Does my ex have the opportunity to "miss me" if...

[Tussin]

Hello,

 

I wanted to ask your opinion regarding specific questions I have about being Facebook friends with your ex.

 

In my case, my ex was the dumper, so I have been LC for a while, while we cleared up some loose ends regarding personal property and some financial stuff.. and now that has been taken care of for the most part, NC for two weeks now.

 

But all along we have remained Facebook friends, but none of our communication has occurred thru Facebook. We (or at least I) check in occasionally to see what the other has been doing. Frankly it looks like she has been kinda miserable. I know she feels guilty about the breakup now. She seems to have a negativity in her comments to other people and seems sort of depressed. It appears that she broke up with me because she had the GIGS, but now is all alone and unhappy. Meanwhile I have been out having a good time with photos of me living it up with other women and in general, it is true I have probably already bounced back from the breakup 85% or so. I have been going out, making new friends, my career is doing great.. and I post happy updates on my Facebook.

 

So in terms of the general opinion on "Getting Back Together" (assuming that my ex visits my profile from time to time and sees me basically moving on) is this working for me or against me?

 

Now the second question is that when we did date, I had a lot of photos of the two of us on Facebook and she is still tagged in the pictures. On her profile page, those top five pictures still show her with me together. But on my profile, I have already been tagged in many more pictures and basically the relationship is way in the past. It has been suggested to untag her from the pictures (but not delete the pictures) as a gesture that I have solidified my resolve to move on, and so it doesnt look like I am trying to hang on to her. What do you feel about that suggestion? Supposedly that will really give her the opportunity to "miss me." so to speak. Her profile will be void of those photos of the two of us, although she can always go and look at them on my profile if she wants. Someone told me that people always want what is just out of reach, and this will sort of trigger that. Furthermore, she might be using them (me) as a security blanket. I mean really it seems weird that she broke up with me, yet it appears that we are still a couple according to her Facebook page. What is your advice/opinion on that?

 

Now I do not want to unfriend her or block her on Facebook. I am leaving the door open for a reconciliation when/if she is ready. Honestly I am working on myself and am not so wrapped up in her as it may seem, and as I was when the breakup occurred about 6 weeks ago or so...

 

thanks

[chitown9]

I would delete any and all pictures of her on your facebook page....chi

[Tussin]

I dont even look at the pictures anymore, but other people might. As a matter of fact, other guys who check out her profile, and click on a pic, will get sent to my profile, since it is my photo gallery. Its kinda funny actually.

[Tussin]

And it's not just me who has photos of the two of us together. Two of her girlfriends took pictures of us together and posted them, quite a few actually. And we are both still tagged in the photos. I would think that if she was done with me, and her friends agreed with the decision, they would have removed those photos. This is another hint that leads me to believe she regrets the breakup. In a way it feels like a Mexican standoff and I see the humor in it.

 

In any case, there are actually about seven of us (friends of hers and friends of mine who are all Facebook friends now because of our past relationship)....

[DylanNotorious]

Your making a huge mistake keeping her as a facebook friend. You should de-friend her straight away.

 

When she gets another boyfriend how will you feel then? Keeping ex's on your friends lists is just asking for trouble and drama.

[1guygirl]

youre resolved to moving on yet checking up on her. if you really wanna move on, untag, and unfriend.

[RitaTrue]

Your making a huge mistake keeping her as a facebook friend. You should de-friend her straight away.

 

When she gets another boyfriend how will you feel then? Keeping ex's on your friends lists is just asking for trouble and drama.

 

This^

 

youre resolved to moving on yet checking up on her. if you really wanna move on, untag, and unfriend.

And BLOCK.

[madine]

I unfriended her and deleted everything. I think it is weird to have posts and pictures up where you look like a happy couple for everyone to see whilst you are no longer together and - in a lot of cases - not even on speaking terms.

 

Remove it all.

[madine]

Also, don't use Facebook to get her back by making her jealous posting updates and pictures which make it seem you're living it up. I' d rather try to provide her with as least as possible info about what you're up to. Let her wonder...

 

But even better is not to play such games at all and focus completely on yourself for a while.

[Imthatguy]

Also, don't use Facebook to get her back by making her jealous posting updates and pictures which make it seem you're living it up. I' d rather try to provide her with as least as possible info about what you're up to. Let her wonder...

 

But even better is not to play such games at all and focus completely on yourself for a while.

 

Agreed. Stop with the games, who cares if she has the opportunity to miss you or not. I understand you want to leave the door to reconciliation open, but you don't need to let her have access to what you've been up to in order to do that. If she decides she wants to she will find a way to contact you, and if not then you're healthily working on moving on.