Personal Challenge

[madine]

We met on April 1st 2010, after which we started dating. We decided we were in an exclusive relationship on June 2nd 2010. She moved in with me September 2010. We moved to our own apartment December 2010. She broke up with me June 1st 2011. I did the begging, I did the pleading for about two weeks. After that we moved into LC. She said she wanted to remain friends, we met up a couple of times, but I was the only one making an effort. August 8th 2011 she told me over the phone she didn't want anything to do with me anymore. August 8th I initiated NC.

 

After 37 days of complete NC we saw each other again on 15th September 2011 at a meeting of a local political organisation, which we are both members of. I was not unfriendly but kept as much distance as possible. She did the same.

 

Last week I had to fight the urge to contact her. Some times I felt like I had to try and win her back again. Other times I wanted to tell her off.

 

Today - October 1st 2011 - I had a week moment in which I checked her Facebook again. I hadn't done that for a long time. And I read something I didn't like.

 

I was fed up with it, so I immediately deleted her from Facebook. It felt liberating.

 

A lot of people come to these boards hoping to find a way to win their ex back. Some might be successful, but most will be disappointed. When I registered I had lost my girl 3 weeks earlier and was still very much hoping to win her back. Four months have passed and I have clearly failed at doing so. It is time to finally start moving on for real.

 

To do so I have to have something else to put my focus on, like improving my life. So I have set myself a little challenge, because I like and need a challenge.

Here it is:

1) I will not contact her for at least six months starting today.

2) I will finish my education during the next six months.

3) I will find a job during the next six months.

4) I will have at least one date and a follow up date with a girl over the next six months.

5) I will make new friends. It is kind of hard to measure this. But seeing how I only add people to Facebook who I actually have really met and I count about 10% of my current contacts as very close friends, I'll just try to increase my friend count with 60.

6) I want to feel 'brand new', so I will alter the hair cut I've had for the last 10 years, I will lose 15 pound and will buy a new wardrobe after having done so.

 

Reevaluation six months from now.

 

Does anyone want to join me and have their own challenge? We can discuss how we'll reward ourselves. That'll be fun!

[casabrova]

I commend you for challenging yourself. I caution you, though. The more "devout" you are to this challenge, the harder you will be on yourself if you slip up. Just remember that you need to be flexible with yourself.

 

This is a tough situation, to put it simply and say the least. Just remember to go easy on yourself if you fall off the wagon. I believe Bruce Wayne's father put it best when he said "Why do we fall? So we can lea