Advice

[dwas528]

she's been out ofvtown since Wednesday and she has texted me random stuff each day. today for instance she texted me that she found a jacket she wanted. not something I needed to know.

 

is this good? its not giving her time to think......

[dwas528]

first dying back and she texts me at noon

[dwas528]

One thing that i am confused about, it seems like the longer we spend together, as the night "winds down" the more fidgetty/nervous she gets. she changes, like, her voice etc. She will constantly say she is tired but when I offer, she never leaves or wants to go home and will usually stay an hour or two more. And its lie she never looks for a reason to leave. Usually when she does leave, its like 1am(like last night). I dont get it, like a few times last night, she said she was tired etc, but she ended up staying an hour longer, she said it a few times.

[oldenoughtoknow]

She either has the hots for you, or your her BFF. I really think she's hot - no one spends that much time with someone otherwise. She's waiting for you to make a move...

[dwas528]

She either has the hots for you, or your her BFF. I really think she's hot - no one spends that much time with someone otherwise. She's waiting for you to make a move...

 

She had a job interview today, texted me when she got out, said she was thinking going to grab lunch, if I wanted. She didnt even go home to change. She looked so great dressed up like that. I had just gotten a haircut and she noticed it. Said "did you get a haircut?!, it looks good!" She is also coming over tonight after her class.

 

I dont know. I mean i think she does too,but i have trouble getting the "mood" set, like snuggling, i mean how to suggest it or whatever you know?

[dwas528]

Ok, now here is the thing, my brother(yes him) texted me the other night, saying this girl told him i was living here now and that her and I went to this play together. I responded with it was fun. he called but i didnt answer.

 

So i texted her the next day, just to let her know(this was today(weds)) and she responded with "cool, he will be here at like 6pm for a job interview". So we kind ahad plans but i told her dont worry about it, she coul duse the time to get ready to hang out with him. She said she doesnt need ot get ready then put a "haha", so she came over at like 2pm. Anyways, so we put together this furniture piece that ive had. Now here is the thing and I guess this is what i am concerened about. Are women aware of when they are wearing like low cut shirts, how much you can see etc? because this was ridiculous, she had NO problem leaning RIGHT in front of me to work on this thing and I am telling you, all I had to do was take a quick peek over there and I could have seen EVERYTHIGN down her shirt, it was tha tloose of a shirt. She HAD to be aware of that right? I mean, when we put something else together before, she was aware of it and would "pull the shirt up" so to speak, but this time she was leaning forward, in my direction to work on this thing.

 

Of course i did my best not to look, and that was tough(i think about her sexually all the time, but i dont want to be THAT guy either), but she HAD to be aware right? I mean my hand was also on her knee while i was doing something and she didnt budge or anything. Our faces were also VERY close at one point and she didnt pull away.

 

Having said all of that, we hung out until like 5, then she went home, again this was around the time my brother was finishing his interview and I guess they would be hanging out. I dont get it. I know they rented a movie, but thats all I know. This girl has said time and again she isnt going to "rekindle" anything with him and I wouldnt even care that she was hanging out with him if her and I were together. Its the not knowing what her and I are that drives me nuts an dmakes me feel insecure.

 

I dont know man, its really * * * * ing with me, sorry, she says my haircut looks good the day before and its just, i dont know man. Im lost.

[oldenoughtoknow]

You're not making a move. That makes her a free agent to do whatever she wants - I told you she's not going to wait for you forever.

[dwas528]

And i get that, but how do I know she WANTS me to make a move? how do I know?

 

I have to kiss her, i have to, i need to say " * * * * her feelings" this has to be about me right now, but how do I do that?

[dwas528]

I told her that I was taking her out to a nice restaurant tonight(i named the place) and to save the excuses for someone who cares.

 

She said she cant my brother is in town until tomorrow. Understandable i guess, im still talking to her over text right now, i dont know like what all of this means, this is a NICE restaurant, so idk.

[dwas528]

Ok, but, this is what i mean. Its clear my brother is in town until tomorrow. I did not expect to hear from her at all the rest of the day/night. So she goes to class tonight(im assuming my brother is staying at her place), and she randomly facebook messages me that she can "see my apartment from her school window". The thing is, she NEVER, EVER facebook chats me, EVER.

 

So we chatted a little. I complimented her, called her sexy. Called her cute. And she did NOT tell me to stop with the compliments. But then i made it seem I was busy and that I had to go. She was also "teasing" me. About my favorite sports team etc. And i called her a tease and all of that. Again, no comment telling me not to. I do not get it.

 

I dont THINK she wants to rekindle anything with him. I really dont. At the same time he is "staying" there so I dont know. Granted, he has NOWHERE else to stay but. She has told me many times that she has no intention of getting back with him. She has told me things about him and things she does not like about him and whenever she really mentions him around me its usually in a "putting down manner" His favorite band sucks, etc.

 

Like, things that, she would nto be able to trust me speaking to him and not bringing something like that up. LIke she has said some not nice things about the relationship. Hell even yesterday when she knew he was coming, she made fun of an act of "kindness" he tried when she was angry, saying it only made her angrier(in relation to me, when I did the same thing, not because she was angry at me, but because i just thought she would like it. She said what I did made sense, him, it just made her more mad)

 

So like, how could she i mean, if he and I hung out, and he even brought her up, like she has told me things about their relationship and the things she hates/hated about him that it would probably piss him off if I knew. You know? like and she told me, he brother, how could she expect me not to bring it up or whatever in just general conversation with him?

 

Basically, i dont think she would say those things if she were still thining about being in a relationship with him. if that makes sense.

[dwas528]

Ok, well i think it is apparent that i have to kiss her the next time we hang out(friday or saturday), so i would just like you or someone to address these things to maybe help me feel more comfortable.

 

1.) Now when this happens, like there will be no mood set. My apartment isnt really set up in a "romantic" way. Since i just moved in. I have a bed and I have a chair as far as furnature goes. I have entertainment center all that but usually one of us sits on the chair the other the bed. If we watch a movie or whatever, thats probably how it will be as my bed is a "twin" bed. So how do you think i should do that, just kiss her when we aer standing maybe in the kitchen together, or somewhere in teh room. Or just walk by wherever she is sitting and kiss her. I dont think i will have an "excuse" to lean in unless one of us is usuing a laptop, so i think it will be rather obvious the intent. How do you think i should go about that? Odds are good, best case scenario, we have a glass of wine or two.Keep in mind, we havent held hands or officially been out on a date yet, so whats the best way to maybe "set" an informal mood or do I even need one you think?

 

2.) are there signs to look for she wants to be kissed? Body language. Here is the thing with this girl, in my presense we talk a LOT. about her because I am generally interested. She will start to play with her hair, touch her lips, cross and uncross her leg, one over the other and back etc, gently pat her uppper chest and play with her neck in a very subtle, i dont want to say sensual, but in a way like that. These signs generally increase as i make more eye contact, especially letting it linger and as we talk more. It eventually gets to a point where she is almost in a trance. Like she starts to figet with things, such as her eys etc. Like and her voice will get lower and her answers more one lined ish and quick. Not like shes annoyed or in a rush, but it almost seems like her breathing is heavier and thats whats forcing it out. she will kind of lose track of the show or whatever we are doing at the time. But when I dont continue the conversation or whatever, she will pick it up herself but with quick questions or elaborations. She also will eat very quickly like chips, by quickly i mean rapidly like eat a whole bag of chips, or go through a few cans of soda. This "trance" almost seems like she is doing her best to try and fight some feeling. And I always give her an out, if she wants to leave. Always, and she never does. She even says stuff like "im so tired" and will yawn and stretch but will then stay for another 2 hours maybe once or twice saying that again. Even though I tell her she can leave whenever, she doesnt. One time she had a soda bottle and was literally playing with it in her hands and then had it like in her mouth(it was empty) as she was in this "trance" state. i dont even want to say trance but its the best way to describe it I guess. Like she is so nervous, but not in a creeped out want to leave way, almost anxious? My GUT tells me she is very turned on during these "trances" and she is either nervous because of it or is trying to fight it because she thinks of the "drama" that being with me might entail. Or maybe shes not thinking at all. Thats almost what it seems like, because its like she will lose train of thought or whatever it was she was doing. Sometimes she will mumble over her words, talks quicker/softer and shorter answers, yet asks me questions in this way if i let there be silence or she will elaborate on a previous point as I mentioend above. Again almost like her breathing is getting deeper/increasing. One time she struggled opening my door when she was leaving because she kept playing with the lock. This turns me on SO much, SO much because i feel like I am having an effect on her, a positive effect.

 

Listen, i am comfortable saying I love this girl. I wouldnt say it to her yet, but I now i love her. And I have spent so much time with her, id like to think i nkow her body language well. I just "feel" that i do. Do you think my gut feeling is correct? Id really like to know im not being biased here.

 

3.) My brother was staying with her these last two days. As I told you. Having said that, I texted her today "I am taking you out to *a fancy/datey italian restaurant* tonight, save the excuses for someone who cares" Her response was "I cant *my brothers name* is in town til tomorrow" We texted quickly about something else, then i expected shed be hanging with him and I wouldnt hear from her til tomorrow(friday). Well I am sitting at home a few hours later and shes in class(i am assuming my brother is chilling at her place til shes out or whatever, i dont know) and she gets on facebook chat. Now usually when we are both on, we never chat, but sure enough I get a chat message from her, saying something stupid and almost redundant cause we have joked about it before. It almost seemed like an excuse to just talk to me. Anyways, i know they rented a movie last night and went to a movie tonight. Now i think she knows I know he is staying with her. I think that is understood. I bring up the movie thing, because, she said when their relationship was on the extreme downturn, all they would do is go to movies because she did NOT want to talk to him, and it was "easy" to just go to a movie. Those are basically her words verbatim. The thing is with me, even if we rent a movie, we never get through it or even if we are watching tv focus is usually lost and she ends up slipping into the "trance" state as I mentioned above because we just talk about everything. her, me, everything. And I show general interest because I do I CARE, because I let my eyes linger on her. She starts showing all of those signs, so its like, the movie or show is on, but we are so focused on teh conversation. When we "do" things, we DO things, and a lot of it involves talking and getting to know more about each other, me follwoing up on things i want to know about her etc. Like she likes talking to me, because she is never "annoyed" with it, she has never ONCE told me to shut up or stop taling during a show or tv or sport program. I even ask questions about the shows(they are her favorite shows, I record them for her, I dont really watch tv, but i like watchin gher shows with her becasue I know she enjoys them and I mean i give htem a shot and she has good taste in shows because I seem to enjoy them too). Having said all of that, do you think him being here the last 2 days(he had a job interview) changes anything? Her text, to me, seemed like she wanted to but kinda felt liek she was annoyed he was here, like it was preventing her from hanging out with me. Am i reading too much into that? Not that that really matters to me. I mean I still complimented her on her looks, flatter her. she does NOT tell me to stop either, she doenst take offense.

 

I called her a "Sexy rudolf"(her nose got red with the changing weather) and I said she was cute. This was all today over the facebook chat. She has to know that a "friend" doesnt say that to a "friend". I feel like if she wasnt interested at all, she would tell me to stop saying things like that. I tell her she looks gorgeous, beautiful etc, when its appropriate and it is all genuine, because im very nervous giving out those compliments to her. And sometimes she will sarcastically repeat what i say in a "flattered" voice almost and kinda chuckle/giggle a little. Very subtle. If she "got back together" with him, i doubt she would have been ok with me calling her sexy and all of that. Or she owuld have used that opportunity to tell me she was "giving it another try" with him, because she had no problem telling me that before she moved here.

 

I dont know, i would just like your opinion on all of this. Someone else, an outsiders opinion. Especially the body language. I am trying to not play it up at all, tahts kinda what I notice. Im not sure if shes one to play with her hair neck lips any of that stuff in public. Generally it doesnt seem she does though, but i havent observed her much outside of it being us personally.

 

And just anything else i should look for, or how to go for the kiss or know when to, i just want someone elses opinion to help me feel comfortable, do you think she is physically/sexually attracted to me? I mean i just want a kiss right now, but do you think she wants one? will be accepting?

 

 

thank you so much, sorry for the length, im just very concerned i want to be as sure as I can. Thanks so much. this helps, i need this. i need the confidence

[dwas528]

Also, just one last thing. I am physically more in shape then my twin. Part of the reason she "lost interest" in him was because he becamse kinda overweight and she was no longer physically attracted to him(now shes not shallow, like im not by any means ripped, but im in shape, her terms was "he let himself go", i mean he was never "in shape" when they first started dating but its clear he stopped caring about how he looked)). so THIS is what I dont get. This really doesnt have too much to do with me "kissing her" or "making a move" but in general:

 

A.) I am more attractive than him, at least physically.

 

B.) She enjoys my company

 

C.) We can talk about anything for any amount of time

 

D.) She has flat out said "If you were not here, id probably have gone crazy, thank you for being there for me"

 

E.) I've treated her genuinely, just look at my posts from earlier, ive not had bad intentions at all, i love this girl, if anything my caring about her is what is holding me back.

 

F.) I am not insecure as a personality trait. ABOUT her I am, but not AROUND her. She did NOT like that my twin was socially awkward, I am the complete opposite when it comes to that. I am great with people, and people generally like being around me.

 

G.) My twin is smart, but so am I. My twin is also very pretentious and arrogant when it comes to that. Very competitive. Id like to think I am just as smart as him(though i didnt study the same thing as him in school), only i am very easy going and laid back.

 

H.) She HATED that he was passive aggressive. Me? I LOVE life, LOVE IT. I am very comfortable sharing my feelings for the most part. I dont let anything build up, besides this, i have NO drama in my life, my thing is why? life is too short. You can worry about something or you can work to fix it. Me? Sure ive encountered problems and worries, but I am being completely honest, going as far back as I can remember, late middle school freshman year of high school, what got me through stressful times was telling myself at night "at least I will be able to see her(being the girl i am talking about now)" and you know what? ive done pretty damn well for myself to be honest, and i dont mean that in an arrogant way at all.

 

I.) I TRULY believe in her. And her ability to reach her dreams whatever they really are. And I ask her, but she never gives me a straight answer, but we are young, she doesn thave to know, but i believe she is capable. And i mean that with all of my heart. If I didnt, i wouldnt be there for her when shes drunk in bed because her friends in the area are self absorbed assholes. I wouldnt comfort her like I do over anything. I understand she needs to find herself and because I truly love her I am ok with being there for her. I know she is NOT that girl, lying in bed drunk. I know who she truly is. But I also understand the need to get taht out of your system. She never was able to do that in undergraduate, i mean, i never did either, but i didnt need to. I dont think, i was missing anything, but i can understand her wanting to hang out with these poeple because she never got to. And thats why im there, to clean up any messes, because I understand and I truly truly care.

 

J.) I dont feign my interest in her. I am generally interested in her family. And from the stuff she has told me, i know id love to be aroudn them. THey seem so fun loving, and just genuinely happy people. Dont get me wrong, my family is too, but its refreshing to know her family is just as quirky and fun. I LOVE that so much.

 

K.) It comes easy. by saying that, i mean remembering things she tells me and all of that. It ALL comes easy. I dont have to use a mnemonic device or anything to remember dates, names or anything, i truly remember because I care. Little things, very little things. Maybe its a curse. I sometimes laugh at myself, because I will go to a mall to kill time or whatever when im bored and I will jsut see random things that I remember she mentioned liking or would like or even that i know she woudl enjoy. Im smart about buying this stuff, i dont go out of my way, and a lot fo it i dont buy, but I cant help but smile when i see these things you know?

 

L.) And lastly, seeing her happy, makes me happy. Buying her things, as I try to explain to her, though i havent really sat down and laid this all out like im about to, but I do what I want. I am VERY self absorbed when it comes to that. Seeing her happy, makes me happy. That is a very selfish thing of me. At the foundation of it. Not that she EVER tells me or ASKS me to buy her ANYTHING, but I do it, to see her reaction, whether or not we are dating or not, i live for the reaction. that gives ME joy. It is very selfish. If buying her something inconvenienced me in any way, or it was something i didnt WANT to do, i wouldnt do it. It is THAT simple. Im not trying to "play the part" of her boyfriend. I dont pay for our dinner because I think I have to because thats what "boyfriends" do. I do it because I WANT to. IF I didnt want to, id have no problem splitting a check or if she was insistent letting her pay. Like ive told her, I dont want anything FROM her, i want stuff WITH her. Same type of concept. I dont keep "score", ESPECIALLY when it comes to financials, we are both young, still college students, finances as far as relationship wise goes should NOT be a high concern because neither of us make much at all. Take for instance, i bought a bottle of red wine for her, i dont like red wine that much. I wouldnt drink it alone. I know one day she will be over and will want a glass or so ofthe red wine. I will probably have one glass too. Though she will probably drink more of it than me(she likes reds), by me having that one glass i consider it "ours", so I dont MIND making that purchase. Does that make sense? Even if I just have one glass and let her take the rest of the bottle. At the same time, if I could not afford to spend the money on teh bottle of wine, i would not have bought it. I dont go out of my way to please her, i dotn bend over backwards because I dont see making her happy as an inconvenience because seeing her happy makes me happy innately. Its very selfish of me.

 

 

Anyways, i mean all of this, like I cant understand why that isnt enough for a "chance". I mean, im not a pushover. Im not insecure. Im GENUINE. Im not trying to be anything im not. Logic tells me she should feel at least physically attracted to me in the looks department cause she was that way with my TWIN at least initially and I am in better shape than him now. And i dont mean that in a shallow way. So to me, like LOGICALLY, i cannot comprehend why she would deny herself of somethign like that. I dont mean it in an arrogant way. I dont mean something like that as in ME, but i mean something so "right". It seemed like when we TALKED about relationshisp and what she likes in them, that those qualities were me. It really did. And it seemed like what she hated in her ex's was the opposite of me. I am not saying i am perfect for her. Not in the least, but, logically, does it not make sense at least to give me a shot?

 

sorry, i was just thinking out loud here, not really a question haha.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Dwas, you're way overthinking all of this. Have some wine and ask her to sit with you during the movie - couch, twin bed, whatever. She'll know what's up. Sit close and snuggle with her. She'll either be receptive or not, but you'll know. If everything comes up green, pick your moment and lean in for a kiss. Done. If she balks at any point, briefly apologize and blame it on the wine. You have an out and you can still remain friends.

[dwas528]

Dwas, you're way overthinking all of this. Have some wine and ask her to sit with you during the movie - couch, twin bed, whatever. She'll know what's up. Sit close and snuggle with her. She'll either be receptive or not, but you'll know. If everything comes up green, pick your moment and lean in for a kiss. Done. If she balks at any point, briefly apologize and blame it on the wine. You have an out and you can still remain friends.

 

Thats the problem, i dont have a "couch" since i just moved haha. I have like a bubble chair that if we were to sit together, one would have to be in the others lap. The bed might work, but it would be lying together, which is better i guess, especially if she says yes.

 

but what do you think about the body language shes giving off? am i reading that stuff right? I just have no idea about this "trance", its so weird but it turns me on when shes so nervous. Im overthinking it becuase I want it to be "special" for her. I kinda want it to mean somethign so all of this other drama is worth ti you know. I want her to really enjoy it. For it to be like magical for her, because i know it will be for me.

 

I also asked her this morning(via facebook), i said "because you didnt really respond to my text yesterday and because you may be sleeping, are you and him back together? I dont care what you all did or whatever, just wondering, also, I am still taking you out to that nice restaurant or another one if you have a different choice" Then i asked her if she was feeling better because last night when she was facebook chatting me she said she felt absolutely sick.

 

I go to thestore and i come back and she texted me "we are not dating, he is just here for the interview".

 

i mean thats good, to me, she didnt get mad at me for inquiring or any of that.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Yes, you're reading that stuff right. Yes, you're overthinking. Yes, it's going to be special for her. No, you shouldn't have sent that message - it sounds insecure. Yes, you need to do something the next time you see her.

[dwas528]

Yes, you're reading that stuff right. Yes, you're overthinking. Yes, it's going to be special for her. No, you shouldn't have sent that message - it sounds insecure. Yes, you need to do something the next time you see her.

\

 

so you do think she is turned on then with those signs? That has to be good then lol

 

She has continued to text me today. Said she lost her debit card. etc. I didnt mean it to sound insecure, and i dotn think she took it as that.

 

so if it WILL be special, how should i go about making it so, just do it? tell her im going to? or just walk up to her and do it? I just want her to be ok with it regardless, so im imagining wait untili shes showing those signs? id imagine when she starts playing with her hair and lips and gets in teh trance state she is at least turned on, so phsycially she wants me to kiss her so she wont be so surprised?

 

sorry i just really want to do it tonight so i want to be comfortable and confident that im reading the signs and everything right. Im not "insecure" just nervous, i dont want to 'miss" haha.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Read my previous post. Don't "just do it." You know the wine and conversation will go okay. Start a movie and ask her to sit on the bed with you (do you have a bunch of pillows?). She will no doubt know what you're thinking, and she will either be okay with it or not. If she's good with that, start by sitting close to her. See how she responds to that. Watch the movie for a while and move to snuggle and get more comfortable. If you're still good, watch the movie for a while and move so that your heads are close together - you don't want to have your head on her lap and have to move all the way up towards her head - you want to start when you're already close to face to face. Then watch the movie for a bit more and turn and look into her eyes for a few moments. Playing with her hair or lips? Looking like she's in a trance? Good - then lean in for a kiss. She'll know what's going on the entire time, and she'll have an opportunity with each move to let you know if she's receptive or not, and you'll be able to know whether to continue. That will make it special. Whatever you do, don't tell her what you're going to do or just walk up to her and do it. You don't have to have a Hollywood movie set and script to slowly set a mood, build some anticipation and create a great moment.

 

"Have some wine and ask her to sit with you during the movie - couch, twin bed, whatever. She'll know what's up. Sit close and snuggle with her. She'll either be receptive or not, but you'll know. If everything comes up green, pick your moment and lean in for a kiss. Done. If she balks at any point, briefly apologize and blame it on the wine. You have an out and you can still remain friends."

[dwas528]

I have a lot of pillows, so sit on the edge of the bed? or lying laying down. Its like the TV is towards the foot of the bed so we could sit at teh foot of the bed or i have it up against the wall like i can prop pillows up against teh wall thats how i usually watch i use them as like back support. Like leaning against the wall.

 

what about if we dont have wine? should i still do it? waht happens if she doesnt want to "sit ont eh bed with me" should i ask like that?

 

i like that idea, though.

[dwas528]

Also, does the movie matter taht much? I mean iw as thinking maybe a scary movie. But i own some kinda romantic comedies. Before Sunrise/Before Sunset.

 

If you've not seen/heard of them, its basically Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy walking around talking, but then eventually realizing they have chemistry etc and they end up kissing and what not. Very similar to how this girl and I are, as far as what we do. They talk about life in general as well, they are very good movies, but are kinda romantic. But i dont think she is the type of girl taht is into that stuff? I dont know.

[dwas528]

also, i find this cute too, when she is in that "trance" state in general its so sweet. I cant help but smile. I just feel GOOD. Like i cant help but smile, cause i feel i am having a GOOD effect on her, like i am turning her on. Do you think that is the case? And then she starts agreeing with like everything i say haha.

[dwas528]

I mean, she came over last night and we watched black swan. She had like 2 glasses of red wine and was TOAST. She has been sick for the last 5 days like legit. And she ended up just like "resting" in my bed(i wasnt in it, i never invited her to lay with me cause i knew she was getting toast. It was like the more i talked to her the more she drank or whatever. Like she wanted it to happen? Idk.) Before that we had been at a grocery store and the register lady was like "i have to ask, i see you all together all the time "what are you" She instantly almost too quickly blurted out "friends'. But i expected that. THen in the car though she wouldnt like let it die. She didnt keep saying we were friends but she kept going on like in the way of "why would she ask that" but what she was saying wasnt making sense she made it seem like the lady at the register thought her and I looked alike. She had also when she was drunk wen tout of her way to say she didnt even kiss my brother while he was here. WE talked a lot a LOT about sex etc. Not about us but shes so comfortable. And everytime she brings into the fact that people think its weird we even hang out.

 

Anyways, im thinking about when/if she texts me tongith(cause i truly feel she is emotionally attached to me now) responding:

 

Ya, we can. Go see a movie, go to the checkers game or watch hockey here or whatever. But I also want you to know that I will be kissing you tonight, whether it is a goodnight kiss or whatever. And I dont want to hear excuses because that is just what they are.

 

 

I want to let her know ahead of time its coming. I want to be CONFIDENT. Let her know im not playing and by telling her im going to. She always complained her other boyfriends were * * * * * s. Is that ok you think?

[dwas528]

Just a little recent stuff id like an opinion on. I have NOT kissed her yet, but i FEEL like "we" are getting close but i cant be 100% sure

 

 

so she texts me after class on monday "what are you up to tonight" and I said "honestly, nothing, want to entertain me?" She suggests going to get Pizza. So we did that. then we watched an hour long show, it was probably 1130ish by the time it ended. Then we wetn and rented a scary movie. We watched it, afterwards she gets up puts on another tv show says shes tired or wahtever, i say she is welcome to relax in my bed, she said she is sleeping in her bed tonight. Then we watched the end of the show and she slowly left. I wanted to kiss her but i couldnt find the opportunity. Like eye contact and what not is FINE during the movie and during dinner it was GREAT, but when she leaves its like never present there is never a moment, it usually always so awkward. It was 2am by the time she left.

 

she had asked why i kept looking at her in a inquisitive(not annoyed) way, Monday night and thats when she thought we should watch another show. She texted me when she got in at 2 and I told her "oh and I was looing at you because you are beautiful and I didnt know how to say it. Anyways goodnight" She responded at 3am with "goodnight!"

 

I texted her if we were going running on Tuesday and she said ya, so I told her to get her "sexy ass over here and we will do it". She didnt tell me not to say that or whatever. I also said during the run she had great legs. Again, nothing from her telling me to stop. If she did not think of me at least a LITTLE like that wouldnt she tell me to stop it makes her uncomfortable? If she were a lesbian she owuld probably use that opportunity to tell me not to.

 

During dinner monday night(keep in mind she has said a GREAT first date for her would be Pizza), she suggested a REALLY nice pizza place in the CITY(she never wants to go uptown, she NEVER does, thinks its really too fancy), but we went. She made a LOT more eye contact than she usually does. Like usually she seems nervous but she was really looking into my eyes when i talked and all of that. It felt really nice and like she was making an EFFORT almost She was also "checking me out" when i wouldnt be looking, like as we would walk and when id turn shed quickly look up at a building and mention a feature on the building. We actually SPLIT a personal pizza and had an appetizer.

 

Also, SUNDAY night, we kinda got into a fight. She had been drinking and like her behavior is, i mean she hangs out with the wrong people. And she is well aware of it. I have heard her talk about it, but they are her work friends so she likes to hang out with them outside of work but she does not think highly of htem at all. So i had asked why she does it and she kinda got mad "you dont know whats going inside of my head, i dont want to talk about it" over text message. so i was like "thats fine, im just trying to understand, if you want i can still come over, we dont have to talk fi you dont want to" anyway, i went over and we went for a walk, she was still sobering up but we talked. Talked about why she hangs out with them and all of that etc. but then at one point we were talking about "taking risks" and I said "Every risk ive taken including moving here adn whatever has been calculated" and she said "sometimes you just have to take a risk without that you know?" in a tone that almost implied it was referring to us. Ill give an example, you know how whne you are in a conversation with someone and you are speaking in hypotheticals but the tone gives away the fact that the hypothetical refers to themselves? It was eerily similar to that. LIke nothing we really talk about makes me sto pand think like that but whne she said this i kinda was like "wait a minute". Anyways so then as i said above, she texted me on monday.

 

 

here is what happened tuesday:

we went running, really had a fun time. She came back to my place, and we jsut went to drive around before her class. On our way to target(it was getting close to her class time, i knew we weould be late, i think she knew too but she didnt care) we were talking about Pride and Prejudice. and she goes "i love that movie, they did it so well. Everything lead up to a kiss, the tension, it wasnt about sex or anything else, just that kiss and it was so romantic". LIke i had brought up Matthew MacFadyen an actor in teh film and then she went and said that, but like in a way that almost seemed, i dont know. I mean it almost seemed like the way she said it she was referring to us? Again, very similar to what happened sunday about taking risks. I dont know, im thinking maybe it was the tone and how it was a little "different".

 

But i dont know, it just seemed it, it really did, just the way her voice was etc. LIke i had just brought the movie up becuase of an ACTOR and then it went to that. But i dont know how to make it romantic, and i dont know when the right time is. I know how the movie went, but that is quite i mean come on, youve probably read the book or seen the fillm. THat is REALLY romantic. But if thats the type of stuff she finds romantic(i mean i do too) i cant recreate anything close to that

 

Anyway, Tuesday night, I had asked if she wanted to do anything, she said OK but she had work at 5am(she does) and we went to like a French Bakery cafe thats 24 hours. She was again wearing a very lowcut shirt and we were just talking. We can talk about ANYTHING, we are so comfortable. But this time like, we were just sitting down and at one point one of her breasts sas basically showing. Aagin, i tried not to look(she had a bra on regardless but i am a gentleman thats not what i want you know), and i mean she was well aware because she did start to cover up, but she never said ANYTHING about it. Granted i never really looked looked but she would adjust. basically, to me, she HAD to have known you know? Anyways so we are talking about procrastiantion and I said how I always procrastinate and she says "ya sometimes procrastination is good, but other times you really shouldnt" or something like that. Again in the same tone that made me think twice. This is what I mean like, we have talked about a LOT of things. A LOT of personal things, usually her, but i have started to open up more to her too(granted i really when i try and think hard cause i want to share with her, dont have much emotional things that hppened as a younger kid), for something to just tell me to key in on those 3 things. Something about all 3 felt different then the rest of our talks and almost out of place. I try not to read into it but it was just throwing me for a loop. And the fact that she has been making a TON more eye contact with me, I TRULY mean it, like looing DIRECTLY into my eyes, when i talk and what not. When id visit and what not it wasnt like that before. but ive noticed shes really made an effort to like LOOK at me more when she talks etc, i can still tell she is a little nervous/pensive but again, when i am talking or when she talks she looks at me more and what not.

 

Having said all of that, and i know that is a lot, she is with one of her lesbian friends now. IM not really worried because i believe she just really thinks this person is a great person. I am pretty sure she has told me before shes not attracted to her, but shes just a genuinely nice person etc. And im fine with that because it gives her someone to talk to. My brother is also having an interview this week. He had called yesterday when we got back from running, she went on my porch to take the call and kind acame in pissed off. i asked why and she said he wanted to come a day early and she thought he was beign ridiculous. Referred to him as her EX Boyfriend and all of that. Again made it known when he stays there he sleeps on the couch etc. SO i am not worried there. She also basically said "we(her and I)" are going to a movie friday, which even if my brother spends the night thursday(his interview is over dinner at 5 on thursday(accounting firm)), he will be gone friday. And then to hear the thing about Pride and Prejudice on teh way to Target, i mean I just feel like this is her way of trying to tell me to "take the risk, kiss her" But I want it to be romantic now kinda, not set up, but like actually romantic. And i wasnt going to do taht to HER, kiss her, then a day 2 days later have her letting my brother spend the night(not even sure if he will) for the interview cause he has nowhere else to go. Im thinking Friday we are probably going to a movei and Saturday we have like a Concert we are going to thats a costume party. I figure one of those nights I want to kiss her. But I guess what I am asking is, based on this new stuff, do you think i am "reading her" right? Can I take this as her trying to get me to understand she wants me to kiss her, take the risk etc?

[dwas528]

Let me add that renting a horror movie on monday was HER idea(after Pizza). And midway through she wanted to lay on the floor. And she stretched out her legs and the way she was laying gave me perfect sightline of her whole body and i felt like she was checking to see if I was checking her out out of the corner of her eye. Thats when I offered if she wanted to join me in my bed. I said it in a non threatening almost platonic way, but i still think to her she may be thinking "sex" and I knwo thats not what she wants right now, but i just wanted to get close to her, not that you know? she wasnt upset and dint make a big deal about it at all, but the way she laid down like that then like a few minutes later she got back up and sat in the chair.

[dwas528]

OK, this is one last question I have. In regards to everything. We just had this text message conversation

 

Alright, i really need you to read this, tell me what you think. I am almost certain she was implying me. She hangs out with noone other than those lesbian/work friends. And not nearly as much as she hangs out with me

 

So she texts me at like 11am asking "did you get your budget done"

 

I said "yep, what were you up to today"

 

her; " * * * * ton of hw"

 

me: "that sucks. Free for lunch?"

 

her: "Probably not. Ill let you know if dennis goes out alone"

 

Me: "You have to hold his hand? No wonder it went bad. Kidding Nah, dont worry about it. Movie tomorrow maybe or something"

Me: "Also, did you have fun hanging with colibe"

 

her: "no i meant for lunch haha"

her: "It turned into going over there last night and it was decent"

 

Me: "My text still applies"

Me: "ya so you had a good time?"

 

her: "yeah"

 

Me: "I still dont get the appeal, but you enjoy it so thats good enough for me"

Me: "Anyways no reason to sneak around unless you really want to in which case im down for yogurt or something"

 

her: "There is no appeal. I thin i secretly like being * * * * ed with haha"

her: "Joke, Colby was cool"

 

Me: "I'll * * * * you, i mean with you. Though im clearly out of your league but im glad you had fun sorta. Anyways keep me in the loop. Ill hold off running for frozen yogurt. No rush"

 

her: "yea get on my level damn"

 

Me: "the oozing sarcasm just humbled me"

 

her: "Joking, I was referring to games but whatevs. Im probably being to possessive over someone who has a girlfriend."

her: "I dont detect sarcasm"

 

Me: "I doubt the person has a girlfriend. Besides, possession is 9/10ths of the law. But im not good at fractions, i excel at basic math"

 

 

thats where it ended for now. Im thinking her last few messages were directly related to me. THEY HAD to be, otherwise i literally have NO clue what/who shes talking about and we talk enough about her personal life to where I think i WOUULD know, you know. And who could she be possesive or feel possesive of other than me?

 

If you agree, i really need to know. Because I will kiss her on friday/saturday with out a DOUBT. This would almost seal it.

[oldenoughtoknow]

Dwas, you're still overthinking this. Given all of the ambiguities and double entendres lately, I'm sure she was implying you. You've obviously seen some romantic movies. Just pick a scene you'd like to emulate and go for it. Have some wine. Don't ask her to sit on the bed with you. Tell her to come over and sit with you. Women like to feel your confidence and be led a bit in these situations. I don't know how she can give you any more clues. If you're totally misreading her and she's not interested at any point of your advances, she'll let you know - then blame the wine. Think past the first kiss. Right after the kiss, tell her you're not interested in sex. That will blow her socks off.