared here, she also cannot go a day without having a drink. It wasn't until the end of our relationship that I found out she was having 2glasses of wine before we would go out to dinner (just about every night) and then have another two at dinner. That is an entire bottle of wine. She is repressing some serious issues and needs a serious amount of professional help. There is no chance that I would even think about taking her back when this blows up. I feel really sorry for her, but the only thing I will give her is the name of a really good psychiatrist. Link to comment
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