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Anyone ever dated an ex's bestfriend and they ended it because they felt guilty?

Fela Kuti

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Hi, just want to share a story and seeking for people with similar experience.


So, I was seeing this girl for about 4 months. Since the beginning, she planned to tell her best friend about this but just hadn't had the courage so she was kinda stalling, waiting for the right moment, and just went along with me. But she did say, "I can't promise you anything."


Then in the last month of our "relationship" I started to escalate things. Apparently she wasn't too enthusiastic about this and started to pull away and being distant for a couple of days. She told me that she didn't want to get too serious before she cleared this with her best friend. I said okay, and I started to pull back too.


A week later, she dropped the bomb. She said she couldn't continue with me because she just didn't feel right about us. Even if the best friend had given her approval, she was sure their friendship would be awkward.


Of course I was disappointed, thought she chickened out. I even kinda felt I had been strung along. Other possibilities also popped up on my mind, like there's somebody else or her IL dropped. But I didn't say any of this to her, of course. I just said, "Well, if that's what you want I won't argue." When she asked, "We're still friends, right?" I spontaneously answered, "You bet." Maybe that's a mistake but doesn't matter because now I'm NC-ing her anyway.


I also regret my decision to escalate things. Had I take it slower, maybe I'm still seeing her now.


Any comments are welcome

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Hey. I was in a similar situation but in a 2 year relationship. (the "said that "you bet will be friends" with her part). She wanted to be friends and I too spontaneously answered that "she was the most special girl in my life and I would never split us off"..


Anyway, an amazing person from this forum gave me the advice to write her a letter or e-mail, explaining I didn't mean what I said at that moment, because I was overcome with feelings for her. Maybe you should do the same. If you don't know what to write, check the helpful post I had " "..

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