trellabor Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Well i will try and condense this as much as possible. A girl I 'dated' in 6th grade (if u can call it that as kids) contacted me on FB after 15 years. Shortly after, we began dating and did so for the last 1.5 years or so. During this time, we had some fights which were pretty volatile with hurtful things being said, her even telling me to 'get out' a couple of times(I moved in with her and her 5 y/o daughter about 4 months ago). After those fights, we reconciled usually with her convincing me while i was packing to stay and 'we always find our way back to each other' she would say. Sometimes before i moved in and we had a fight, we wouldn't talk for a while, but one of us would always reach out to the other. So, over the past month or so, she was very distant, gone a lot even with her daughter. There were times she didn't come home until very late and didn't message me as much with txt's. As this went on I became more suspicious and un-trusting of what she was actually doing and telling me. I tried to call her on it a few times and got vehement denial that anything was or ever had been going on with anyone else. I should point out that she was dating someone when she first contacted me last year, which ended shortly after we began talking. Well, last Friday things were going ok and we were at home watching tv when she comes to me and says she has to go to her parents cause her mom was ill. I felt that she was lying to my face so I called her on it and again, got the vehement denial. I comforted her and told her i loved her and go check on her mom. Well, I didn't hear from her for hours and even asked if she was ok. I got very nervous so i drove by her parents house which is not far and her car was not there. When i got home i got a message 'I'm fine just watching her xoxo'. Well i knew that wasn't true, so freaking out i looked into her bedside drawer and found a roll of pics of her and some dude kissing with a receipt dated May 2011....right before i moved in. I sent her a message that said 'I'm done with your lying' grabbed what i could, and left. The next morning i get a txt saying 'Goodbye' then a few hours later berating me for going through her things, her tired of having to prove her love for me, even calling me a 'dipsh*t' saying the pics were from her past....ignoring the receipt. I called her on it and still yet, to this day a week later denies anything with anyone ever went on while we were together making it very hard for my mind to wrap itself around whats happening. Even though I told her I was moving out and it was obvious, she said 'you have til the 30th(of Sep) to get your stuff out and return my key'. No problem, i was already having that as my plan anyways. Then she retracts and says 'Well if u cant move all of it by the 30th, maybe we can work something out so u can keep it here'. I said no thank you, i should be all out by then. As a last ditch effort, I suggested counseling, as i think both of us have some inner things we need to get worked out. She immediately said thats a great idea she would go, because after her husband divorced her 5 years ago after their daughter was born she went to counseling. I said great do u have a preference of where to go or who to see? No response. I went to move my stuff out of the garage, and her 2nd car was now in the driveway, effectively blocking my 2nd car in and making it really impossible to get my stuff out. So i just asked her to please move the car so i could finalize my move and she did, then sends me a message saying she did and hoped I am ok. I have said nothing to her since that request to move the car on Tuesday. Since then, I have received a message from her of some kind every day saying 'I hope u dont forget me', or 'I wish u wouldnt shut me out'. After i began moving my things, she started to make attempts to still be friends, saying her 'feelings for me havent changed even though we arent together anymore'. I still said nothing, but receiving the messages hurts me inside even though I effectively left. What is worse, she sent a message to me saying 'I realize this involves more than u and me when my daughter asked me why u dont love us anymore'. Yeesh. What hurts most is i feel like i caught her red handed with all the signs there but still i get no admittance of wrong doing. I believe she is seeing someone else even now probably the same guy from months ago going on the whole time. She mentioned to me she was on my computer in Aug. of last year and saw some pics of another girls breasts while she was on there(which u would really have to look for to find), but NEVER mentioned it until now....which I find really strange, because when i found pics i called her on it right away, i cant harbor that inside. I readily admitted to the pics she found on my pc. The whole time we were together from almost the very start, she was buying me gifts, saying how much we were alike and how much she wanted a 'piece of me', i.e. a child by me. Always talking about wanting a family, she even got a tattoo of my Astrological sign on one of her toes next to her's and her daughters. She always talked about how we were soul mates and i was her first love....but I couldnt reconcile that against her leaving for another high school, marrying a guy very young and having a child at 27 only to get divorced shortly after. It seemed out of place, sort of. But i loved her so i tried to overlook it. Basically, I'm really confused with all of this, never getting any admittance from her of cheating even though i feel i have proof, and called her on it it's insulting to me to feel like even still she is lying to my face and has been for months. I was working on reading my self help books and even said to her 'We need to work on ourselves and i need to fix some things about me' because i really believe i do....she said these things right back to me. So basically, yesterday i finalized my move and had to leave a couple things in the garage that i couldnt fit into the garbage can and couldnt take with me, and left her key where she could find it still NC with her since Tuesday. I got the message today 'I wish u would talk to me and not shut me out, are you going to come later and pick up what is left? Well i hope u are doing well.' I was seriously hoping she would just see the key and let me go realizing that was it. I don't want to say anything to her but i feel compelled to say something, idk what. I dont know if she realizes she made a big mistake, hurt me very bad and will never see me again so she is freaking out a little bit or if she is just trying to keep me along for the ride for her own personal selfish reasons. Anyone have any insight they can lend to this situation please, I'm really torn with what to do here. Thank you. Link to comment
DN Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Unless and until she comes up with a convincing explanation you should stay away - her car not being at her Mom's when she said she was there is going to be very difficult to explain. Link to comment
trellabor Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 When i asked her about that, she said it was accross the street at her parents friends house, which would have been believable had i seen it there which i didnt. She hasn't had anything to say about that after, and i questioned her suspect phone behavior, putting it away quickly not wanting me to see it and got no explanation there either. That is what makes me so upset, she has lofty excuses and makes me feel like i never get the truth which is why i left. Link to comment
DN Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 which is why i left.Under those circumstances I think I would stay away. Link to comment
trellabor Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 Probably right, so I should continue NC and say nothing you think? Link to comment
DN Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Probably right, so I should continue NC and say nothing you think?Yes, that's what I would do. Link to comment
MK9 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 She wants you to marry her and look after her kids, while she's having fun with other guys. Sounds like a good deal. Don't try to confront her either, she doesn't want to hear it. She's probably thinking " how annoying." Or maybe she's doing a project of kissing random stranger: link removed. Some women like to do these kind of things as hobby. Link to comment
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