Feeling very down , ugly and hopeless :'(

[Wishfullmannan]

So basically in the last four years my personality has began to change a lot and i dont really like it tbh. Bad things have happened during those four years including loss of two very loved one and my dad having a heart attacke, mum having depression still, me having mental breakdowns and self harming and family problems. So therefroe i have oticed many changes in my personality, i used to be loud and chatty and bubbly and confident...now im quite the opposite. I don;t mind the fact that im a bot more actually no very mature now which i never wanted to be but i guess its okay but im am really low in confidence and happiness now.

Back then i was in LOVE...which was such an amazing feeling i was 14 at the time when i first fell in love and it lasted for 4 years...then i started to like someone else. I have been liking this new person for at least 10/11 months and i havent said a word to him he used to always talk with my friends but never me and he always used to hold the door open for me which used to make me feel so happy but then i used t always think that he likes my friend...it turned out he did. But then he wen tout with another girl and apparently she dumped him...i can;t believev one could let go of such a nice guy like him! And now i see him but i can never speak to him and i always feel sooooooooooo UGLY INSIDE AND OUT...no matter what i do...putting make up on or anything elese just doesnt make me feel pretty or good at all! Its really upsetting! I am lacking happiness in my life and also love ...i really liek this guy and he never said a word to me! And now i knwo that i will have to forget him and get over him as im not pretty or clever or nice for him to ever like me...i mean he doesnt even say anyhting to me or smile at me forget about ever liking me im just not nice or pretty...i know it!!!!!

I always say im not going to hope but in my heart i always do have that 1 percent of hope which doesnt go away and i really want it to as i know i have no chance with him...what shall i do i just feel so down, ugly and upset!!! and i have become very angry nowadays which i hate as i was never a temperamental person at all and it upsets me when i get rude to others especially my mum, dad, bro and nan! i start crying afterwards and go apologise to them and give them a hug and kiss but it still upsets me that i get angry.

Anyone have any advice...Thank you very much in advance.

[catfeeder]

Instead of deciding that this guy must be the source of your happiness or unhappiness, switch that around and decide instead that an unhappy person repels people--and happiness is of our own design. We can build it creatively, or we can squelch it and opt instead to nurse misery into our default state. That's a decision.

 

Bad things happen to most of us, but it's how we choose to respond that makes or breaks our disposition. We can make another choice at any time, and we can pursue goals and passions that keep us focused and optimistic--which is how we attract love into our lives. Nobody else will come along a rescue us if we decide to focus on misery instead--that's a fairy tale, and it's a sign of maturity to outgrow that.

 

Head high.